Mama’s Boys of The Bronx: Recap Episodes 3 &4

Episode 3 - Bringin’ The Bronx to Miami

The show starts off with Frankie’s mom, Gina, who does an inventory of the refrigerator for what she’s left for Frankie to eat, while she goes to Florida. She’s got everything labeled and stacked. She warns him, “Now remember, this food is for you not your friends. And no wild parties and no girls.” “Okay, okay,” Frankie tells her. She says she needs to get away from him, at least for a little bit.

Patti is leaving a detailed list on how to work all the appliances while she’s away. She’s going with Gina and Camille to Florida. She explains how the the stove and the toaster work. Anthony comments that it’s like an instructional video. “What?  You think I can’t take care of myself?” No, apparently Patti doesn’t and I can see why. She does everything for him! And, Anthony loves it. He tries to make her feel guilty by saying “Don’t worry I’ll starve while you’re gone.” For some reason I don’t find that at all possible.

Camille, who is obsessed with the cats that she cares for, tells Chip he needs to take care of them and has to feed them. “You make sure you take care of my babies.” She explains feeding times and litter box duty. “Oh Madone!” Chip says, “What about my feeding times?”  “You eat when your hungry,” Camille says.

Now that the moms are going away, Frankie decides that he’s going to have a Miami themed party. The guys come over and they decorate the place with palm trees. The girls show up and everyone is drinking homemade wine and doing shots. The girls are dancing and when one of them takes her shoes off, Chip comments, "You’re one step closer to sex." Oh my, Chip, shhh! He offers $10.00 for the first girl naked! Thank goodness he didn’t offer $100.00, cause it may have happened. Unfortunately, the only one who even comes close to being naked is some guy, who strips down to his boxers. Now they’re gonna play spin the bottle for a lap dance. Poor Pete is targeted thanks to Giovanni. In the end Anthony wins the spin and there is no real lap dance. They carry on, making out with the girls. Yeah that’s right, I remember acting similar to that, oh but that was back in like 1976. The girls leave and the guys sit down and take a look at the place. All the food is gone and the place is a mess. So they come up with a great idea. Lets hop on a plane and head on down to Florida to be with the Mama's.

So they show up in Delray Beach and, to say the least, Camille, Patti and Gina don’t look too happy. Gina calls them babies. The guys asked if they are having fun and Gina says, "yeah, until yous showed up.“ Frankie lets her know he’ll find her anywhere, even if he has to put lojack in her suitcase. Poor Gina. Well, all they want to do is eat, so the mamas make them dinner and tell them to eat and get lost. Then they have another great idea. They’re gonna head down to south beach cause Chip has a "boy" at the Catalina who can hook them up. They head out and they are out at the Clevelander when they meet 2 pretty girls from Hungary. Frankie mistakes them for being hungry and Chip once again mentions sex....they lose a chance with those two, I wonder why? They meet another group of girls and they get a little personal and ask some questions. They let on they live with their moms, who do everything for them. One asks if they have a curfew. Another says, "yeah he probably told his mom, “I’m going out, be back later, leave the chicken cutlets out".  She nailed that for sure, any one of them could have said that line. The guys get a little turned off when the girls ask if they like broccoli parmigiana. What? What part of Italy is that from? I guess they aren’t fans of broccoli parmigiana and now they aren’t too fond of these girls. I like how they decide who’s good for them or not, over food choices.

So the next day they meet 2 beautiful Australian girls. Chip wants to fill them in on what Italian men like. They like to eat, have fun and lots of women. Then Chip (and I’m not going to repeat it)  combos 2 of the items together. Maybe Anthony is right, he always kills the game! They are having fun with the girls and they talk about what the night is going to bring them. Meanwhile, the moms decide to take a trip to south beach themselves. “Wow,” Camille says, “lots of men flesh here.” And, surprise! The guys can’t believe it. The girls lose interest in the guys, and the moms tell them they came down to teach them a lesson. The guys blame their moms over why they can’t meet any girls and then they sit around and have lunch. Just like at home. It ends with small talk around the table. And the guys, deep down inside, look happy their moms are there.

