Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Real Housewives of New York: Finale's What The Hell Moments S6 E20

"I'll hit the ceiling or else I'll tear up this town!"

“The Last Leg” or the last straw? Aviva cannot stand being called “fake” any longer, so she throws her leg across the table to make her point. You want fake? This is the only thing fake about me she tells her insensitive co-stars. And with that dramatic toss Aviva shows she has a leg up on everyone else! Warning: I am going to get all my leg and foot jokes in this blog!

Sonja hurt her ankle after being ditched by Harry. Ramona and Kristen show up and ask what happened. Sonja tells them Harry and LuAnn left the party together and got into a cab. She heard that LuAnn told him she was single. Sonja says she fell on the street chasing a cab. Boo Hoo Sonja is crying her eyes out over Harry. If it was me I’d be celebrating, but these women never do what I would do. Sonja is confused and in pain. Kristen is confused (what else is new?). Ramona is ranting (what else is new?). Sonja says Harry blew it the first time around with her and he is blowing it the second time too. (I’m not touching this line.) Then Sonja goes down the stairs with boots that have heels at least four inches high . . . Do I believe she hurt her foot? Is anything real on this show? Carole tweeted that Sonja twisted her ankle because she was drunk not chasing a cab. Now that I can believe! But maybe Sonja’s leg just wants to give Aviva’s leg a run for her money? Some people are so competitive!

"I wouldn't touch Harry with a 10 foot pole!"

And now LuAnn drops by Sonja’s. Really?  LuAnn takes a seat at the table with Sonja. Sonja accuses LuAnn of leaving the party with Harry. LuAnn says Harry left the party and followed the others, not her. LuAnn is angry that Sonja would accuse her of having anything to do with Harry. Lu says she wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole, been there done that. Sonja can’t stay mad at her especially not over Harry. Sonja really doesn’t seem that angry at all for all the crying she did a few minutes ago, but she wants Harry to do some explaining. Harry has to step up to the plate and start talking! Maybe he will put his Foot in his mouth?

Carole and Heather are shopping for bags and find one they love that costs $9,000. I think we refer to that as costing an “arm and a leg.” Very nice. Heather brings up Jax and his hearing issues. They got a second opinion from a doctor who said they probably won’t be able to reverse the hearing loss. It’s confusing when doctors have different opinions. Carole relates because she went to different doctors for her husband and says you just have to pick one doctor that you trust and listen to him. Jax feels his hearing is fine, so no surgery.

By the way I am skipping over the scenes with Kristen because they are really boring so check another blog if you are a fan of hers.

Sonja meets Harry for lunch. He wants to talk about what happened and move on. Sonja says he left her at the club and got in a cab with LuAnn. And, what’s worse is that it happened the same night he says he wants to commit to her, just minutes after he gave her the ring. Someone told him LuAnn was drinking and he shouldn’t let her leave alone. He says nothing happened. Sonja asks him how can he leave her at the party. He says it was stupid and he is sorry. Sonja says she was ready for a commitment, but he isn’t. She returns his ring and says “let’s keep things the way they were.” I guess Sonja isn’t going “commando” for Harry any time soon.

Next up are Carole’s apartment renovations. Heather and Kristen drop by and love it what she has done to it. Kristen likes the fact that there is no kitchen. Heather pops the champagne and Carole says she loves her apartment. And seriously, the apartment is stunning! Carole gets a text that Aviva is joining them at the Team Sonja party. Kristen says Aviva is an outsider at this point for not going to Montana. Heather and Carole aren’t thrilled with Aviva and her phobias. Carole intends to be politely rude. She feels when Aviva is gone it feels like a vacation. They all toast to their common dislike of Aviva. But what if Aviva was really sick and they are all kicking her when she is down? Will Aviva be able to go toe-to-toe with them about this?

Ramona and Carole are having a chat and Ramona tells her she dated Fabio. Then she brags about how she and Mario had instant chemistry and are still together. I think Ramona dated Pinot before dating Fabio and Mario.

