It’s the fourth of July, and this week’s episode is appropriately entitled “Fireworks.” I had a feeling this title had nothing to do with cherry bombs and more to do with screaming and “F” bombs. I was half right, it had nothing to do with cherry bombs and the expected drama was just a fizzle. If you want to quit reading now, I don’t blame you.
Here we go! First we have a lame scene of Ramona, who had a photographer over her house taking pictures of her with her dog for Avery’s wall . . . yeah right. Sonja shows up ranting about her legal and financial problems. Sonja and Ramona both give Sonja credit for handling it all so well, especially the bankruptcy. But in the confessional, Ramona confides in us that Sonja is spreading herself too thin with all her projects, once again proving she is a good and loyal friend . . . NOT!
Heather and her husband take their son, Jax, to the doctor, it seems he isn’t hearing as well as he was and they need him checked. The doctor has him take a hearing test. The doctor tells them Jax hearing loss may be able to be surgically repaired. Jax has several medical issues. Of course this is taking it’s toll on Heather, who always tries to be strong for her son.
Aviva and Kristin take the kids out for a play date. Why? I don’t know. Kristen is Heather’s friend and doesn’t like Aviva. I figure the producers stirred this pot. Anyway, Kristin tells Aviva about the clam bake in the Hamptons. Kristin makes fun of Ramona’s eyes and it irks Aviva. Aviva tells her to shut the “F” Up. This “F” bomb was the best part of the episode, it came out of nowhere and for no good reason. I think Aviva has been hanging out with Renee Graziano and some of her language is rubbing off on her. Maybe we will see her on season 5 of Mob Wives next? Kristin is shocked and appalled. Aviva wants her to decide if she wants to get involved in her skirmish with Carole or not and she keeps repeating the question like a broken record. Kristin says everyone told her Aviva was crazy and now she is proving it. Kristin was trying to tell her she wants to be her friend and not get in the middle, but Aviva is yelling at her and really can‘t hear anything Kristen says. Aviva apologizes for cursing and she is done talking about it.
Heather is on the beach with her family for some 4th of July weekend fun. Carole joins them. They catch up on Aviva news. Heather tells “us” that she thinks Carole should let go of the “book thing,” she is obsessed. She tells Carole about Jax’s hearing issues and possible surgery. Heather gets emotional, she just wants to fix one thing for Jax. Heather and Carole seem to be genuinely good friends at this point.
LuAnn and Jacques play tennis with Ramona and Mario. Ramona and Mario are there to win, Luann is just there for fun. Kristen shows up in track shoes to play tennis . . . Mario and Ramona are shocked she is wearing the wrong shoes. Speaking of “wrong” things, Kristen confronts Ramona about not going to Heather’s party, it was wrong for her not to come. LuAnn says Heather has every right to be upset with Ramona for blowing off her party and not coming. Ramona was upset that Aviva wasn’t invited. Ramona tells Kristen to mind her own business, it wasn’t her party and Heather can fight her own battles. Kristen says she isn’t getting involved in this any more, but Ramona was fighting Aviva‘s battle. Swoosh! The pretty, “dumb-blonde,“ model housewife get’s in a slam dunk! Heather gets a call from the doctor. The doctor is pretty optimistic that they can restore Jax’s hearing. Heather is cautiously optimistic.
Ramona’s house in the Hamptons and that is where everyone is headed. Kristen shows up, then Sonja, then Aviva, then LuAnn . . . Ramona corners Kristen like a rat to tell her it wasn’t her place to say anything to her about her not going to Heather’s party. Kristen says Heather is her friend and she was defending her just like Ramona was fighting Aviva’s battles. Ramona was rude, loud and belligerent. I guess the truth hurts? Now Heather and Carole show up and Carole wants to avoid Aviva. Kristen doesn’t trust “cray cray” Aviva after the episode on the play date. Heather confronts Ramona nicely about blowing off her party after RSVPing. Heather wants to know why she didn’t come. They call each other hypocrites, blah blah blah. This is some party, everyone has a stick up their ass.
Ramona and Sonja discuss her burlesque show . . . Ramona heard it was a little raunchy. Sonja says it’s art. Ramona thinks Sonja is overextended with all her business ventures, she is over her head. LuAnn admires Sonja, but adds she could have used a little more “polish.” A highly insulted Sonja wants to leave to go to 4 or 5 better parties with nicer people who appreciate her. Sonja is annoyed with Ramona saying she is doing too many things at once. Sonja wants to see Ramona support a household as a single mother. Ramona is sorry she upset her. Aviva defends Ramona. Sonja says “Singer couldn’t handle a day in her life,” she doesn’t know what overwhelmed means, she doesn’t need Ramona making negative comments. Aviva tells them they love each other and that we all know Ramona puts her foot in her mouth every chance she gets. Then she makes them hug and make peace. They make up. But Sonja’s boa feathers are still quite ruffled by the negative comments about her burlesque show by both Ramona and LuAnn and isn‘t in much of a forgiving mood.
We are ¾ of the way through the show and I am dying for this episode to be over already. I keep hearing Judy Collins playing in the background, “Send in the clowns, there ought to be clowns.” This episode reminds me of when I was a kid and would light a firecracker and watch the fuse go all the way down, but it didn’t explode. We called those “duds.” and that’s what I call this show. Lots of hype about fighting and fireworks, but nothing really happens.
Still waiting for the fireworks that Bravo promised. All seven ladies are on the beach for the clam bake. Sonja is ignoring Ramona and it is getting under Ramona’s skin. Lots of drinking and eating going on. Heather tells Aviva to talk to Carole so they can move on. What the hell is Heather doing? Heather is supposed to be Carole’s friend, so why is she egging Aviva on to go make peace with Carole? We know how Carole feels? Carole is going to be blindsided. Aviva goes over to Carole and literally pulls her away from her conversation with Mario. They sit in the sand to discuss their issues. Carole doesn’t understand what she said at the lunch that got Aviva riled up enough to slander her career and Bill Whitworth’s career. Heather goes over to mediate, like she had nothing to do with this setup. Carole clearly isn’t in a conciliatory mood and nothing was accomplished. Aviva says she thinks Carole is a great writer and she read Widow’s Guide, which hadn‘t been published at the time. “What do you mean you read it?” asks an very annoyed Carole. Apparently, Aviva got an early copy of it, a galley copy. She congratulates Carole and takes the book out of her bag and waves it around. Carole was not happy to see she had a galley copy of the book and says the binder was not cracked, she didn’t read it. Frankly, Carole should get to the bottom of who gave the book to Aviva, I’m thinking Andy Cohen did or one of the producers. Maybe even the same producer who told Heather to get Aviva to talk to Carole?
This was the worst episode of the season. The episode couldn’t have been more scripted, except for the parts about Jax. The only redeeming value it may have is in Carole’s hilarious blog, which I am going to read right after I post this.
P.S. Am I the only one who thinks Ramona actually brings the show down? It was better before she came back from her vacation.
Picture Credit: BRAVO