Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E18

"You're late, late late!" nags Kristen for more than half the show!

No wonder Josh doesn't come home.

“Something To Sing About” or not. Apparently we are going see LuAnn refuse to perform at open mic night, or will she?

Here we go. Heather and Kristin and their two husbands meet for dinner. They start off with a “bossy” discussion. This is called beating a dead horse. Heather and Josh agree on the demands of business and the crazy, unpredictable hours. Who cares? Kristin really wants her husband to “get” that he has a wife and family, and he needs to make time for them. He doesn’t get it.

Next! Ramona Mario and their daughter are around the piano. Ramona mentions open mic at Birdland. Mario is learning a new song, “Effortless,” written for him to sing for the occasion. Ramona says they are going to go because Mario loves to sing. They are going to ask LuAnn to go too. A guy is playing the piano and Mario sings. Well all I can say is I hope Mario doesn’t ever go on The Voice because he stinks. RHONY has officially run out of material for storylines!

Sonja interviews a new intern. She is a psychology major and Sonja doesn’t want to be analyzed. Too bad because Sonja’s behavior is worth putting under a microscope. Aviva pops up during the interview. Sonja has prepared a serene setting in the garden to deliver bad news to Aviva. Aviva is happy to see Sonja. Sonja tells her about Montana. In general they all got along really well, except for talking about Aviva the whole time. Aviva is shocked, but should she be? And then Sonja throws her best friend, aka BFF, Ramona under the bus saying she started the ball rolling on Aviva. Aviva asks if they were worried about her, but Sonja sets her straight. They thought she lied about asthma and the nebulizer was just a prop, all to get attention. Aviva says her lung capacity was under 50% and she couldn’t take the chance of being hospitalized. Aviva says she went to the Hamptons for two days knowing her doctor would be there. Aviva, somewhat outraged at their accusations, says maybe she is lying about her artificial leg to get attention too. Sonja wants to protect Aviva for some reason. I guess we will find out when the sh*t hit’s the fan in the finale (which I hope comes very soon).

RHONY milking Carole's book deal for all it's worth!

Carole’s turn at bat. Carole is still playing with her new book and is holding the UK copy which has a different cover. She has to make the audio version of her book. She is sending out galley copies to get a buzz going with some important people like Barbara Walters and Kelly Rippa. Not to mention, she gets a ton of free publicity on the show for everything little thing she does to it.

RHONY milking Sonja's ass

for all it's worth

Back to Ramona. She is meeting with a plastic surgeon. She wants to look good for open mic night . . . seriously? Ramona suddenly discovers that she enjoys Kristen and is taking her under “her wings.” The doctor is melting a layer of fat on Ramona’s stomach. They want Kristen to start botox, Kristen says no. Good for you Kristen! Then Sonja gets on the table and gets a little too graphic with her sexual moves and explanations. Where is that psychology intern when you need her?

Kristen decides to cook a meal for date night so Josh can’t say he doesn’t come home because there is never any food on the table. Kristen has no clue how to cook anything. She looks like it’s the first time she has been in her kitchen . . . or any kitchen for that matter. Josh was supposed to be home at 6 PM and it’s 6:30. She calls to confront him about it. He is on his way. He gets bent out of shape and yells at her that he had a conference call with six other people. Come on, it’s only 60 minutes anyway.

Sonja and Harry Dubin get together. They had a hot relationship 25 years ago until he chose another date on New Year’s Eve. They have a picnic in the park. She likes the way he smells when he sweats…too much information. Sonja appreciates the way Harry “gets” her when her girlfriends don‘t. Was this scene necessary? Harry will say or do anything to continue to be cast on the show.

Kristen and Josh continue their fight. Kristen is a whiny winge. Kristen’s potatoes are suffering. We are all suffering. She asks him to set the table, even though she had an extra 30 to 60 minutes to do it herself. He says he doesn’t mind eating out. Now he tells her! She could have just relaxed and waited for him to come home instead of trying to figure out how to cook. They sit down to eat and he thanks her for making the meal. But Kristen can’t let go of the fact that he was late. She is such a nag! No wonder poor Josh doesn’t want to come home. They agree to go to a mediator and Josh thinks the mediator will side with him.

LuAnn is taking professional pictures with Jacques and her dogs. She feels their relationship is in trouble. Perhaps this is a little foreshadowing, but too bad we already know they are no longer together.

Mario kills the song and

NOT in a good way!

Ramona is at open mic night at Birdland. Mario and Shane will be performing. Ramona calls them “my two husbands.” LuAnn is supposed to be singing with Heather as backup. Ramona thinks Heather sings better. Heather looks fantastic and she is a good sport. Sonja is also there, big surprise. LuAnn decides she doesn’t want to sing. Ramona doesn’t blame her, she knows she can’t sing and there is no autotune there. LuAnn doesn’t want to show up Mario, so she jokes. Lu thinks Ramona is teasing and bullying her and she is just there to support Mario. LuAnn tells Ramona she will sing if she wants to and, if she doesn’t want to, she won’t. Everyone thinks Ramona is being obnoxious, so what else is new? Lu is losing her patience with Ramona and her hurtful rudeness. The host announces Mario, who comes up to the stage. He sings a love ballad to Ramona (all the while isn‘t he having an affair with a young woman?). Sonja is nervous for Mario. She should be, Mario stinks. The song stinks. And Harry is stuffing his face with chicken like a caveman.

Heather belts out Bill Bailey, but

she is no superstar!

And next up to sing is Heather. Heather sings Bill Bailey. They think Heather sings great, like a superstar. I mean she sings pretty good, but a superstar? I guess they have very low standards. Don’t get me wrong. Heather was head and shoulders better than Mario . . . but even a howling dog could have beat Mario.

P.S. LuAnn tweets she did get up and sing “Big Spender,” but it was cut from the show. Good for you Lu!


Picture Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E14

Heather is sharing Aviva's sex text with the girls!

“Sex, Lies and Facials” sounds like an interesting title . . . Let’s see if it is!

We start at LuAnn’s rental in Saratoga. Sonja is leaving in Lu’s limo. Sonja is ranting to the limo driver who takes her bags and puts them in the car. Carole thinks Sonja is pissed because they won all the money at the track and she didn‘t. Sonja is wandering around outside and comes back when she realizes no one is coming out after her and frankly she is drunk. She goes on and on about being ditched and she will not listen to Heather’s version of the events, otherwise known as the truth. Sonja starts eating cheese and farting around the kitchen .. . Everyone leaves . . . Way to clear a room out.

Carolina Street. Music, dancing and drinking. Sonja is “tripolar” according to Carole. Sonja is acting the cougar, going up to guys and kissing them while guzzling more booze. Shouldn’t we have an intervention for Sonja already? It takes a village to keep and eye on Sonja!

Next stop West 41st Street in Manhattan. Ramona and Avery are in the city. Ramona arranged for a driving instructor to give Avery a lesson there to be sure she knows how to drive everywhere. Avery parallel parks without a problem and Ramona is blown away. Then she tries it again and smacks the car behind her! Avery, Ramona and the instructor find funny. I am still trying to figure out why? I hope it was Ramona’s car.