Aviva clearly doesn't like where
 this dinner conversation is headed!

Team Sonja Party! LuAnn, Heather, Ramona, Carole, Kristen are all there. Carole says she doesn’t think she is on Team Sonja, but nevertheless she was invited. Sonja wants to celebrate how well things are going for her. Sonja makes her grand entrance. And then here comes Aviva, putting her best foot forward, is all dressed in red like a movie star from the old MGM movies. She says she came to support Sonja. Sonja wants to give a speech celebrating all the people there who help her develop her brand. But before Sonja opens her mouth, an obnoxious Ramona berates her for not saying hello to her friends first, after all, they have been there an hour. LuAnn keeps calling Sonja’s Team bizarre and laughing. Ramona says Sonja’s speech was a book and it made no sense at all. Ramona and Heather are saying Aviva is fake for not going to Montana and making up the whole asthma excuse. Aviva is upset because they are all avoiding her none of them ever asked her how she is feeling. Sonja isn’t too thrilled with some of “her friends” for laughing at her speech. Every one of the housewives is against Aviva, and Heather decides to confront her at the table. Aviva doesn’t understand what is happening at first, like she has been blindsided. Carole says she has been the most horrible person to everyone here. They accuse her of lying! Aviva has had it! Aviva screams my doctor must have lied to me.

The proof is in the x-ray!

Then Aviva whips out her x-rays to show them that either her asthma is real or her doctor is creating an elaborate lie. Aviva doesn’t want be called a liar. I think we have found Aviva’s “Achilles Heel!” Then, Aviva takes a jab at Carole’s writing. She feels this attack goes back to what she said about Carole’s book. Ramona thinks Aviva didn’t want to go to Montana because she didn’t want leave her husband. Aviva says that missing the trip was purely due to illness. Aviva tries to explain that the cause of her asthma is reflux and she had to eat differently to get better and lost ten pounds because of it. Aviva finds it very hurtful that no one believes her. Then Heather announces she wants to go home, this is all a waste of her time.

First it's on the table . . .

. . . then flung to the floor
The last time I saw it, it walked out the door.

Out with the leg! Somebody cue the DJ to play “Footloose!” Aviva takes off her leg and waves it yelling, “This is the only thing fake about me! Everything else is real, everything else! I am sick of it.” Aviva puts her foot down for the last time. She flings it on the table. And then, from the table, she flings it out to the floor. Everyone looks horrified. Aviva says Heather is very mean. Carole picks up the leg, returns it to Aviva and tells her she needs help. Then Carole quips you know what they say “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings or the skinny lady throws her leg.” You have to love Carole’s wit.

Carole retrieves the leg, 
while LuAnn is still in a tizzy.

That’s it for season 6 with a two part reunion show waiting in the wings. Will there be a season 7 for New York? I think Andy is working on it, but I did hear everyone was fired except Ramona, who will be full-time and Aviva, who will be part-time (which she pretty much was this season). I am not happy with this development. If I were Andy I would keep Heather, Carole, Aviva and LuAnn and add a couple of NEW drama divas. If you think you can do without Aviva, think again. She caused drama in every episode she was in, and all they did was talk about her in every episode that she went missing.

Picture Credit: Bravo

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E19

Carole's stunning entrance to her 50th Party

“There’s Something About Harry” is tonight’s episode, but frankly I have nothing nice to say about Harry. Nothing at all. I would have called this episode "There's Something About Carole's Party" because wait until you see all her "suggestions."

Heather is going to help Carole plan her 50th Birthday. She is working with Carole’s assistants. They need live butterflies for the center pieces. And, Carole also wants one of the old chandeliers, from her apartment, moved to the venue of the party. She also wants a man walking an invisible dog, a harvest moon in the trees, pistols, 5,000 white rose flower petals, polished apples, headless mannequins, 1,000 white lights in the trees . . . and who the hell knows what else! However, she makes it clear she doesn’t want Aviva.

Sonia and Harry discuss their relationship and where it’s going . . . probably to hell in a picnic basket.

