Never enough botox?
Excitement, excitement and more excitement in this episode. Lil Jenn and Linda come by Big Ang's to discuss the Florida trip. Big And says, “Me and my ladies are going to Florida and I'm gonna spend all the money.” And don't think she’s kidding! Lil Jenn says that she thinks they should get a case of champagne, so every morning they can wake up to mimosa's and get wacked and re-wacked. And don't think they didn't. First the girls say no tequila, because Linda may wake up married, and Lil Jenn adds and I may have sex. But don't think they didn't…because yeah, they did. Big Ang says she deserves a condo on the beach cause she’s old and freezing. Now there are 2 qualifications for condo-living. And if the wise guys can have one, so can she. After all she’s a mob doll and she deserves it.
Big Ang takes a trip to Dr. Ledermans' office for some more botox. The doctor thinks Big Ang looks fine and doesn't want her to overdo it. Big Ang says she's addicted to anything that makes her look good! The doctor stresses that she has sun damage and needs to be careful. She gives Big Ang some filler shots and tells her to come back in 6 months.
Trying on bathing suits is exhausting!
Big Ang is home bathing suit shopping. She can't find any of her suits and needs some custom suits made. I had no idea this was a service! Big Ang may want to give Carla a call. Carla measures Big Ang and she thinks her measuring tape is a wee bit short. But Big Ang tries on some great suits and looks damn good. Gimme, gimme, gimme Big Ang says, and she sure got plenty. She tells Carla about her spending problem. She says she went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and dropped $2600.00. Now that’s a lot of towels!
So off to Florida the girls go. They are staying at the Ocean Manor. Why stay anywhere else Big Ang says, when her Uncle Sally use to hangout there. She says she got upgraded to the Penthouse Suite. Wow! It’s gorgeous! Linda is excited and looks at a room and decides she can hang from the pole. After all, it wont be the first time she broke a bed. Lil Jenn says everything in that room is getting humped.
I only see dollar bills, that won't buy much
Guess who shows up? Anthony! Wow! As I'm writing this I just got extra excited. I wonder why? Well, never mind. Big Ang is happy because Anthony is going to bring around his hot friends. Can they get any hotter than him? He has a great smile! Big Ang gives out some gifts, “Pink Flasks,” to house the Patron - so cool. She chats with Anthony, the two discuss how they're gonna make it rain and Big Ang throws money up in the air and says…“I don't care.”
The next day they are on the beach and Big Ang is in a red hot bathing suit. She tells the girls she needs to find a condo on the beach and she's not leaving without one. She tells them about the annual cocktail party she is going to have. It’s gonna have a DJ and lots of liquor. Linda asks, “Is there gonna be Patron?” Cause that’s all she cares about. Don't doubt it Linda.
Neil arrives and Big Ang says he just better give her some space. Lil Jenn is overly excited to see Neil and gets very touchy feely. She says he is looking good. Oh boy, Big Ang says; we better get Jenn laid on this trip because she even thinks Neil is looking good. Well the party goes on. It seems that the Patron may have had Linda acting like she has a chemical imbalance, as Big Ang says, cause she is squishing her breasts into some guys face! I scan the room, always looking for that certain someone to be in a scene. Not there. As usual. Everyone is drinking, everyone is dancing, Lil Jenn’s dancing on the kitchen counter, Linda's doing a hump dance and states, "There’s no shame in my game baby.” Sandy, the plumber, and Big Ang talk about going to the casino. Big Ang wants to try to win back all the money she spent on the party.
Anthony joins the fun!
The next day the girls are hung over. Lil Jenn tells Linda she straddled everything. Linda wants to know if she was good. They go down to the pool and Linda spots some hot looking guy. “Wow, who's that?” she asks. As he walks closer, she realizes it’s Anthony! Boy, maybe Linda is still drunk? Lil Jenn wants to talk about her having sex. Anthony says he may have someone for her, and introduces her to Joe. He tells Joe she hasn't had sex in 6 years and Joe wants to know if she’s been in jail!
Big Ang goes condo shopping. The first 2 condos were horrible. Actually, I think Big Ang called the condos “skeevotz.” She sees a third condo and she likes it. A view of the ocean. She gives it her thumbs up and says, “Neil has no say cause he has no money.”
Back at the Ocean Manor, the crew and Frank, the owner of the hotel, are having lunch together. Frank cheers to Big Ang for being a great customer and friend. During lunch, Big Ang's sister, Janine, calls. Big Ang tells her about the condo that she likes. Janine gets a little excited and asks Big Ang how is she going to pay for a condo? With her good looks? She's going over Big Ang's bills and tells her she got a $11,000 furniture bill for just 1 room! Big Ang states she doesn't want to save money. After talking to her sister, Big Ang takes a big hard swallow.
Her trip to the casino doesn't pay off!
The girls go to the Mardi Gras casino and Big Ang is determined to win money to buy the condo! She thinks Sandy, the plumber, is her lucky charm. Big Ang is betting everything on number 17, but doesn't end up winning. So they'll be no condo to buy...at least not that night.
Big Ang is bigger than life!
The next day, Big Ang and the crew take a ride on a 73 foot yacht. She's loving it. Champagne is flowing, there's wind in her hair and she's happy. Lil Jenn is boasting about the bathroom having a window that looks out in the water. She says she took the best dump of her life! She talks to Sandy about buying the condo. Sandy tells her to just wait it out a few months, cause Big Ang always gets what she wants. Big Ang tells everyone she has an announcement. She's made a decision. Oh boy...they don't know what to think. She says she's buying the condo! “I do whatever the F**K I want, even if I go broke.” So there you have it. Another great party hosted by Big Ang. She couldn't have said it better herself, but this is one of my favorite quotes from Big Ang, "I've been broke a million times, but I’ve been on top of the world 2 million times.”
Stay tuned next week when Big Ang goes to Atlantic City!
Written By: Carmela Corleone
Follow me on twitter @carmelacorleone
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