“Bury The Hatchet” is the title of this episode, as Heather and Kristen continue to “fight” in Montana . . . but in whose back?
So we are stuck in Montana for another episode. Kristen is still pissed with Heather’s lack of cooperation and enthusiasm. Ramona is drowning her sorrows over being stuck in Montana with beer and snacks that she prepared for all the girls. LuAnn is dying for a cold beer too. But, in typical housewives drama, Kristen is off sulking by herself and whining. Carole goes to look for Kristen and check on her. Kristen is crying, boo hoo, boo hoo. Heather tells the others that Kristen called her drunk, and Ramona, who has had a had a head start drinking, winds up on the floor laughing like a hyena. Carole counsels Kristen and tries to make her feel better, telling her not to take it personally. Kristen is happy with Carole’s advice. And why wouldn’t she be happy? Heather and Kristen have been friends for years. Are we really supposed to think they had this huge falling out for real, or is this “fight” a little something the producers concocted for our benefit? No wonder ratings are suffering.
LuAnn, Kristen and Heather are going “glamping” (glamorous camping). Ramona goes to get Sonja and finds her in bed, as usual, and not packed. Sonja says she can’t go, she says to tell the others she has asthma. Ramona doesn’t want to get Kristen pissed off. Sonja gets moving. Finally they all get to the pavillion in the woods. LuAnn wants glassware with stems. Two young guys are there to make sure they are comfortable. Heather corners Kristen and they start discussing the incident. As it gets heated, Kristen walks away to find her bedroom. They are all checking on the sleeping accommodations and decide who sleeps where. Ramona only cares about what kind of wine they have there. She needs wine to make things smoother for the group, or so she says. Ramona tells Kristin that she doesn’t take care of her guests and that she has been doing all the work and acting like the hostess. LuAnn isn’t happy with Ramona’s attitude and making Kristin feeling like crap. Heather shows up and she seems tipsy. They chat about who is bossy and who isn’t. Kristen then asks Heather if she is bossy and controlling with Carole?
And then Heather stand up and says I am now and forever “Boss B*tch!” Kristen keeps yelling that Heather is bossy and she should own it. She even tells her that she bosses her husband around. Heather gets offended and puts a stop to it. Carole says it’s insulting to judge someone else’s marriage. Carole says Kristen was getting herself in hot water at dinner. Ramona is starting to feel bad for Kristen and she takes Kristen off to the side to calm her down. Kristen is shocked to see Ramona on her side. Ramona also thinks Heather’s husband hides behind her, like he is afraid of his shadow. Too bad Heather didn’t hear that! Talk about throwing fuel on the fire!
It’s a new day! Everyone wakes up. Heather seems to have a hangover and says Kristen is mean and out of line. Meanwhile Kristen phones her husband outside the cabin and tells him what is going on. She tells him she told Heather she is bossy. Josh doesn’t think it’s a flaw, it’s just who she is. Carole says she is bossy on the inside and she jokes about bossing Heather around. Ramona and Sonja are in their bedroom trying to get ready for the rodeo. Big discussion on what jeans to wear. Such a dilemma! They finally all meet up and get in the car to head to the rodeo. There are 2 cars, so the groups are divided so that Heather and Kristen can each complain about the other. When they get there they find themselves all overdressed compared to the crowd. They find the roping of the calves exciting for some reason. They go to the port-a-potty and there is no toilet paper! Like a Seinfeld episode, “not a square to spare.” Kristen and Heather are stuck on a complaining broken record. Carole tells Kristen to apologize for talking about Heather’s marriage. Kristen doesn’t think she is at fault for speaking the truth and she feels she should get an apology. Back at the cabins, everyone freaks out, they think there is a bear in the woods. Turns out it’s a prank, it’s just Carole in a fur coat that she got on eBay for $600. Thank God someone has a sense of humor. I wish I had $600 to throw away on a prank.
Last night at the ranch and Kristen has arranged a nice dinner. Kristen is upset over her fight with Heather. She doesn’t want to lose her as a friend. Kristen thinks they will chat at dinner and get over it. They pile into an open wagon and head off to their final dinner. It reminds me of Little House On The Prairie. There is a very, very tall cowboy to meet them at their destination. They are all amazed like they never saw a very tall man before. How fake is that? Kristen managed to invite a bunch of cowboys to their dinner to liven things up. This is right up Sonja’s alley. She immediately digs her boot heels in and rounds them all up for herself. I was waiting for her to hog tie them so they couldn’t get away. The rest of them throw hatchets at a target and Heather hits the bullseye. Everyone loves throwing sharp objects. The dinner is an outdoor BBQ. There is tension at the table and Ramona is acting as mediator, tells Kristen and Heather to talk and resolve their issues. Kristen gets up and asks Heather if she would like to go down to the river. Heather says she is scared. Kristen says she had a rough day to excuse her behavior. Heather says she shouldn’t have brought up her marriage. Kristen says she took it the wrong way. Heather tells her she is dramatic and she should be apologizing. Heather asks Kristen how does she think Jon would feel if he knew she said, at a table full of women, that she controls him. Kristen says she thinks he would agree. Wow. Then Kristen sort of apologizes. Heather accepts it and they patch it all up and hug. Kristen thinks they all had a pretty good time after all is said and done. They enjoy their last dinner. And they all live happily ever after . . . NOT!
Now to go home and fill Aviva in on everything. I hope no one complains that Aviva didn’t go with them. Fake asthma or real asthma, I think she did the smartest thing not to go.
Picture Credit: BRAVO