Kristin is ready with the tissues!

Kristen and Josh are seeing someone about their issues with tissues. Dr. Ryan (will have his hands) Fuller with these two. He looks too young to solve their problems. Geez if  Commando Sonja was there she would be making the moves on the young doctor and say adios to Harry. Josh says Kristen picks arguments on small things, minute details that don’t matter. Kristen always feels she is on the back burner in Josh’s life and that work always comes first. Kristen feels she supports Josh with his work. Kristen thinks they made progress and that Josh is going to change . .  excuse me while I die laughing.

I refuse to comment about Ramona and Avery packing 20 pairs of shoes for college. Naturally Avery is a mini-me diva of her mother and that is too much for me to take.

Another positive scene cut short for fabricated drama

Aviva is in the designer fake leg store. Aviva is helping a lady who needs a leg. Why can’t we see more scenes like this? Something positive that could actually help and encourage others with similar disabilities? God forbid we spend a little time on these shows to help make the world a better place.

Sonja needs some guidance concerning her relationship with Harry and she gets a tarot card reader, Thomas John, to tell her what she needs to know. He tells her there is a devil in her inner circle, a woman who is very deceptive. It’s a brunette, but her name is not Carole. Hmmm. Could it be LuAnn? LuAnn seems to think that is where this is going from her tweets.

Oh my God! I can't have a snake handler? Carole will kill me!

Back to Heather and her planning. It got too be too much for even her to carry out, so she hired a party planner. Carole knows she can trust Heather to do a great job and if she can‘t, she will get someone who can. Carole pops in to see the progress and help out. But Carole finds lots of fault with things, the details aren’t quite right. Heather tells her there will be no snake handler because Dept of Health won’t allow it in a place where food is being served. Carole is disappointed to say the least. What is a party without a snake handler? Meanwhile Carole decides things are going so smoothly she is going for a manicure. The theme of this party? Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. It’s interesting.

The party is beautiful. Most of the people are dressed as evil (black) with a few decked out in white (good). There are dead butterflies floating in the centerpiece bowls, how chic. LuAnn says she and Jacques broke up and she is pretty sad and cries. Ramona, upon hearing the news, is crass and obnoxious as usual. This woman doesn’t have a caring bone in her body. Finally Carole arrives. She feels sexy and empowered and strong. She is dressed all in red! Carole and Kristen are supportive of Lu.

Heather joins the pity party for LuAnn. Lu feels a huge void in her life right now. She cries. Carole says it’s her party and she can cry if she wants to (how clever). Heather says she has a very good little toast prepared. Harry is making moves on Sonja. He wants to take their relationship to another level, he is serious about her, and he gives her a ring to show how much he cares for her. Sonja falls for it. Here comes the toast! It’s an email Carole sent Heather about what she doesn’t want to have included the toast. So bff Heather reads the entire email as her toast with everything that Carole didn’t want said. Sonja has a fit when she finds out Lu broke up with Jacques. She is the last to know. Sonja finds a way to make Lu’s breakup all about her. What can I say?

Lu Ann and Heather seem to be the entertainment and Ramona does nothing but complain again. I think they were drunk. By the way, it’s too bad Aviva wasn’t invited to this party because it was boring.

A cozy Lu and Harry disappear from the party!

Out comes the cake. Carole thought the party turned out perfectly. Sonja tells Ramona that Harry just gave her a ring. Ramona wants the details. Ramona wants to know if she is happy. Sonja tells her she put the ring in her purse. Ramona says that’s not a good sign. Sonja wants to leave and she is looking for Harry. Uh oh. It seems that Harry left with LuAnn without saying a word. To be continued . . . In next week’s finale, Thank God!

Picture Credit: Bravo

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Mob Wives: Karen and Carla Partay!

Look what I found on Twitter!

That's Right! Karen Gravano and Carla Facciolo, the "Original Girls" of Mob Wives, were out on the town getting "crunk" and having a ton of fun. Seeing this picture only made me realize how much I miss the show's original cast. The other day I made an innocent comment to Karen and she replied:  

Next thing you know, pictures start popping up!