Episode 4 - Devour!

Gina explains how to make a cannoli!

We are back on Arthur avenue in this episode. Aunt Gina’s sitting in the kitchen with Giovanni and she’s giving him her grocery list once again. I need some things for you to pick up. Giovanni looks annoyed. You always need something. I gotta get to the gym, I have no time for the groceries. I’m not sure why this guy puts up a fight. We all know Aunt Gina will find him. Giovanni, shame on you! Be nicer to her! Then, Giovanni's friend Gio shows up. Instead of hitting the gym, Giovanni tells him he has this great idea. He wants to have a cannoli eating contest on the avenue. “What?,” Gio says, he’s obsessed with cannoli's. It think he’s right. I think he does have a fetish.” They walk the avenue, eating and talking about this brainstorm of an idea.

Camille and Chip shop on the avenue. Chip stops to eat raw clams on the street and Camille thinks it’s disgusting. They’re slimy and scurvy. Chip says they are better than half the girls he’s been out with. Girls and Clams....in the same sentence? Really Chip?

Looks like Patti had to drag Anthony out on her shopping excursion.  Anthony seems to be reluctant in helping her and says he’s got better things to do. They stop off at a bakery, where Anthony bites into a cookie, and feels the pain of a cavity. Don’t worry, Patti will take care of that later.

And by the way, Aunt Gina finds Giovanni. Same place I found him. At the pastry shop. He tells her about the cannoli eating contest and she doesn’t like the idea one bit. It’s juvenile and stupid. She lets him know that she should hit him over the head with a frying pan to knock some sense into him. If that works, then I say, go ahead Aunt Gina!

Building a cat condo!

Camille is really a cat lover. She tends to numerous cats and is very concerned for them in the winter. Chip goes to Frankie to ask him to build some insulated cat condos, so the cats wont freeze. “You know, for my mom Frankie.” But, deep down inside, Chip has a soft spot for these cats too. Camille is thrilled with the condos.

The "tutu"

Giovanni is now hitting the streets with this red and white tutu in his hand trying to find some cheerleaders for the cannoli eating contest. So, I’m thinking, he’s an inspiring designer and this is what he came up with? Giovanni, show us what you can do. Wear something at least! This  turned out to be unsuccessful and Giovanni did not find any cheerleaders. I guess he’ll have to settle for the neighborhood audience.

Patti takes, let me rephrase that, makes the dentist appt for Anthony; brings him to the dentist & oversees the dentist’s actions. Patti, I think Anthony may be able to handle this on his own! After he learns how to show up for an appointmentt he can learn how to work the toaster at home! Gee...she’s spoiling him!

Giovanni is getting ready for his cannoli eating contest. You know, the usual things that men do before they’re going to sit down and overstuff themselves with cannolis. There’s the tanning, the haircut and the manicure. Just in case, he says, he meets someone. Next time I’m single, I’ll have to remember that if I want to meet any single men, I need to go to a cannolli eating contest. The moms and boys show up. Frankie is hosting, being that Joe Pesci had a previous engagement. I can’t believe he missed this. So the contest goes on and Giovanni looks like a real pro. He certainly has had a lot of practice. In the end Frankie asks his mom who the winner is. Pete Cigars wins. And by the way, he cheated. He passed his cannolis down to Giovanni. So the first annual cheating cannoli contest comes to an end. Giovanni leaves with Aunt Gina and they  walk down the avenue. Aunt Gina consoles him and she’s gonna make him a nice pizza when they get home.

Well there are a lot of funny chuckling scenes in the shows. One thing for sure is that these guys are playing themselves. I do enjoy the humor. These guys have not a worry about them. I wish my life was so simple. Seems like Pete’s the only one with a real job. I missed both Larry and Grazia in these episodes and I look forward to them in the next ones. I hope you enjoyed this recap. Please leave your comments below.

Written by: Carmela Corleone

Picture Credit: TLC and Carmela