In this corner, we have the NEW Wives!
In this corner we have the OLD wives
Let the games begin!
New wives against the old wives! As expected, Andy has the new wives sitting together on one couch and the old wives assemble on the other. That’s pretty predictable since we can no longer have the blondes against the brunettes. Now, let’s rehash every single argument in season 5 and see where the hell it gets us!
Royal Wars are first topic. I think that LuAnn was always put off by the fact that Carole royally outranked her, from day one. It was inevitable that this royal jealousy was going to lead to issues. First there was the Native American vs Indian war. Carole took that politically incorrect comment very seriously and made a snide remark that even third graders know better than to use the term Indian. LuAnn believes it is her right to use the derogatory term, since she is part Native American. I side with Carole on this issue, and we refer you back to LuAnn’s song “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” which may be the most fundamental truth LuAnn has ever said…even if it was in a tacky, classless video.
Second royal argument revolved around Carole’s designer friend, Ranjana, and LuAnn’s borrowing of the clothes and jewelry. No one ever let’s Carole explain herself because they shout her down, so the other women have to explain it for her. Aviva saves the day, as her explanation is understood by all. What the hell is so hard to understand? Carole was pissed because LuAnn, the opportunist, took advantage of Carole’s friendship with Ranjana, to impose on her and ask to borrow things. Did Ranjana offer? Probably yes, because when LuAnn paid Ranjana a compliment, it was the polite thing for Ranjana to do. People say things out of politeness that they don’t expect you to necessarily take them up on. Carole felt that LuAnn crossed a line. You don’t impose on strangers and other people’s friends. Once again LuAnn demonstrates her lack of class. I side with Carole on this issue.
I was a Countess before you were even born, Carole!
Then there was the Princess vs. Countess title war. LuAnn says Carole threw her title around. Wrong. Carole never mentions she is a princess. Never. I have to remind myself that she is a princess every once in a while. LuAnn, on the other hand, never forgets that Carole is a princess. She probably has nightmares about being royally replaced. So in her little warped mind, she hears Carole saying the word “princess,” when in fact she never does. This is in direct contrast to the first four seasons of RONY, when LuAnn made sure everyone and their mother knew she retained her “Countess” title. Luann is definitely green with envy. I side with Carole.
I never say I'm a princess, if anything I'm an American or a peasant!
Next issue, Harry Dublin. Yes, everyone loves Harry…just don’t ask me why. Have you seen him? Yes, I guess if you are a fan you have. Harry is Aviva’s ex-husband who has managed to sleep with two of the other housewives…what the hell are the odds of that? Aviva doesn’t like it that Sonja keeps bringing up Harry, she has legal issues with him. For the sake of THE CHILDREN can we please stop bringing up ex-husbands already! I agree with Aviva, enough of Harry!
You know what? Unless you walk a mile in my shoe, you won't know
how it feels, so shut the hell up!
From there we move on to Aviva’s leg and phobias. No one appeared sympathetic to her story and it’s lifelong consequences. Everyone felt that for someone who wanted to be treated like everyone else and not have her leg brought up, Aviva talked about it the most. I will agree there was entirely too much referencing to the leg story. We heard it so many times I almost felt like it happened to me! I even said in earlier blogs that the “leg” should be the 7th housewife because it took on a life of it’s own. As for the phobias, Aviva has way too many of them. It affects her relationships. When you have phobias and anxiety it is with you 24/7, you can’t escape them. Do you think that maybe BRAVO selected Aviva because her leg and phobias might create drama? No, that couldn’t be it, could it? I can almost hear Andy whispering, let’s go with Aviva this season and have her rehash her story over and over…you know Ramona, Pinot and Sonja will have a field day with that! Everyone jumped down Aviva’s throat for a false apology…HELLO, Ramona has made a dozen of those herself! Let’s keep it real shall we? I side with Aviva, if only because I am tired of a Pinot-soaked Ramona!
Ramona, you made my life a living hell before London, why
in the world would I invite you? Holla!
Ramona is still upset Heather didn’t invite her to London, boo hoo. Heather says she made the right decision and would do it again. Heather makes her case, they weren’t getting a long, Ramona has a big, uncensored mouth, it was a business trip. No time for drama on the trip, so Ramona carried on and on and on before the trip. Heather, I side with you…the further away from Ramona, the better. Holla!
What are you thinking Aviva? Only my Ramona is allowed to
make insincere apologies...geez!
Of course the three episode trip to St. Barth’s was going to be the finale’s finale! Once again the “white trash” comment comes up and apparently Reid’s “overweight cougars” comment does too. I think Aviva could have come up with something better to call them. How about inebriated, classless, attention seeking exhibitionists? That would put her education to good use and be more accurate. So Aviva apologizes again, but Ramona and Sonja aren’t having it because they claim Aviva talks behind their backs in blogs and on twitter. Guess what? Ramona said plenty of disparaging things behind Aviva’s back. I don’t follow Sonja so I can’t comment on her. There are two sets of rules for this show, one for the old wives and one for the new wives. The old wives think that by virtue of seniority, they can say and do anything they please and get a pass, while the new wives have to walk a fine line and not cross it. I think, for the most part, they gave as good as they got, considering they have no experience in warfare.
These Reunions always make me want to gag myself!
Can’t wait for part two of the Reunion next week. By the way, all the women looked lovely…now if only they would act that way.
Picture Credit: BRAVO
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