Back to LuAnn and her charity event for breast cancer. The event is going to raise money by selling dresses. Kristen is modeling the dresses. Aviva drops by and Ramona looks surprised. Aviva was very shocked to see Miss USA there. Apparently George told Aviva that he and his girlfriend spent the night together with Miss USA.  WHAT???

Miss USA getting third degree by the Ramona Gossip Police

Aviva is seated next to Ramona for some brilliant reason. Maybe this is LuAnn’s idea of humor? LuAnn introduces her co-host from Hollywood Life. Heather gets a hilarious text from Aviva and starts laughing during a serious speech being made. Then Ramona and the others girls read the text and all start laughing. LuAnn is not pleased at their rude behavior. LuAnn introduces the “long dress” for bidding, and out comes a mystery guest wearing it. Carole and Aviva start bidding and it turns in to a competition. Carole says it’s win-win, Aviva overpays for the dress and can’t return it and the charity made more money. The mystery guest is an old RHONY, Kelly Bensimon. Sonja is starving. Aviva tells a story about Miss USA that George told her, which is hard to believe. Aviva makes George swear on her good leg that it’s the truth and says he is not a liar. Seriously, George is not a liar? Oh well. LuAnn is upset with Aviva for bringing up the Miss USA story. Carole, who doesn’t get sucked into any drama, is enjoying Kelly, it’s a nice change of pace. LuAnn is disappointed at Aviva’s behavior, it was shocking. Ramona, who has no class or tact, approaches Miss USA and drills her about her stay at Aviva’s. She interrogates her about what time she came, when she left and everything in between. Ramona tells her George is saying she stayed over his house. She laughs and denies it and thinks it’s funny. I think Miss USA wanted some television air time and went along with Bravo producers, to create yet another fabricated and totally unbelievable story, to get it.

Sonja is bragging to her intern about her sexcapades. She calls it a victory lap, some might call it the walk of shame. I call it sleazy and disgusting. It’s one thing to sleep around and another to brag about it constantly. Kristen comes over for a facial and Sonja says she is calling the guy from last night back after she leaves. The person giving the facials says LuAnn likes short French guys with fake French accents and she does whatever she wants. She likes to be in charge in bed, that’s why she likes short men. Sonja and Kristen find this hilarious. Sonja says that Russ, Carole’s ex, slept with her at St. Barth’s. Please! No one is going to believe Russ slept with Sonja. He was devoted to Carole at the time and barely had enough time to spend with her. Sonja is really making me sick.

LuAnn and Carole chat. LuAnn thinks Aviva invited Miss USA to the charity event, no one else knew her. Carole thinks Aviva creates all that sex talk to make herself more interesting. Kristen meets up with them. She tells them about her facial at Sonja’s. She fills them in on what the woman said. LuAnn laughs. All her men were tall, there was nothing small about Jacques. The woman said LuAnn cheated on Jacques and that makes LuAnn mad. Then Kristen tells them that Russ slept with Sonja while he was still with Carole. Carole says Sonja has an insatiable need for attention and doesn’t believe it. This show has slipped so far from “reality” it’s not funny.

Are you calling me a liar?

Am I my father's keeper?

It's a free country, I can text about my dad's sexcapades!

Who are you to talk? Your daughter makes art about sex!

Poor LuAnn doesn't have a prayer for a rational conversation.

Aviva is decorating her house with art and has invited the girls over to see some of the art. She wants her apartment to feature emerging artists, and that includes Lu’s daughter, Victoria. Kristen doesn’t get the point of this get together. Neither do I Kristen, but soon we will see what the producers have in mind. Aviva says she wants them all to discuss the artwork. Kristen is still confused and so am I. Ramona isn’t happy to be at Aviva’s, their history stinks and then add her experiences with George to top it off. So why does Ramona keep showing up? Kristen says the art is interesting, but there is no Elvis art so she can’t get into it. LuAnn is done with Aviva, she says she 100% crossed the line. Sonja is also there, probably to drink at the bar and snag a man. Aviva thinks all the girls are getting along and there is going to be no drama. Aviva must believe in fairy tales too. LuAnn is dying to see Victoria’s piece. Now, Lu takes the opportunity to talk to Aviva and asks her if she invited Miss USA to her event. Aviva says no. Lu doesn't believe her. Aviva says she is not a liar. Lu says she wouldn’t have thought of it except for Aviva's text message saying her father had a threesome with Miss USA. Aviva swears she did not invite that woman to her event. It makes no sense. Aviva gets her dander up because she doesn’t want to be called a liar. Aviva claims she was shocked when Miss USA walked in. Lu says she should be disgusted by her father’s actions, it’s gross. Aviva says she isn’t responsible for her father. Oh no . . . Aviva says LuAnn’s daughter is making art about sex. LuAnn is losing her patience and her mind trying to talk to Aviva. This conversation ends badly. Heather and LuAnn agree Aviva is a liar. Aviva said it was ok to share the text, and Heather did ask first. Then Aviva told everyone to check their text. It is a little sick that Aviva texts about her father’s threesomes anyway, don’t you think? She should stay totally out of his "affairs" and, at the very least, not broadcast them.

Now for a recap, let's get this all straight okay?

It's about the fact I didn't use a ghostwriter!

It's about calling me a liar!

It's about Carole insulting my writing!

It's about my NOT inviting Miss USA to your event!

It's about my giving Heather permission to share my sex text

about my Dad's menage a trois with everyone!

It's about the fact I am not my father's keeper, I just humor him.
It's about the sex in Victoria's art!

Get the f*ck off my back, B*tch!

Picture Credit: BRAVO

Real Housewives Of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E13

Sonja should have added her $2 to the pot

“Win, Place or Sonja” is the title of this trip to Saratoga Racetrack for more drama and horsing around. Why are we there? LuAnn decided it was a great idea for a girl’s trip and Lord knows, we have to have a girl’s trip every three weeks. The Bravo formula.

Aviva and Sonja check out Cody’s new ring. Cody, 24, owns a nail salon and is independent. Cody says George has a high sex drive and she enjoys him more than any other man she has known. George uses “equipment.” Sonja is intrigued because Cody says, “George knows a woman.” George doesn’t want her to have children until she is 35. Cody says she is doing well financially and is with George for George. Do you think George left her a little something in his will?

Kristen is looking for a hat for the Saratoga racetrack. LuAnn invited some of the girls to go to Saratoga with her. Kristen is excited to go. In pops Sonja, and Kristen plants a hat on her head. Sonja grew up 45 minutes from Saratoga so she feels like she is going back home. LuAnn arrives all hugs and smiles and starts trying on hats too. This must be the season of hats? Sonja says, “LuAnn has a head the size of a pumpkin, let’s face it.” Does size matter when it comes to heads?

