Mob Wives: Happy Birthday Underboss!

"The best part of waking up, is Karen on your cup!"

Happy Birthday Underboss!!! My sources tell me, and a little late I might add, that today is the birthday of our respected Underboss, a writer on our blog, who shares his male point of view with us. We can report that Underboss has been given a brand new Keurig coffee maker, which he was happy to receive.  However, I have been told that he also would like a new cell phone and is on a mafia war path about it.  Maybe, if he is very good, Mafia Godmother will bring him one in the near future.

Many good wishes from all of us here at the blog!

Mob Wives: A Whack Pageant

I have not done much in regards to blogging about the Mob Wives series.  Actually just so you know I have about 4, coughs 5 blogs waiting in the drafts to be published.  Now if you don't see anymore posts from me you know Mob Mistress has fired me, for complaining about the management around here.

A sin is a sin; I have to admit to not watching Mob Wives every week faithfully.  What can I type?  I have a family to provide for; career before hobby right?  I do watch an episode here and there.  I did however make a date to watch the Mob Wives finale episode.  No worries lotion was not involved.  I do not want to turn off any readers.  I was glued to my chair the entire episode.  As I sat there, I thought, 'These women are quite attractive.'    In the tradition of Miss America and Miss USA I thought that I would give you my list of who I think would win the tiara.  The scores are based on looks, personality, and who would most likely whack me, in the middle of the night.

The first contestant is Renee Graziano.  Per my tastes Renee is not the most attractive. She seems to like her cosmetic & plastic surgery.  I have a type.  Ms. Graziano's strong features are a bit much for me. I have viewed old & current pictures.  She is a good looking woman; I would rate her a 6.  Renee has the most pleasant personality on the show. She seems genuine in her efforts and in life.  In addition, she seems like a real friend to the women. I give her a 9 in personality. As for the whacking in the middle of the night she does not strike me as too crazy.  She scores low on the whack scale; I give her a 3.

Once upon a time there was Bennifer, then there was DRILA.

The second contestant is Carla Facciolo. She is a fit woman & has a nice figure. Her face is really pretty.  She is one that fits my type well. Her nose is a little big.  However, it does not take away from her beauty.  The hair does not work for me.  It seems like she needs some type of update to bring her into the 21st century. I give her a 7.  Carla's personality is kind of suspect.  She seems a little conniving and dishonest.  I am not sure if she really likes anybody on the show except for herself.  2 is all I give her for personality.  As for whacking me she seems too out of it to do any killing.  I think she would not do me dirty. She earns a whack score of 1.

Drita D'avanzo is the next contestant. She is a beautiful woman.  She is the most fit. You can tell that all the Leeing through the years have aged her.  Her face is really hard.

Leeing
-verb
(Mob Wife slang)

1. To defend Lee.
2. To send Lee mozzarella, cold cuts & Vanilla Coke.
3. To waste a decade of one's life waiting for Lee.
4. To act as if Lee is something a woman could not get over. (Example: Karen Gravano)
5. To listen to Lee behind bars call you a dirty cunt.
6. To protect Lee's name.  In spite of it NOT being a name one could protect due to his public criminal record.

Even so, D.D. is a striking woman.  I watched the sexy photo shoot episode.  My reaction, "Wow!"  She can look really soft.  Her looks get an 8.  Drita possesses the most entertaining personality show wise. She is a hulk minus the green & shredded clothing.   The one time soccer athlete is ready to fight at the drop of a lek (Albanian coin).  She is fiery.  There is a major drawback to this fiery personality.  Mrs. D'avanzo does not take time to listen and calm down.  A fighter in every aspect, she does not back down.  I will give her a 6 for personality.  I do believe I am afraid of Drita.  She would have zero trouble killing me if I pissed her off.  She is off the charts when it comes to anger & overreaction.  Rage garners her a 10 in the whack capable meter.  I am afraid, very afraid.

