Mob Doctor: Confessions & Sibling Rivalry

Yes, a horse.  We'll get to this.

It seems like it's been forever since I did a recap, and to make up for that, I'm doing a DOUBLE RECAP.  That's right.  You may be unaware that Mob Doctor aired one of the remaining episodes on a "special night," aka Saturday night, aka a night that no one watches television.  And they also aired an episode on another special night, known to many as New Year's Eve.  So things are going well.

Before I begin, congratulations are in order, as one of the Mob Doctor stars, Zach Gilford, got married last week.  Cheers for your nuptials, and the freedom to star on a better show.

The only way one can prepare for watching 2 Mob Doctor episodes

CONFESSIONS

Grace meets up with Constantine at his bakery, figuring he needs an insulin shot.  But what he really wants to talk to her about is the fact that she was spotted helping King and Franco in the last episode.  Constantine now assumes that Franco is the one who referred King to her.  Now Constantine tells Grace he wants to know everything she knows about Franco and he wants Franco DEAD.

Grace tells Franco he's in danger but he says he needs to stay on the inside with King for now.  He tries to hook King up with forklifts or something for some reason.  I'm going to be honest... I've been paying very little attention to the "mob" aspect of this show.  From here on out I am just going to assume everything is about video poker machines.

So Franco is going to hook King up with some forklifts so he can lift video poker machines.  When the forklift guy finds out King is from Detroit, he FLIPS.  He doesn't work with people from Detroit because he lost $100,000 on a Bulls game 20 years ago.  But he throws King some trivia about Chicago until he's satisfied that he's actually from there.  Now the poker machines can be lifted.

So Grace has a patient who is a priest with a nasty infection on his cheek.  He was performing an exorcism on a woman when the demon who was using her body as a vessel bit him.  Here we go again.

Brett is in on this demon case and says something about "an exorcism in 2013."  Aw Brett.  Too bad this episode aired in 2012.

Constantine tells King he can't forklift around any poker machines without kicking into the syndicate.  In my opinion, Constantine is focusing too much on the organization and not enough on the CRIME.  I mean is this the mob, or what?  I don't know why this man expects everyone to agree to play by the rules.

FYI

So Nate is sent with Gio and Louie (aka Danny Romalotti Jr.) to do some errand for Constantine and probably pick up $5,000 he made from the poker machines.  So Louie goes in this store, we hear a gunshot and then all of a sudden Louie runs out chasing this kid.  They catch him and Louie says Constantine's guy on the inside of the shop got killed and they need to take care of this kid.  Nate gets worried because the kid is unconscious so he calls Grace.

The priest's leg goes numb and they think he had a stroke as a result of the infection.  Brett goes to take a spinal tap, which is never good.  On these shows, any time someone gets a spinal tap, something is about to go down.  The priest starts threatening Brett and Dr. White with a needle.  Meanwhile the possessed woman has passed away and now another priest thinks the demon is in the first priest.

Now Constantine is trying to create a triumvirate within his syndicate.  What is this man doing????  Well neither of his two partners in "crime" are digging this idea, so he sweetens the deal by going behind their backs and offering each of them 50% of the profits.  Leaving him with... nothing?  But he claims they'll never agree on anything, so in the end, he'll make all of the decisions and all of the money?

So they find out the possessed woman actually had rabies.  And now the priest has rabies.  And rabies can hardly be treated once symptoms are showing, so he's pretty much a goner.  But in the beginning of the episode, Grace cut herself on a scalpel and now she was exposed to the rabies!  So Brett tries frantically to call her so she can get treated.

Grace can't be bothered to return any of his 7 phone calls, because the teen Nate called about has woken up and won't talk.  Nate goes to Constantine to ask him about it, and Constantine is like, you kidnapped this kid, you're STUNAD, let him go.  Now he sounds like my mom.

Grace is alone with the kid, but he's having an asthma attack.  She needs to get an inhaler from her car, so she leaves him alone with Danny Romalotti, which means he's about to do something dumb.  She comes back and the kid is unconscious, so she gives him a shot of epinephrine, which revives him.  Then she notices he's been strangled!  Danny pulls a gun on her but then Nate comes in and shoots him in the back.  That's when the kid admits that Danny shot the guy in the store and stole the $5,000.

Constantine and his triumvirate go to King and they're like, we want 30 cents of every dollar you make forklifting the poker machines. And he's like, I don't like this but OK, I guess that's how the mob works in Chicago.

Constantine is coming for Franco, and now Franco is on the run.  P.S. Grace got her rabies shots.

SIBLING RIVALRY

At the beginning of this episode, someone sends Constantine a bottle of champagne rigged with explosives.

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

A VIP comes in for surgery, and they specifically request Brett.  Turns out the patient is his brother, and I guess in this universe it's totally cool to operate on family members?  In the ER, Grace is grilling Brett with a thousand questions, including why his last name isn't Hanson like his brother, and so on.  You know what Grace?  These would have been nice things to find out about Brett while you guys were a couple.

They start moving into surgery and Dr White says Brett is hands off from this point.  Thank god someone on this show has a lick of sense.

Grace has a patient come in saying she has abdominal pain.  Grace discharges her without giving her a CT scan because the patient has come in 81 times this year looking for drugs.  What year would that be, 2013?

Now for the horse!  Nate calls Grace in a panic.  He was trying to get very valuable sperm from this race horse, so he and his friend gave it viagara, and now the horse is experiencing an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, so Nate contacted his health services provider.  What show am I watching?

Grace calls Ro to bring her drugs and apples for this ridiculous plot line. Grace is all, I don't have time to deal with this stupid horse, and yet there she goes, feeding pills to a HORSE.

Grace's drug addict comes back, but now she's on Brett's brother's case so Olivia has to treat her.  I don't know why everyone in the hospital expects Grace to deal with this drug addict every one of the 83 times she comes in for drugs a year.  Like, doctors don't have assigned patients they treat every time they come on so Olivia is complaining it's not fair, but that is dumb. Olivia decides to one up Grace and gives the patient a CT scan, and finds out that she needs surgery or else she will die.  So that's the end of this plot.

Brett hasn't seen his brother since his mom died, and we get a bunch of Brett backstory.  His brother is getting worse so they need to find out how he fell to see what kind of injuries he might have.  They get a video of the crash which shows him passing out before he even falls off the bike, so now they have a new set of questions.

Meanwhile, Nate is going nuts because the pills Grace gave the horse are making him "aggro."  And I'm really tired of the horse now, I don't even think this plotline got resolved.

As it turns out, Brett's brother got a UV tattoo of his boss's name, because they are having an affair.  He got the tattoo in Barbados, which his boss knew, but she denied that he had been out of the country recently when they were trying to find out if he could have a weird infection.  Like, ok, fine, lie in front of the family, but then pull a doctor to the side and say, hey by the way, I was lying.  Then she has the nerve to cry and ask the doctors to save his life!  After you withheld important medical information???

They save his life, anyway.

Constantine tracks down where his champagne came from, and it led him to Titus.  But Titus doesn't know anything about it.  It turns out, it was his brother who Grace had saved from being poisoned by his wife in one of the first episodes.  Constantine shoots him.  All's well that ends well.

At the very end, some man shows up for Constantine and Constantine is like, who is this?  I never forget a face.  And the guy is like, Oh really?  It's me dad.

Bombshell

The next episode is airing on another special night!  So catch it this Saturday.  Or don't.  Whatever, do what you want.  And after that, just one episode to go!

Stay tuned for what will certainly be a satisfying conclusion.

Picture Credit: realitytvgifs, FOX