Aviva and her husband arrive at the Museum of Sex. She thinks it’s the obvious choice for her father’s engagement party. If that doesn’t encourage his bad behavior, what will?  Mario and Ramona are in the gift shop and Mario is “whipping” Ramona into shape. Carole is there too, even though she and Aviva are not really on good terms. Ramona says she has to tolerate George even though he is strange. George and Cody, the lovely couple, walk through the door. Ramona is immediately creeped out. George introduces himself to Kristen, who has already heard how everyone has been molested by George. Then she realizes George has a hand on her breast. I guess it takes Kristen a while to catch on? Ramona tells Cody to get her ring appraised and insured right away, and she approves of George’s fiancée. But Ramona can’t leave it at that. She wants to know what is the attraction. Cody says it’s the intellect and sex. Even though Sonja expressly warned Ramona not to bring up the parents, Ramona can’t help herself. Within the first two minutes of meeting her, Ramona brings up Cody’s parents who just died, and made her cry. Aviva tells her father that Ramona said something to Cody like she has no parents. George gets outraged. Aviva tries to calm him down. As usual Ramona flees the scene like a hit and run driver. Cody is offended by Ramona’s questions and comments. Kristen thinks it was typical and rude of Ramona. Aviva makes a speech and gets emotional when she brings up her mother. Aviva is keeping an open mind about the engagement to support her father.

Sonja and Lu are going for a bike ride and picnic to reconnect. Sonja sounds constipated as she grunts and groans going up hill. Sonja’s bike falls over, but the bottle of wine doesn’t break! LuAnn asks about the engagement party and George. She tells her Cody is 24 and he is in his eighties. Everything was fine until Ramona got there asking Cody questions after Sonja told her not to ask her about her parents. LuAnn tells Sonja she value her friendship with Ramona more than her friendship with her. Sonja kind of disagrees. Saratoga comes up  and we learn there will be No Ramona and No Aviva at Saratoga! Great.

LuAnn’s rental in Saratoga. LuAnn loves to go to the races, wear dresses and hats and enjoy the nightlife. LuAnn, Sonja, Carole, Kristen, and Heather are all dressed in dresses and hats. It’s 10 am and Sonja is already drinking hard liquor! Go figure.

Now I'm racist?

Ramona pops in on Aviva with some flowers, to apologize for making Cody cry. Ramona tells Aviva that Cody is vulnerable right now. A young girl with no parents. So she thinks maybe Cody is prey to an older man. Aviva says she asked her every question in the book and Cody is very happy. Just then George pops in for a visit. Wouldn’t you know it? Ramona isn’t pleased. George brings up Ramona’s charity event from last season. He says he screwed up and apologizes. So Ramona apologizes for making Cody cry. Ramona advises him if he really loves Cody he should let her go and find a man closer to her age. Ramona calls George lecherous and Aviva doesn’t think that was nice. I hate to agree with Ramona, but George is certainly lecherous (expressing lewdness and lust in a distasteful way) and he is even more offensive. George implies Ramona is a racist and made Cody feel like a turd. Ramona says the girl is 55 years younger than him. Ramona adds if her parents were alive they would do anything to get Cody away from George. Aviva says Cody wants to freeze George’s sperm to use one day. George gets very vulgar with Ramona, so much so I can’t make out what he is even saying and neither can Aviva.  Ramona leaves. Maybe lecherous was putting it mildly?

Sonja's drunken rant!

Saratoga Springs! Sonja loves it. They chat with the jockey who won last year’s Kentucky Derby. Sonja flirts with the man who is half her size. Carole, who finds a silver lining in everything, says “the shorter the guy the longer his penis seems.” Good to know. The ladies are discussing the racing form and betting on horses, but Kristen is totally lost. Now they want to box a bet so if the horses come out in any order they still win. Heather thinks Sonja is a know it all. They act like they have to pool their money and bet all together when they can make their own bets. LuAnn laughs at Sonja’s two dollar bet. Sonja is sure they will be sorry when they lose. Then the race begins and horses 2-5-7 cross the finish line! Lots of screaming for those horses. Kristen is beside herself because they won. Sonja didn’t bet with them and they hit the jackpot. It’s a $3,340 win! Out comes the champagne! Sonja walks off by herself while they divide the loot. They text her, no response. Sonja went and found a man to talk to. What else is new? They leave her there and go back to the rental. They get dressed to go out and celebrate their winnings. Sonja comes back crying that they always ditch her. LuAnn tells her lets go downstairs and have some fun. Sonja is going on and on about how they left her. Sonja is clearly drunk. Heather is trying to reason with her and Kristen goes to rescue Heather. Kristen tries talking to Sonja, she is worried. Heather feels they texted Sonja and she didn’t answer, so it’s on her. Sonja is now taking it out her issues on Kristen and gets up in her face. Kristen can’t get through to Sonja and Sonja tells her to go f*ck herself, nice. I think Sonja is a sore loser, period. Sonja talks to herself in the mirror, finally someone she agrees with.  Then Sonja comes downstairs with her luggage to go to the airport. ta ta.

Now I am off to read Carole's blog, the best in the bunch!

Picture Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E11

Still at the Berkshires, the ladies plan Ramona's intervention!

“The Ramona Trap” is the title of this week’s episode. Do you think they mean “trap” as in mouth and someone will tell her to “shut her trap?” No, this is about the ladies confronting Ramona on her bad behavior. Not sure I am ready for the drama. In any case it’s very hard to blog nonsense, which is what this show is all about.

We are still in the Berkshires, can you believe this? It’s morning and they all look hung over. Kristen looks pretty good for the wear. Sonja goes back to sleep. The perky yoga instructor shows up. Sonja says LuAnn looks pretty banged up and, of course, LuAnn is annoyed. Who is more banged up than Sonja? Everyone goes outside for yoga at 9 am, even Sonja, who wouldn’t dare be left out of television air time. Carole only likes two poses and she is sticking with them. Sonja is inventing her own kind of yoga. I wish I could ask Heather who the hell plans yoga at 9 am for guests you know love to drink the night away?

Carole is doing a photo shoot for a magazine. She is also writing a piece on manners for Town and Country and she needs tips from LuAnn, the Queen of manners and etiquette. Carole has one sentence so far. What do you bring a hostess at a party? Wine or a candle. I read Carole’s finished article and I recommend it. Carole is witty and I love her writing style, however some of her gift ideas are not for the everyday housewife. She is a little out of touch. I find that is the case with many “rich” people.  LINK to article.

Kristen meets Heather at Central Park with her son, Cash. They rehash Ramona’s glass throwing, anger and lying issues. Heather says they are doing the intervention at dinner tonight. Heather thinks it’s an issue of anger management. Heather says Ramona lied to get away from the Berkshires. So overall Ramona’s behavior is totally unacceptable. Kristen says she isn’t ready to see Ramona, so she won’t go. Maybe she wants her lip to heal before Ramona throws something else at her face?

Ramona is boxed in by linebacker LuAnn!

The confrontation dinner! LuAnn says they devised a plan to trap Ramona in her seat so she can’t leave. They have a u-shaped booth and they manipulate the situation so Ramona has to sit on the inside, not on the end. Everyone but Kristen is there. LuAnn is to the right of Ramona and, like a football player, she will block her from leaving. LuAnn asks about the Hamptons and the Molly Sims party. Ramona looks shocked then rolls her big eyes. LuAnn says Ramona left the Berkshires so she could go to a party. Sonja confronts Ramona about lying. Heather says it was hurtful that she left her house when she went to a lot of trouble planning a nice weekend. They think the whole childhood theatrics was a fabricated elaborate ploy to avoid telling the truth . . . she had a party to go to. Ramona  thinks Sonja is pissy because she wasn’t invited to the party.

These b*tches are ganging up on me. F*ck them!