Last but not least, it's Karen Gravano's chance to win the tiara.  When I was asked who is the one I find most attractive I immediately answered, "Karen."  She fits my type.  I could explain but I have sh!t to do.  It's called sleep.  Just know, I find her very attractive. She is not the most fit but who cares?  I don't.  Her face is pretty.  Her body has womanly curves.  She gets a 9 from me.  In addition her personality is equally to my liking.  She is not the most friendly.  Yet, she does seems to be honest.  Through her dealings with Drita, I am under the impression she truly tried to be a friend.  The daughter of Salvatore "Sammy the Bull" Gravano values loyalty. She is not fiery.  Though she seems like she can handle herself if needed.  Ultimately, I give her a 7 for personality. As for the whacking part, she could go Drita on me.  When it's all blogged & done, I think she could take the Al Green route,  throwing hot grits on me.  I speculate Karen's whack potential is a 5.

Are boots just made for walking? Take notes ladies.

To declare the 1st winner we will calculate the scores for each Mob Wife.  The formula is looks plus personality minus whacking potential = Tiara for the Mob Wife with the greatest potential not to kill me if  we were an item. 

Renee: 6+9-3=12

Carla: 7+2-1=8

Drita: 8+6-10=4

Karen: 9+7-5=11

The winner with my math is Renee.  Karen is the runner up.  I was tempted to skew the results as if Donald Trump & pick who I think is the prettiest.  While physical beauty is important to most men, it can fade quickly.  If you manage not to get whacked by your wife you're left with her personality.  I find Renee the most enjoyable.  I could hang out with her.  Honestly I like a little meat on a woman.  Renee and Karen both fit the bill.  It was very close, fur coat to fur coat.  I crown Renee Graziano of Staten Island, New York - Mrs. Mob Wife U.S.A. 2011 (season 1 of Mob Wives).

I can't wait for the Mob Wives Reunion show airing Sunday, July 10 on VH1 @ 8PM.  After watching the finale I know the Mob Wives won't let me down. I am looking forward to seeing them all dressed up.  As always, I appreciate you're reading.  Share your thoughts on who would win if you were the judge.

Mob Movie: The Loyalty of "A Prophet"

Now many of you only drop by to read about VH1's Mob Wives series which I can appreciate. The ladies do a great job giving you information relevant to the show's cast and their lifestyles. If you don't know, these ladies are diggers. I have watched the show a few times. This may read like blasphemy but I really cannot get into it. It could be due to my missing a couple of episodes. Maybe I just can't relate to the women. Which is probably a good thing because I am 100% all man. I was asked to contribute to this blog strictly based on my encyclopedia type knowledge of pop culture, movies and music. My memory is serious business.  I can read; I can watch; I can listen whether books, movies, albums, newspapers,  magazines and remember all sorts of details.

I happened to be listening to the Howard Stern Show on Sirius XM.  He was reading an advertisement for a little movie called "A Prophet".  The ad said the movie was comparable to "The Godfather".  I hate when a movie is compared to a classic.  Most of the time, it will never stand a chance living up to the comparison. The advertisement mentioned it's Academy Award nomination for best foreign language film. It is a French movie with subtitles.  One day I was fooling around with my Netflix queue.  I came across "A Prophet".  So I said why not. At a minimum, it would be fun to see if the French can make a gangster movie. 

I've watched "A Prophet" twice now. Once for enjoyment and the second time for some of the themes that ran throughout. The thread through this movie is one we see with the Mob Wives; loyalty. Loyalty is near and dear to many.  It's everything for some.

A quick rundown of the movie, the movie's central character is a French Arab named Malik.  He is sentenced to 6 years in prison. He's in prison for fighting cops.  Malik is 19 years old with no family and no real identity.  All he wants to do is serve his time, and eventually move forward with his life. As in most prisons there are separate factions which run the prison. The factions are the Corsican mob and the Muslims. The Corsican mob boss in prison is Luciani. He is an older gentleman who is probably going to die in prison.  It appears the Corsican mob is the dominating faction in the prison.  While the Muslims seem very united.  We're not given a clear view of the Muslims beyond their loyalty.