And these really take me back!

Both Karen and Carla had only nice things to say!

Seriously, I don't know what it all means. Maybe Karen was just in town on a project and decided to look up her old friends? It could be that simple. But damn it, I wish we had the old cast back for season 5! Why? Because the original girls know how to roll! 

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E18

"You're late, late late!" nags Kristen for more than half the show!
No wonder Josh doesn't come home.

“Something To Sing About” or not. Apparently we are going see LuAnn refuse to perform at open mic night, or will she?

Here we go. Heather and Kristin and their two husbands meet for dinner. They start off with a “bossy” discussion. This is called beating a dead horse. Heather and Josh agree on the demands of business and the crazy, unpredictable hours. Who cares? Kristin really wants her husband to “get” that he has a wife and family, and he needs to make time for them. He doesn’t get it.

Next! Ramona Mario and their daughter are around the piano. Ramona mentions open mic at Birdland. Mario is learning a new song, “Effortless,” written for him to sing for the occasion. Ramona says they are going to go because Mario loves to sing. They are going to ask LuAnn to go too. A guy is playing the piano and Mario sings. Well all I can say is I hope Mario doesn’t ever go on The Voice because he stinks. RHONY has officially run out of material for storylines!

Sonja interviews a new intern. She is a psychology major and Sonja doesn’t want to be analyzed. Too bad because Sonja’s behavior is worth putting under a microscope. Aviva pops up during the interview. Sonja has prepared a serene setting in the garden to deliver bad news to Aviva. Aviva is happy to see Sonja. Sonja tells her about Montana. In general they all got along really well, except for talking about Aviva the whole time. Aviva is shocked, but should she be? And then Sonja throws her best friend, aka BFF, Ramona under the bus saying she started the ball rolling on Aviva. Aviva asks if they were worried about her, but Sonja sets her straight. They thought she lied about asthma and the nebulizer was just a prop, all to get attention. Aviva says her lung capacity was under 50% and she couldn’t take the chance of being hospitalized. Aviva says she went to the Hamptons for two days knowing her doctor would be there. Aviva, somewhat outraged at their accusations, says maybe she is lying about her artificial leg to get attention too. Sonja wants to protect Aviva for some reason. I guess we will find out when the sh*t hit’s the fan in the finale (which I hope comes very soon).

RHONY milking Carole's book deal for all it's worth!

Carole’s turn at bat. Carole is still playing with her new book and is holding the UK copy which has a different cover. She has to make the audio version of her book. She is sending out galley copies to get a buzz going with some important people like Barbara Walters and Kelly Rippa. Not to mention, she gets a ton of free publicity on the show for everything little thing she does to it.

RHONY milking Sonja's ass
for all it's worth

Back to Ramona. She is meeting with a plastic surgeon. She wants to look good for open mic night . . . seriously? Ramona suddenly discovers that she enjoys Kristen and is taking her under “her wings.” The doctor is melting a layer of fat on Ramona’s stomach. They want Kristen to start botox, Kristen says no. Good for you Kristen! Then Sonja gets on the table and gets a little too graphic with her sexual moves and explanations. Where is that psychology intern when you need her?

Kristen decides to cook a meal for date night so Josh can’t say he doesn’t come home because there is never any food on the table. Kristen has no clue how to cook anything. She looks like it’s the first time she has been in her kitchen . . . or any kitchen for that matter. Josh was supposed to be home at 6 PM and it’s 6:30. She calls to confront him about it. He is on his way. He gets bent out of shape and yells at her that he had a conference call with six other people. Come on, it’s only 60 minutes anyway.

Sonja and Harry Dubin get together. They had a hot relationship 25 years ago until he chose another date on New Year’s Eve. They have a picnic in the park. She likes the way he smells when he sweats…too much information. Sonja appreciates the way Harry “gets” her when her girlfriends don‘t. Was this scene necessary? Harry will say or do anything to continue to be cast on the show.