Ramona starts crying and holding her head. Everyone is ganging up on her. Ramona starts dropping “F” bombs and says she is leaving. She gets out of control and wants to get out of the booth. Carole tells her she should have been honest about why she was leaving. Ramona is talking nonstop and not listening to a word anyone is saying. Ramona is still crying about her childhood memories. Sonja says if Ramona has post traumatic stress she sure gets over it quickly. Ramona says she wanted to get out of the Berkshires, she wasn’t comfortable there. Now  Ramona admits she needs help dealing with her past.  She says she needs therapy just to shut them up and so she can get out of there.

At Kristen’s house her 17 month old daughter, Kingsley, isn’t walking yet. Her husband comes home in the middle of the day. Kristen asked him to do some therapy with Kingsley. She wants him to see what’s involved. He complains how hard it is for him to take 2 hours out from work, but he did it so Kristen will stop busting his chops. Nice. Meanwhile he is on the phone the entire therapy session. Kristen is annoyed and rightly so. Then he steps outside to take a call. Kristen gets up to confront him. He says he will be in in a minute. The therapist leaves and Kristen tries to explain that she needed his undivided attention. He feels harassed. He has pressure from his job so he can’t be home for everything. He has a demanding job with little flexibility. He says he doesn’t come home because there is never any food on the table. Now, that’s hitting below the belt! I think Kristen and Josh need to be on Dr. Phil. I can almost see them having their own reality show like Tori and Dean.

Who the hell is buying this?

Ramona is working out after her “blow-out,” how odd.  Mario walks in and she stops the workout and immediately switches to wine drinking, her favorite sport. She tells him about her dinner intervention and what happened at the Berkshires. She turned herself into the “victim.” She says she and Mario are married 21 years and have a successful marriage . . . what happened to his cheating and baby out of wedlock? It was all over the tabloids for months and they aren’t mentioning it on the show? That’s a storyline! I don’t care if it’s real or fake, it’s better that glass throwing and Ramona can play victim legitimately.

Sonja says the word “brand” and a pain shoots through my brain . . .  and says she doesn’t go over the top. What??? Everything Sonja does is over the top. Sonja and her interns are setting a table for the people who are going to discuss her brand. Oy Vey, I am glad this scene went nowhere.

I have a tendency to talk too much . . . 

did you know 76% of women fake orgasms?

LuAnn arranged a double date for her and Jacques and Carole and her friend, Neil. Carole is a little nervous. She is afraid she will talk too much and wants LuAnn to let her know if she does. She asks how old he is, he says 52. “That’s a lovely age.” Carole likes older men. The whole time Carole keeps asking if she is talking too much. She advises them that “76% of woman fake orgasms.“ Carole is really screwing up this date. I can’t wait to read her blog and get her take on it.

"No more throwing objects at people's faces, Ramona!"

Kristen is meeting Ramona for tea. Ramona invited her so we’ll see if an apology is forthcoming. Ramona thanks her for coming and says she feels terrible for what happened. She apologizes profusely. Kristen started feeling better about the situation. But she can’t get over the fact that Ramona threw something at her face twice in a few weeks? Then she asks Ramona if she is drinking too much or has anger management issues. Ramona is clearly getting annoyed now. Kristen thinks she should get help, she has issues. Ramona says she is leaving in a minute. Kristen made a trip there, from uptown,  for nothing, Ramona is always looking at her clock and running off. At least Ramona is remorseful. Kristen leaves. You get the feeling this whole apology was really a waste of time.

Picture Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6E4

Sonja's top is just a little loose, oops.

They are calling this episode “Holla in The Hamptons,” which makes me think it’s about Heather, but who cares? I want to see more about Ghostwriter/Book-Gate!

Sonja is late for her burlesque rehearsal. What the hell is she thinking? She says she is hosting a show for charity but really, is she serious? She is screaming like every move is causing her pain…maybe she is too old for this activity? All the others seem to humor her. It reminds me of the kid’s story, The Emperor’s New Clothes, where no one wants to tell him he is naked and ridiculous.

Carole and Kristen drive to the Hamptons, and Carole is not a fan of the Hamptons but wants to support Sonja. The ladies, Carole, Heather and Kristen, are on the beach with a bunch of young surfing instructors. They have a hell of a time getting into their wetsuits. Heather and Kristen seem to be surfing pretty well, but Carole just can’t stand up on the board. However, she did enjoy her 19 year old instructor Charlie and she didn’t drown.

Carole got out there, it's more than I would do!

Sonja is driving to the Hamptons with a car-full of interns, the kind who aren’t smart enough to open a door when a guest rings the bell. Even Kristen suggests Sonja should get one competent intern and maybe even pay them, rather than have an entourage of ignoramuses. The Mercedes seems to be falling apart so they have to stop. Sonja is not at all prepared for her performance tomorrow. Big surprise. She doesn’t know what she will wear, what she will perform, or what she is doing. Ramona is in Africa on vacation, so she is no help. She decides to use vintage 1920’s costumes and she throws something together because she is too cheap to buy a real costume. They sold 500 tickets for this event, can you imagine? Sonja decides she doesn’t want the professional girls behind her for the show, she will do the show alone. She clearly doesn’t know what she is doing, but she’ll do it all alone. Great idea.

Harry must have something, 

but I'll be damned if I know what it is.

Sidebar: Kristen doesn’t get Harry’s appeal. Thank goodness someone else is on the same page as I am. Basically, she disses his looks. I find myself agreeing with Kristen more and more…maybe she is the “smart” one?

Luann and Aviva are paired up…because they both have a strong dislike for Carole. Heather greets Luann. This girl Amanda is in the mix and seems to be irking everyone by intruding into their group. Aviva is “catching Luann up to speed.” The good news is she made up with Ramona, the bad news is she is at war with Carole. Luann can understand that because Carole never had a good thing to say about her. Luann and Aviva are BFFs now...or at least for a minute…or until Luann writes a book.

BFF's until next week?

The seating arrangements are a bit off. Sonja must have a sense of humor putting Carole next to Aviva. Carole was not going to sit next to Aviva, so she and Heather find better seats.

Sonja walks out on stage. There is a wardrobe malfunction almost immediately. I don’t think she filled up her costume very well and was putting on more than a burlesque show. Heather is increasingly annoyed with the rudeness of Amanda, who is talking throughout the show. Carole comments on the show saying, “there is a cringe factor, it’s not Moulin Rouge…but it’s Sonja Morgan.” I’m not as nice as Carole. I think the show was beyond pathetic…maybe I just don’t get burlesque or Sonja?

Amanda: Not the best image I've ever seen!

Amanda turns out to be an image consultant and Aviva’s friend…who is rumored to have been brought in by BRAVO to help Aviva…but the other girls don’t like her. I don’t like her either, so maybe she needs to overhaul her own image? Just sayin’.

Sidebar: I sit here, through all this, patiently waiting for a Ghostwriter-Gate brawl! Bring it!

Luann’s house in the Hamptons…they are grilling steaks. Amanda shows up “like a bad rash” says Sonja, “every time Harry is around.” All the ladies and spouses are there. Can Carole and Aviva avoid each other? Heather dislikes Amanda, she was rude at Sonja’s show and now she wants to “crawl up her ass.” Carole feels awkward at Luann’s house since their past was a little hostile. Carole wants to clear the air and apologize for some of the things she said in the past. Carole and Luann make amends and move forward. They hug. So now what? Luann can’t be Aviva’s BFF?

