Heather says to Aviva, "Don't tell me anything Mother F*cker!"
Aviva answers, "Did you learn that in prison?"
…that is the question. Tonight is the premiere of the RHONY and I have decided, after seeing the trailer for season 6, to try and blog the show from the start. I see there is a lot of drama previewed and drama leads to the “What The Hell Moments” that I love to poke fun at. For example, who hasn’t seen Aviva’s leg laying out on the floor and then wondered how the hell did it get there?
Aviva's Leg all decked out in her Jimmy Choo shoe!
Now don’t look for a serious, full time following of the RHONY, because I am not going to be following their every move on and off the set. For full-time blogging of the Real Housewives franchise you will need to go to another blog, my first choice being Stoopidhousewives, she leaves no stone unturned.
Having said all that, I am going to recap season 5 from memory, so don’t count on much. You should know I tend to favor the “new” wives because I am a new viewer and they appeal to me more than the “old” blood. Where did we leave off? Carole was the level headed, calm wife who agreed to do the show probably in hopes of it helping promote her new book, “The Widow’s Guide To Sex and Dating.” She spent a lot of her airtime trying to diffuse emotional situations that came up all season. My favorite line of hers was about LuAnn, when she described her as having a case of “Royal Tourette’s Syndrome.” LuAnn was so in love with Jacques that they were trying to have a baby. That must be the new trend for 50 something wives, to have midlife crises and want babies? However, I don’t think she and Jacques are a couple any more, so maybe she will have her chance with the “Johnny Depp” pirate now? Heather, the serious business woman, had her patience tested by Sonja, when she offered her help in branding and marketing her “toaster oven.” What the hell is a toaster oven? It was an appliance that Wilma Flintstone used once upon a time. Sonja was very demanding and ungrateful, causing Heather to have a little meltdown (and I don’t blame her) for making her waste time. Sonja…what can I say about her? To say I hate her burlesque performances would be an understatement. I think they make her look totally ridiculous, but that may be the look she is going for. On top of that, I find it hard to watch her drink and get naked every chance she gets. It seems like a pathetic way to get attention and assure herself a slot in next season’s cast. Now as for Aviva, I started out making plenty of jokes about her because she said she didn’t want the focus to be on her prosthetic leg and yet she told the story of her childhood accident to anyone who would listen. The leg took on a life of it’s own, and I started to think of it as another cast member because it got so much airtime. I look forward to her leg’s debut this season since it seems to have put it’s best foot forward. Aviva also has a new book that her leg can help her promote, appropriately called, “Leggy Blonde.” Ramona, Ramona, Ramona…my least favorite NY housewife, is a drama queen. She creates hysteria at a moments notice. Remember when Aviva wanted to go in the pool and Ramona made a huge fuss over Aviva’s leg getting wet? I can do without the Pinot, the slurred words, the cuddling with Sonja…in my opinion, she is the most ridiculous one in the cast and seems to want to top herself every season. I hear she has a new red wine out, maybe we’ll hear more about that this season? Oh, and maybe there will be some Mario drama since he allegedly stepped out on their marriage and supposedly fathered a child with a younger woman? Now that’s a storyline!
This season we have a new addition to the cast, Kristen Taekman, a model and business woman. I don’t know anything about her at this point except she does look beautiful.
If you watch the trailer for season 6 it appears that there is plenty of drama, some unexpected outbursts, and they are throwing the word “liar” around an awful lot. Looks like Andy is turning up the heat for ratings! Check it out.
Picture and Video Credit Bravo
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