Kristen and Josh continue their fight. Kristen is a whiny winge. Kristen’s potatoes are suffering. We are all suffering. She asks him to set the table, even though she had an extra 30 to 60 minutes to do it herself. He says he doesn’t mind eating out. Now he tells her! She could have just relaxed and waited for him to come home instead of trying to figure out how to cook. They sit down to eat and he thanks her for making the meal. But Kristen can’t let go of the fact that he was late. She is such a nag! No wonder poor Josh doesn’t want to come home. They agree to go to a mediator and Josh thinks the mediator will side with him.

LuAnn is taking professional pictures with Jacques and her dogs. She feels their relationship is in trouble. Perhaps this is a little foreshadowing, but too bad we already know they are no longer together.

Mario kills the song and
NOT in a good way!

Ramona is at open mic night at Birdland. Mario and Shane will be performing. Ramona calls them “my two husbands.” LuAnn is supposed to be singing with Heather as backup. Ramona thinks Heather sings better. Heather looks fantastic and she is a good sport. Sonja is also there, big surprise. LuAnn decides she doesn’t want to sing. Ramona doesn’t blame her, she knows she can’t sing and there is no autotune there. LuAnn doesn’t want to show up Mario, so she jokes. Lu thinks Ramona is teasing and bullying her and she is just there to support Mario. LuAnn tells Ramona she will sing if she wants to and, if she doesn’t want to, she won’t. Everyone thinks Ramona is being obnoxious, so what else is new? Lu is losing her patience with Ramona and her hurtful rudeness. The host announces Mario, who comes up to the stage. He sings a love ballad to Ramona (all the while isn‘t he having an affair with a young woman?). Sonja is nervous for Mario. She should be, Mario stinks. The song stinks. And Harry is stuffing his face with chicken like a caveman.

Heather belts out Bill Bailey, but
she is no superstar!

And next up to sing is Heather. Heather sings Bill Bailey. They think Heather sings great, like a superstar. I mean she sings pretty good, but a superstar? I guess they have very low standards. Don’t get me wrong. Heather was head and shoulders better than Mario . . . but even a howling dog could have beat Mario.

P.S. LuAnn tweets she did get up and sing “Big Spender,” but it was cut from the show. Good for you Lu!

Picture Credit: Bravo

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Real Housewives Of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E17

"Boo hoo. Heather is so mean 
and bossy and won't own it!"

“Bury The Hatchet” is the title of this episode, as Heather and Kristen continue to “fight” in Montana . . . but in whose back?

So we are stuck in Montana for another episode. Kristen is still pissed with Heather’s lack of cooperation and enthusiasm. Ramona is drowning her sorrows over being stuck in Montana with beer and snacks that she prepared for all the girls. LuAnn is dying for a cold beer too. But, in typical housewives drama, Kristen is off sulking by herself and whining. Carole goes to look for Kristen and check on her. Kristen is crying, boo hoo, boo hoo.  Heather tells the others that Kristen called her drunk, and Ramona, who has had a had a head start drinking, winds up on the floor laughing like a hyena. Carole counsels Kristen and tries to make her feel better, telling her not to take it personally. Kristen is happy with Carole’s advice. And why wouldn’t she be happy? Heather and Kristen have been friends for years. Are we really supposed to think they had this huge falling out for real, or is this “fight” a little something the producers concocted for our benefit? No wonder ratings are suffering.

LuAnn, Kristen and Heather are going “glamping” (glamorous camping). Ramona goes to get Sonja and finds her in bed, as usual, and not packed. Sonja says she can’t go, she says to tell the others she has asthma. Ramona doesn’t want to get Kristen pissed off. Sonja gets moving. Finally they all get to the pavillion in the woods. LuAnn wants glassware with stems. Two young guys are there to make sure they are comfortable. Heather corners Kristen and they start discussing the incident. As it gets heated, Kristen walks away to find her bedroom. They are all checking on the sleeping accommodations and decide who sleeps where. Ramona only cares about what kind of wine they have there. She needs wine to make things smoother for the group, or so she says. Ramona tells Kristin that she doesn’t take care of her guests and that she has been doing all the work and acting like the hostess. LuAnn isn’t happy with Ramona’s attitude and making Kristin feeling like crap. Heather shows up and she seems tipsy. They chat about who is bossy and who isn’t. Kristen then asks Heather if she is bossy and controlling with Carole?