Who said what? Damned if I know.

Aviva says she was called seven names by Carole, and Sonja can’t imagine it. Sonja supports Aviva about her book. Kristen thinks the whole thing should be let go.  Luann is dumbfounded. Heather and Carole pop into the conversation. Heather says Aviva won’t own what she said. Aviva says Heather threatened her. Heather says Aviva character assassinates everyone and she isn‘t going to be next. Everyone starts talking all at once! Who the hell knows what they are saying? Luann breaks it all up and says they are going to leave Carole and Aviva alone to talk. But they don’t. Luann felt totally out of control in her own house. Amanda continues to irritate the others. She wants to deck Heather. Heather tells her to bring it on! Holla!

Next week more Book-Gate, the story line that keeps on giving! They even drop “F” Bombs, like Mob Wives! Now this I can relate to!

All in all , not a worthwhile episode. How fitting for April Fool’s Day.

Picture Credit: BRAVO

Real Housewives Of New York: What The Hell Moments? S6Ep3

 The real writer

Episode three is titled, “Model Behavior,” and that points to new housewife, Kristen.
But I say who cares? Right now I want to see more about Ghostwriter-Gate!

And my wish is granted! The fight continues where it left off, at Aviva’s party. Aviva still insists, or should I say lies, that she didn’t hire a ghostwriter. Her blog says she used a “village." The cover of her book doesn't say written by Aviva Drescher and The Village People. And Aviva says, “word on the street,” is Carole used a ghostwriter for What Remains? What street is Aviva walking on? Carole quips “word on the street” must be dialogue from a bad cop movie Aviva saw and Aviva “doesn‘t have a leg to stand on.” Carole, the real writer, works closely with her editor, period. Ramona and Mario manage to sneak out of the party, like thieves in the night, after Ramona starts the whole fight by telling Carole that Aviva was talking about her. Aviva says to Carole, “at least I’m not 50 years old.” True, Aviva is not 50...she is 46, so not very far from it. However, she still seems to have a bit of dementia even at 46 because, in a recent interview of February 14th, Aviva thinks she is still 40 or is lying again. That’s at least two lies she has been caught in. You know what Judge Judy says, “If you are caught in one lie, I don’t believe anything else you have to say.” Here is the excerpt:

“What made you decide to finally want to share your story and why is now the right time to tell it?

Well, I turned 40, and I think that at 40-years-old, you start to think about a lot of things in your life and you get a certain kind of sense of security and maturity about yourself – especially if you have children. It’s a time where you really start to officially grow up, and my growing up meant that I was done hiding. I’m done being ashamed of wearing a prosthesis.

There comes a point where you come to full acceptance – hopefully – in your lifetime. I felt ready at 40, and with the show falling in my lap, I felt that was an opportunity to do it. And I couldn’t just put it out a little bit because everything is so full force on the show.

It was a combination of being 40, having 4 children, feeling like a mamma bear, and feeling like a real complete grownup who was self-aware and secure. So it was important for me to come onto the show without really having anything to be ashamed of. Because I think that when you go on a reality show, you can’t really have any skeletons in your closet.” For the entire interview read Aviva's Interview here.

The fake writer (liar)

Carole once referred to Aviva as the “Benjamin Button of housewives,” because she just keeps getting younger…another one of my favorite quotes of hers. By the way, if you are going to read one housewife blog, read Carole’s. Her sense of humor is entertaining and enhances the enjoyment of the show.

Carole says Aviva is out of touch with reality, a sociopath. Aviva says it takes a village to write a book (she should know) and she thinks Carole is lying. I think we all know who the liar is, and it’s not Carole.  Sonja seems to be siding with Aviva, while Heather has Carole‘s back…and Kristen is caught in the middle. Carole decides to leave the party after telling Reid that his wife is not a nice person. Carole exits but not without a fond farewell to Harry Dubin, “Harry it’s great to meet you, I totally understand your divorce.”

Later, Ramona confesses to Heather that she ran out of the party. Heather says she can’t understand Aviva, her behavior was despicable and she doesn’t trust her as far as she can throw her. But Ramona seems to have an issue with Heather defending Carole. Hmmm, I don’t get why, she was the one who ran to Carole to tell her Aviva was telling everyone she used a ghostwriter. Ramona is a little sneaky.

Carole, in a calmer state, knows she shouldn’t have let Aviva get under her skin, but found it felt good to scream and she will probably do it more often. Good for her, these women make me scream every week.

Kristen and Aviva chat about the argument. Kristen says that Carole has a writing background. Aviva, gets snooty and says she also has a writing background she majored in English and wrote an essay. Wow, an essay for Chicken Soup for the Soul versus and 20 year career as a journalist and best selling author…yeah that’s about even. Kristen says she thinks it’s about jealousy. Kristen adds writing is Carole’s “everything” and it shouldn’t be messed with. Kristen gets it too.

Even Ramona "gets it."

Carole thinks Ramona is being used as Aviva’s little pawn. Ramona apologizes for setting the fight in motion. Carole says she was upset with Ramona and doesn’t know why she was in the middle of it. Aviva was talking about her in the other room knowing Carole was at the party. I think Carole felt blindsided and betrayed. Carole tells Ramona what she thinks of Aviva, the liar. Carole explains to Ramona that what Aviva said was about her first book which is about her late husband, and she has no children, so it’s all she has. Carole gets emotional. Ramona understands that for Carole, her work is everything. Even Ramona gets it.

You know, last season I sided with all the new wives because I was new as a viewer of the show. I tried to defend Aviva, when most other blogs tore her apart. But this is a new season and I am seeing a new side to Aviva that I don’t like. I have no patience for liars. Those of you who read my Mob Wives blogs know how hard I came down on Carla and Alicia for blatantly lying on and off the show. So, I am sorry to say that Aviva lost any support she had from me. She continues to slander Carole’s impressive, long-standing career as a writer and in the process makes herself look more ridiculous, jealous and petty. How could this kind of behavior on the show help the sale of her book? I mean, that’s the whole purpose right? To get people talking about her book so they will buy it? Frankly, it sounds like everyone, except Aviva, wrote her book. I think Aviva has succeeded in turning people off to her book, and despite her lies about Carole’s books, she has managed to create an interest in them…at least for me.

Here is a little song dedicated to Aviva…(Good-bye) Leggy Bonde…

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments, Ep 601

Meet "Baby" Ben and Kristen

If you are looking forward to reading WTH Moments…STOP now…there were none.

If you missed the show, and want to save an hour of your life CONTINUE…

The title of the premiere episode of season six is, “If You Can Make It Here.” It should have been called, “If You Can Stay Awake.” The whole episode involved some carried- over hard feelings from last season and an introduction to Kristen, “the model wife.”

Everyone seems to be harboring some ill will towards Aviva. Carole tells Heather she has been distancing herself from Aviva and her craziness. Heather seems inclined to agree. Ramona tells Sonja she ran into Aviva and Reed at a charity event and didn’t bother talking to them. Sonja seems sympathetic. Why is everyone against Aviva right from the start? She had her moments, but at least she wasn’t naked and drunk all of season 5.

