American Horror Story: Asylum - Unholy Night

So just my two cents, American Horror Story was boring this week.  So if you missed it, I suggest you watch the much more entertaining "Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney" game show sketch from Saturday Night Live this week.  It might sort of remind you of American Horror Story, without the pain of having to actually watch it.

Well Merry Christmas everybody.

In the first scenes in this episode, this deranged man Leigh, kills some Santa who's sitting outside a grocery store. This Santa volunteers to get away from his wife for a few hours.  So that's what happens when you try to get out of spending time with your wife.

Leigh steals his suit and then breaks into some family's house, because I guess that their Christmas decorations offended him, so he threatens to rape and murder them, and probably does, because he ends up at Briarcliff.  Jude keeps him chained up, but he still manages to attack an orderly, which gets him put in solitary confinement.

I know what you're thinking... Just what this show needed, another character.

Sister Jude used to keep the decorations scarce for the holidays, but now that Sister Mary Eunice is in charge, that's all about to change.

 

Festive

Jude returns to Briarcliff, knowing that the devil is possessing Sister Mary Eunice, intent on bringing her down.

Sister Mary Eunice goes to Leigh in solitary and presents him with a Santa suit.

Arden brings Mary Eunice a pair of ruby earrings.  She is delighted, and now Arden knows she has the devil inside her, because the real Mary Eunice wouldn't even dare to take a bite of his candy apple.  Arden says he took those earrings from a woman in the concentration camps, who would swallow them every day, pass them and then swallow them again so they couldn't be taken.  The earrings end up killing her.

  

First of all, Mary Eunice doesn't even blink when he says those earrings have been pooped out hundreds of times.  Second of all, they are HUGE. And I thought swallowing an iron pill was supposed to be bad.

Kit has a weird dream about bringing a tree home for Christmas, where Alma is pregnant, but then midkiss she turns into Grace, and Kit is much more excited to see her.  Ew.  Lana approaches him, tells him she knows he's innocent and says they're both going to get out of there.

Meanwhile, Arden visits Jude and says she was right about Mary Eunice and he wants to help her.  He helps Jude get back into Briarcliff.  Then Jude tells him to send Mary Eunice to her office and they cannot be interrupted while they talk.

During the holiday decorating, Leigh attacks Frank and tries to kill him, which is the reason Mary Eunice let him loose to begin with.  Frank feels horrible about killing Grace, and he wants to report what happened, so Mary Eunice set this up to try to prevent him from doing so.

Lana goes to Thredson's old office to get to the phone, but Oliver catches her.  He tells her he already destroyed all the evidence, so he didn't care if she spoke to the police because they wouldn't believe her.  But, since she hurt his feelings, he's still going to kill her.  Just in time, Kit arrives and knocks Thredson out.  Lana wants to kill him but Kit stops her and says they need him to be able to prove he's Bloody Face.  They tie him up and hide him from sight.

Frank brings Leigh back to solitary, but then Mary Eunice comes and slits Frank's throat, planning to blame the murder on Leigh.  Then Mary Eunice brings Leigh to the office where Jude is waiting for her, and locks them in together.  Outside, Arden is speaking to Mary Eunice, and we learn that he was working with her the whole time to set Jude up.

Arden tries to dispose of Grace's body, but the aliens take it.  Natch.

Leigh canes Jude and is going to kill her, but she manages to stab him with a letter opener.

This show is EXHAUSTING.  Next episode is called "The Coat Hanger," and we'll have the return of Dylan McDermott/Dermot Mulroney.  Or is it...

Yeah, that's it.

Picture Credit: tumblr/fx/nbc