"Okay, you got me. 
I am now and forever the Boss B*tch!"

And then Heather stand up and says I am now and forever “Boss B*tch!” Kristen keeps yelling that Heather is bossy and she should own it. She even tells her that she bosses her husband around. Heather gets offended and puts a stop to it. Carole says it’s insulting to judge someone else’s marriage. Carole says Kristen was getting herself in hot water at dinner. Ramona is starting to feel bad for Kristen and she takes Kristen off to the side to calm her down. Kristen is shocked to see Ramona on her side. Ramona also thinks Heather’s husband hides behind her, like he is afraid of his shadow. Too bad Heather didn’t hear that! Talk about throwing fuel on the fire!

It’s a new day! Everyone wakes up. Heather seems to have a hangover and says Kristen is mean and out of line. Meanwhile Kristen phones her husband outside the cabin and tells him what is going on. She tells him she told Heather she is bossy. Josh doesn’t think it’s a flaw, it’s just who she is. Carole says she is bossy on the inside and she jokes about bossing Heather around. Ramona and Sonja are in their bedroom trying to get ready for the rodeo. Big discussion on what jeans to wear. Such a dilemma! They finally all meet up and get in the car to head to the rodeo. There are 2 cars, so the groups are divided so that Heather and Kristen can each complain about the other. When they get there they find themselves all overdressed compared to the crowd. They find the roping of the calves exciting for some reason. They go to the port-a-potty and there is no toilet paper! Like a Seinfeld episode, “not a square to spare.” Kristen and Heather are stuck on a complaining broken record. Carole tells Kristen to apologize for talking about Heather’s marriage. Kristen doesn’t think she is at fault for speaking the truth and she feels she should get an apology. Back at the cabins, everyone freaks out, they think there is a bear in the woods. Turns out it’s a prank, it’s just Carole in a fur coat that she got on eBay for $600. Thank God someone has a sense of humor. I wish I had $600 to throw away on a prank.

The Tall Cowboy!

Last night at the ranch and Kristen has arranged a nice dinner. Kristen is upset over her fight with Heather. She doesn’t want to lose her as a friend. Kristen thinks they will chat at dinner and get over it. They pile into an open wagon and head off to their final dinner. It reminds me of Little House On The Prairie. There is a very, very tall cowboy to meet them at their destination. They are all amazed like they never saw a very tall man before. How fake is that? Kristen managed to invite a bunch of cowboys to their dinner to liven things up. This is right up Sonja’s alley. She immediately digs her boot heels in and rounds them all up for herself. I was waiting for her to hog tie them so they couldn’t get away. The rest of them throw hatchets at a target and Heather hits the bullseye. Everyone loves throwing sharp objects. The dinner is an outdoor BBQ. There is tension at the table and Ramona is acting as mediator, tells Kristen and Heather to talk and resolve their issues. Kristen gets up and asks Heather if she would like to go down to the river. Heather says she is scared. Kristen says she had a rough day to excuse her behavior. Heather says she shouldn’t have brought up her marriage. Kristen says she took it the wrong way. Heather tells her she is dramatic and she should be apologizing. Heather asks Kristen how does she think Jon would feel if he knew she said, at a table full of women, that she controls him. Kristen says she thinks he would agree. Wow. Then Kristen sort of apologizes. Heather accepts it and they patch it all up and hug. Kristen thinks they all had a pretty good time after all is said and done. They enjoy their last dinner. And they all live happily ever after . . . NOT!

Heather and Kristen sing "Kumbaya"

Now to go home and fill Aviva in on everything. I hope no one complains that Aviva didn’t go with them. Fake asthma or real asthma, I think she did the smartest thing not to go.

Picture Credit: BRAVO