Heather’s Birthday Party is the big event. Sonja is dating “Baby” Ben and tells Ramona not to discuss age. Age is just a number says Sonja, and Sonja’s number is about 50. Eventually someone leaks the boy’s age. “Baby” Ben is 23.  I guess that could be a WTH moment. After all, what young man would want to date someone who could clearly be his mother? I’d freak out over it right now, except I think this is scripted so we will raised our eyebrows. “Baby” Ben was probably promoted to “date status” from the intern pool. Heather and Carole are still BFF’s. The new wife, Kristen, is a real model. She struts around the party and introduces herself to “Baby” Ben. Sonja is suddenly “jealous.” Kristen is a knockout according to “Baby” Ben. So “Baby” Ben IS attracted to young women…I thought he had an age fetish. Kristen’s husband, Josh, used to work with Heather. That must be how Andy found Kristen for the show.

Aviva and Reed are headed over to Heather’s, and Aviva is concerned about how Ramona will react when she sees her, since they didn’t part on good terms. Kristen, who is trying to size everyone up, says Ramona and Sonja remind her of  “crazy drunk aunts.” Kristen’s first impression is on the money. Wait till she sees them naked too. Kristen and Aviva meet briefly. Carole still wants to keep a friendly distance with Aviva. Aviva talks to Sonja about Harry, but Sonja has “Baby” Ben right there and isn‘t thrilled. Aviva tells Sonja she wants to patch things up with Ramona. Carole decides to go over to say hello to Aviva. Aviva, excited about her new book, wants Carole’s advice with the memoir she is writing.  Carole finds that off putting because Aviva barely said hello before asking her for help. Kristen seems to get along well with Carole. Aviva sees an opportunity to go over and talk to Ramona. Aviva asks for a hug, Ramona isn’t ready for it. Aviva tries to mend fences in her own way. Ramona says she found Aviva insincere so maybe she can accept her apology, but cannot accept her as a person. Ramona wants no part of her, but Aviva doesn’t get it. Ramona says she can’t trust her and wants her to show her “the real Aviva.” Aviva kind of gives up for the moment, and walks away without ruffling Ramona‘s feathers.

Later, Aviva calls Ramona. She wants to meet for cocktails, one on one, but Ramona has reservations. Ramona says she doesn’t know how to be a faker…she tells Aviva she wants to think about it. Aviva says okay and doesn‘t push her.

Ding Dong, Can someone answer the door?

Sonja has the girls over for tea. While she puts on her makeup none of her dozen interns is answering the door. First Ramona arrives and when there is no answer, she walks right in. Then Kristen arrives and politely waits for someone to let her in, which takes some time. Ramona notices holes in Sonja’s carpet…apparently the rug in Sonja’s house is older than her “boyfriend.” Kristen, still in the observation stage, can’t figure out their (Ramona & Sonja) friendship. I guess new wives don’t bother to watch previous seasons of the show before throwing themselves into the lion’s den? Ramona tells everyone about Aviva’s phone call. Kristen is not impressed with their behavior. Next, they start telling her Aviva’s life story. Kristen looks confused. She says if this is how they act towards friends, she doesn’t want to be their enemy. Smart cookie! Suddenly, Sonja thinks Ramona should meet with Aviva. Sonja says she has let go of the past. Kristen says she thinks Aviva is really trying to make amends. Ramona can forgive, but not forget. Everyone wants her to make up with Aviva. Reluctantly, Ramona goes along with it because if the “girls” think it’s a good idea then why not?

Ramona meets Aviva for drinks. Aviva tells her she looks amazing. She rambles a bit about Ramona’s hair looking “whiter” and very nice. The compliments are working. Ramona says Aviva is a “charmer.” Aviva suggests they have a shot of tequila. No argument from Ramona. They cheers and drink up. Aviva didn’t think the shot was a big deal. Aviva doesn’t like to drink, but if it will make Ramona happy, she will do it. Aviva knows the way to Ramona’s heart. Ramona wants to know why is Aviva just now interested in making up? Aviva explains that she feels she overreacted when she thought Reed was being attacked on the girls’ vacation. Ramona admits she is enjoying herself with Aviva. Ramona calls her a freakin’ witch and Aviva good humouredly toasts to Aviva the witch.

Sorry, that’s the best  could do with the lack of drama this week. If I hadn’t taken to time to write a few notes, not sure I would have remembered anything this morning. I think I would have enjoyed watching the trailer 12 times, instead of episode 1. Let’s see where this goes next week.

If you missed it or want to rewatch the premiere, here is the link: RHONY Premiere

Real Housewives of New York: To Blog or NOT To Blog…

Heather says to Aviva, "Don't tell me anything Mother F*cker!"

Aviva answers, "Did you learn that in prison?"

…that is the question. Tonight is the premiere of the RHONY and I have decided, after seeing the trailer for season 6, to try and blog the show from the start. I see there is a lot of drama previewed and drama leads to the “What The Hell Moments” that I love to poke fun at. For example, who hasn’t seen Aviva’s leg laying out on the floor and then wondered how the hell did it get there?

Aviva's Leg all decked out in her Jimmy Choo shoe!

Now don’t look for a serious, full time following of the RHONY, because I am not going to be following their every move on and off the set. For full-time blogging of the Real Housewives franchise you will need to go to another blog, my first choice being Stoopidhousewives, she leaves no stone unturned.

Having said all that, I am going to recap season 5 from memory, so don’t count on much. You should know I tend to favor the “new” wives because I am a new viewer and they appeal to me more than the “old” blood. Where did we leave off? Carole was the level headed, calm wife who agreed to do the show probably in hopes of it helping promote her new book, “The Widow’s Guide To Sex and Dating.” She spent a lot of her airtime trying to diffuse emotional situations that came up all season. My favorite line of hers was about LuAnn, when she described her as having a case of “Royal Tourette’s Syndrome.” LuAnn was so in love with Jacques that they were trying to have a baby. That must be the new trend for 50 something wives, to have midlife crises and want babies? However, I don’t think she and Jacques are a couple any more, so maybe she will have her chance with the “Johnny Depp” pirate now? Heather, the serious business woman, had her patience tested by Sonja, when she offered her help in branding and marketing her “toaster oven.” What the hell is a toaster oven? It was an appliance that Wilma Flintstone used once upon a time. Sonja was very demanding and ungrateful, causing Heather to have a little meltdown (and I don’t blame her) for making her waste time. Sonja…what can I say about her? To say I hate her burlesque performances would be an understatement. I think they make her look totally ridiculous, but that may be the look she is going for. On top of that, I find it hard to watch her drink and get naked every chance she gets. It seems like a pathetic way to get attention and assure herself a slot in next season’s cast. Now as for Aviva, I started out making plenty of jokes about her because she said she didn’t want the focus to be on her prosthetic leg and yet she told the story of her childhood accident to anyone who would listen. The leg took on a life of it’s own, and I started to think of it as another cast member because it got so much airtime. I look forward to her leg’s debut this season since it seems to have put it’s best foot forward. Aviva also has a new book that her leg can help her promote, appropriately called, “Leggy Blonde.”  Ramona, Ramona, Ramona…my least favorite NY housewife, is a drama queen. She creates hysteria at a moments notice. Remember when Aviva wanted to go in the pool and Ramona made a huge fuss over Aviva’s leg getting wet? I can do without the Pinot, the slurred words, the cuddling with Sonja…in my opinion, she is the most ridiculous one in the cast and seems to want to top herself every season. I hear she has a new red wine out, maybe we’ll hear more about that this season? Oh, and maybe there will be some Mario drama since he allegedly stepped out on their marriage and supposedly fathered a child with a younger woman? Now that’s a storyline!