Malik is jumped for his shoes in the prison courtyard. The Corsicans witness the incident.  They approach Malik with a job.  He is asked to kill a Muslim witness named Reyeb. Malik is conflicted.  He does not want to kill.  He does not want to kill a fellow Muslim. In the end, he has no choice.  The job completed; he earns the protection from the Corsicans.  Malik is looked at only as a dirty Arab. He does not get the respect from the mob. He is their bitch boy for lack of a better term.  He appears fiercely loyal.  Whatever is asked of him, he does.

Malik has visions of Reyeb in his cell. Many may interpret this as a haunting of his first murder.  I see this in a totally different way. Reyeb had been trying to find a friend in prison. Reyeb tried to get Malik to understand his Muslim heritage. The brotherhood which can be strong if they remain loyal to each other.

Luciani begins trusting Malik with bigger assignments.  Malik develops relationships outside of the mob.  As Luciani trusts grows, Malik begins identifying with his Muslim roots. He meets another Muslim who pushes Malik to education. The Corsicans' oppressive hand has no interest in Malik or any other Muslim's education.  They know the tide will turn with knowledge.  Malik appears closer to Luciani than the other Corsican soldiers.  He does not ask Luciani for anything.  He does not burden the boss.

The one thing that I loved about the movie was Malik's loyalty. He was loyal to whoever. Maybe he used them but it was never obvious.. He created a bond to the Muslims by giving money. Luciani trusted him enough because of his loyalty. Malik began handling big business. Malik was loyal to his friends who helped him along the way. He made money with a drug dealer. He supported Ryad because he showed him education.  The viewer watches Malik do bad things.  Yet most who watch will love this character.  Malik is fiercely loyal.  He just kept everything quiet and he made his way.  He raises to power.  He becomes stronger than the Corsicans.  He is respected.  Yet to the Corsicans after all the jobs and time spent with him, Malik is only a dirty Muslim.

I understand the comparison to the Godfather.  I don't know if "A Prophet" will ever be seen as a classic in the states.  It's a little seen movie.  It's a foreign film with subtitles.  I love the movie. I watched it last night again for this post. I saw things; I hadn't caught the first time around. It's a great mob or gangster movie. I know you read.  So grab your reading glasses and pop some corn.  "A Prophet" is the next best thing to having a French lover whisper sweet nothings in your ear.  Let me know your thoughts on the movie if you've seen it or after you watch it.  I'd also like your recommendations on some great movies.  I wonder what the ladies of Mob Wives would say about this movie.  Loyalty comes out of their mouths every Sunday @ 8PM/7PM central as if they get a buck everytime they say the word.

Mob Wives: Sexy Salvatore Gravano

Yes, I am embarrassed.  However, I am around here to blog about my opinion.  I know. I know.  Sammy the Bull was a murderer among other things.  I can't help it that the man was sexy back in the day.  Sammy the Bull was one HMMMPH, HMMMPH, HMMMPH fine.  You can argue with me in the comment box if you want.  I am sticking to my opinion.  Even as he was aging and allegedly going under the knife he could have starred in one of my naughty dreams.  I'd play cop.  He'd play robber trying to steal my goodies.  Okay, I know too much information.  I am just keeping it real.

However, as life proves to me as I get older than Donald Trump's bad hairdo, aging is not kind to everyone.  Some sexiness comes to an end.  We all don't age like fine wine without the help of botox, juvederm, face lifts, acid peels, cheek implants and teeth implants.

           Mister Salvatore Gravano still had sex appeal.

          Sammy getting caught up.  The life of crime has takened it's toll.

     

 Man, crime doesn't pay in the end. 

.
I have to wonder who Salvatore could have been if he had gone straight long ago.  By all accounts Salvatore "Sammy the Bull" was extremely smart. I have to also think of his 19 victims and pain of their loved ones because he didn't.  So what's your take on Mr. Gravano?