This season we have a new addition to the cast, Kristen Taekman, a model and business woman. I don’t know anything about her at this point except she does look beautiful.

If you watch the trailer for season 6 it appears that there is plenty of drama, some unexpected outbursts, and they are throwing the word “liar” around an awful lot.  Looks like Andy is turning up the heat for ratings! Check it out.

Picture and Video Credit Bravo

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Real Housewives of New York: Reunion Part 1 S5 E19

In this corner, we have the NEW Wives!

In this corner we have the OLD wives

Let the games begin! 

New wives against the old wives! As expected, Andy has the new wives sitting together on one couch and the old wives assemble on the other. That’s pretty predictable since we can no longer have the blondes against the brunettes. Now, let’s rehash every single argument in season 5 and see where the hell it gets us!

Royal Wars are first topic. I think that LuAnn was always put off by the fact that Carole royally outranked her, from day one. It was inevitable that this royal jealousy was going to lead to issues. First there was the Native American vs Indian war. Carole took that politically incorrect comment very seriously and made a snide remark that even third graders know better than to use the term Indian. LuAnn believes it is her right to use the derogatory term, since she is part Native American. I side with Carole on this issue, and we refer you back to LuAnn’s song “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” which may be the most fundamental truth LuAnn has ever said…even if it was in a tacky, classless video. 

Second royal argument revolved around Carole’s designer friend, Ranjana, and LuAnn’s borrowing of the clothes and jewelry. No one ever let’s Carole explain herself because they shout her down, so the other women have to explain it for her. Aviva saves the day, as her explanation is understood by all. What the hell is so hard to understand? Carole was pissed because LuAnn, the opportunist, took advantage of Carole’s friendship with Ranjana, to impose on her and ask to borrow things. Did Ranjana offer? Probably yes, because when LuAnn paid Ranjana a compliment, it was the polite thing for Ranjana to do. People say things out of politeness that they don’t expect you to necessarily take them up on. Carole felt that LuAnn crossed a line. You don’t impose on strangers and other people’s friends. Once again LuAnn demonstrates her lack of class. I side with Carole on this issue. 

I was a Countess before you were even born, Carole!

Then there was the Princess vs. Countess title war. LuAnn says Carole threw her title around. Wrong. Carole never mentions she is a princess. Never. I have to remind myself that she is a princess every once in a while. LuAnn, on the other hand, never forgets that Carole is a princess. She probably has nightmares about being royally replaced. So in her little warped mind, she hears Carole saying the word “princess,” when in fact she never does. This is in direct contrast to the first four seasons of RONY, when LuAnn made sure everyone and their mother knew she retained her “Countess” title. Luann is definitely green with envy. I side with Carole.

I never say I'm a princess, if anything I'm an American or a peasant!

Next issue, Harry Dublin. Yes, everyone loves Harry…just don’t ask me why. Have you seen him? Yes, I guess if you are a fan you have. Harry is Aviva’s ex-husband who has managed to sleep with two of the other housewives…what the hell are the odds of that? Aviva doesn’t like it that Sonja keeps bringing up Harry, she has legal issues with him. For the sake  of THE CHILDREN can we please stop bringing up ex-husbands already! I agree with Aviva, enough of Harry!

You know what? Unless you walk a mile in my shoe, you won't know

how it feels, so shut the hell up!

From there we move on to Aviva’s leg and phobias. No one appeared sympathetic to her story and it’s lifelong consequences. Everyone felt that for someone who wanted to be treated like everyone else and not have her leg brought up, Aviva talked about it the most. I will agree there was entirely too much referencing to the leg story. We heard it so many times I almost felt like it happened to me! I even said in earlier blogs that the “leg” should be the 7th housewife because it took on a life of it’s own. As for the phobias, Aviva has way too many of them. It affects her relationships. When you have phobias and anxiety it is with you 24/7, you can’t escape them.  Do you think that maybe BRAVO selected Aviva because her leg and phobias might create drama? No, that couldn’t be it, could it? I can almost hear Andy whispering, let’s go with Aviva this season and have her rehash her story over and over…you know Ramona, Pinot and Sonja will have a field day with that! Everyone jumped down Aviva’s throat for a false apology…HELLO, Ramona has made a dozen of those herself! Let’s keep it real shall we? I side with Aviva, if only because I am tired of a Pinot-soaked Ramona!

Ramona, you made my life a living hell before London, why 

in the world would I invite you? Holla!

Ramona is still upset Heather didn’t invite her to London, boo hoo. Heather says she made the right decision and would do it again. Heather makes her case, they weren’t getting a long, Ramona has a big, uncensored mouth, it was a business trip. No time for drama on the trip, so Ramona carried on and on and on before the trip. Heather, I side with you…the further away from Ramona, the better. Holla!

What are you thinking Aviva? Only my Ramona is allowed to

make insincere apologies...geez!

Of course the three episode trip to St. Barth’s was going to be the finale’s finale! Once again the “white trash” comment comes up and apparently Reid’s “overweight cougars” comment does too. I think Aviva could have come up with something better to call them. How about inebriated, classless, attention seeking exhibitionists? That would put her education to good use and be more accurate. So Aviva apologizes again, but Ramona and Sonja aren’t having it because they claim Aviva talks behind their backs in blogs and on twitter. Guess what? Ramona said plenty of disparaging things behind Aviva’s back. I don’t follow Sonja so I can’t comment on her. There are two sets of rules for this show, one for the old wives and one for the new wives. The old wives think that by virtue of seniority, they can say and do anything they please and get a pass, while the new wives have to walk a fine line and not cross it. I think, for the most part, they gave as good as they got, considering they have no experience in warfare. 

These Reunions always make me want to gag myself!

Can’t wait for part two of the Reunion next week. By the way, all the women looked lovely…now if only they would act that way. 

Picture Credit: BRAVO

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S5E18 Finale

Ramona not too happy at ping pong event!

The whole episode was a What The Hell Moment! How many charity events did we see again…two, three? They used charity events and parties to rehash every argument in the whole season? Whose bright idea was that I wonder? Will anyone take credit for it? I have to seriously question anyone’s intention to do “good” for a charity when it’s set up from the beginning to be sabotaged, or at least potentially disrupted, by old drama and new arguments.

Let’s see, where should I start? Carole’s pin pong charity event. I don’t know what Aviva was thinking bringing George to the ping pong event knowing that Ramona would probably be there. George, who I guess was prompted by Bravo producers, made his way over to Ramona and Mario, to have his say. As much as I dislike Mario, he handled the situation well. Ramona, on the other hand, looked like she was literally going to explode. And this is the perfect time to rehash an old argument, the falling out between Aviva and Ramona, which was supposed to be about Ramona calling Harry for information, but became about George “manhandling” Ramona (new argument)! Ramona flipped the script. Maybe they will delve into the Harry phone call on the Reunion Show? I hope they invite Harry!

Loud and obnoxious? Oh, and drinking...again.

Next we have the Yummy Tummy fashion event for charity. Now I generally do not write much about Heather, but I have a comment or two this week. Yes, good for her for telling Aviva she has heard enough about Ramona! However, she has had several issues with Ramona and Sonja, told them off several times, and last night was no exception. Why the hell were Ramona and Sonja talking about the toaster oven again? Ramona and Sonja were incredibly rude when they were yakking it up during the runway show (new argument). Loud and obnoxious doesn’t even begin to cover it. They give new meaning to those words. Were they drinking before and during the show? You bet!

How many drinks have they had now? 

Sonja, the ingrate, still complaining about Heather's free help!

Meanwhile it’s time to rehash the old toaster oven argument. Sonja, the ingrate, wanted even more free pictures than she got, and she isn’t too shy to mention it to Heather. Heather has had it, but even when she is angry, she remains cool and level headed. I wonder if another season with these women will change her into a raving lunatic? Can anyone tell me when was the last time you bought a toaster oven anyway?  I hear that the boxes are now ready, thanks to Heather, but the toaster ovens are not? I think Heather should join forces with Aviva, since they are on the same page about Ramona and Sonja, and battle it out with the drunken duo.

Heather wants Aviva to stop mentioning Ramona, but

she has her own ongoing issues with her!

And finally, we have Carole’s book party! What’s a party without and argument, right? Aviva and Ramona rehash the ejection of George from Ramona’s event last week. I have to say, I think Aviva was way over the top defending her dad, but Ramona would drive me to extremes too. Eventually, Aviva asks Carole, the epitome of class and grace, if it was wrong of Ramona to throw her father out? Carole, who no one ever listens to, says “yes, it was wrong” at least a couple of times. No argument from Ramona? Carole is the only one allowed to say what she wants because her royalty out ranks everyone. Can you argue with a princess about manners? But, Ramona quickly defends her silence on the subject by saying, of course Carole was just trying to appease a crazy Aviva. We all know that if Carole said it, Carole meant it and Ramona was WRONG!  Ramona chooses to remain deluded. What else is new?

It’s interesting to me, after watching the whole season, that Carole and LuAnn managed to steer clear of any arguments. I think Carole is a keeper! The show benefits from her intelligence, wit, and calming affect. LuAnn, on the other hand, may need to be put to out to pasture, if there is a season six. Bring in another new housewife already! There is nothing that is going to come from that baby story line and everyone knows it. They already milked it for all it was worth and then some. LuAnn is played out. I don’t know what Andy intends to do with Ramona and Sonja…send them to Dr. Drew’s rehab? Aviva has not become a fan favorite, however I find that her arguments are pretty valid. Maybe they are a little too played out because she isn’t used to dealing with people like Ramona and Sonja? She learned a lot this season, I would like to see how she handles them next season! Heather has a backbone and uses her brain to argue, not Pinot! I like it when people make sense and use logic. That is why I am a fan of the three new wives.

On to the Reunion Shows!

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S5E15

Sonja to Ramona: We're white trash? What is white trash anyway?

So Monday night was the third and finale episode of the St. Barths trip and the same theme carried throughout all three episodes. Aviva just could not get over the fact that she and Reid were invited to the island only to get there and find out her husband was really NOT welcome. How do we know this? Well first of all there is LuAnn’s remark that he would change the “dynamics” of the trip simply by being there. LuAnn has tried to distance herself from this comment and much like a politician, she actually denied saying it. Ahem, roll the video tape! She sure as hell did say it! Then, there is the conversation where Ramona wants to appoint LuAnn as the ambassador of bad will, to ask Reid to leave the enormous house (that he was invited to stay at by hostess Carole) and go to a hotel. And finally, my intuition tells me that Aviva was informed by someone, a producer perhaps, that Ramona and Sonja went hotel shopping just in case they could not tolerate Reid’s presence. Now that is pretty extreme! How the hell would anyone feel who made a huge sacrifice of leaving her family, to do something that produces huge anxiety and fear only to be treated poorly by the very friends who asked her to come? I’m cutting Aviva slack for being a “Royal Pain,” and maybe if she had a little more support, she would have calmed down.

On tonight’s episode…"they love me, they love me not," Aviva’s “white trash” insult gets a lot of airtime. Ramona and Sonja could not figure out what the hell "white trash" is so they google it. I can’t believe they got this far in life without knowing what the term means, however regardless of the meaning, they were both highly insulted. Sonja’s one night stand with Tomas, her throwing herself at the butler/chef and her excessive drinking with Ramona the entire time may lead one to think their behavior is trashy. Even Sonja admitted that in her blog.

Wait a minute, there's a couple's date?

Moving on to the “couple’s dinner” comprising of Carole and Russ and Aviva and Reid. It was just supposed to be a quick dinner and back to the group and I’m really not so sure no one else was invited. However, the fact Heather had no clue about this dinner wasn’t right. She was blindsided. She flew off the table and on to the beach to sulk. Carole catches up with her and they make up quickly. There is potential for a real friendship here so maybe Bravo will get rid of one of them? They have no flair for real drama, they are too real and intelligent for reality television.

Heather and Carole,Two reasonable, non argumentative individuals. They make up in an instant.

And, I don’t know why the hell Ramona and Sonja got so insulted over the couple’s dinner in the first place, since they spend most of their time alone, with each other. Case in point, EVERYONE is invited to Russ’s performance and all the cars are headed there. However, when they arrive, the car with Ramona and Sonja is missing. It turns out they went back to the house “to pack.” If that isn’t a royal insult, I don’t know what is. Seriously, these women are always talking out of both sides of their mouths…they want to be included and find every excuse to exclude themselves. Just like Ramona not wanting to jump into the pool with everyone else. And then Sonja just pulls off all her clothes and jumps in. Why the hell does she feel everyone needs to see her naked? These are two extremely self-centered, attention seeking, drama queens! They have gotten so extreme I am even liking LuAnn, who seems to be trying to act classy when she isn‘t chasing pirates on the side. I think Carole has been a good influence on her, reminding her how gracious royalty is supposed to act.

No one sent me the memo that a girl's vacation includes

being drunk and naked all the time.

After Russ’ concert, those who went return back to the villa for a special final dinner on their last night at St. Barths. More talk from Ramona about how Carole never mentioned she would be spending time with Russ. She claims she never got the memo. Clearly, that was Carole’s first and foremost reason for going, to spend time with Russ, who she never sees. I think Carole (Bravo) was thinking that Russ would be busy much of the time so why not invite the girls for a little getaway. Then, the producers figure let’s throw in Reid so the others will be pissed. By the way, is there evidence of a real concert or has this scenario been manufactured for the sake of the show? I have to wonder because Bravo got no footage at all of it. What do you think? 

Well another Bravo vacation from hell, what else is new? Will what happened in St. Barths stay in St. Barths? Will LuAnn's "secret" rendezvous with Tomas slip out to Jacques? You bet it will, otherwise why even  included the footage and make a stink over it. And why the hell would LuAnn cheat on Jacques on her first night there, if she really wants to have a baby with him? Hmmmmmmm, maybe she just created an opportunity for more drama and airtime for herself? Stay tuned!