“Everybody Thinks We’re Drag Queens,” is the title of this episode. Why? Because Carole, LuAnn, Sonja and Kristen attend a parade on the boardwalk of Coney Island in Mermaid costumes, but it is all for a good cause.
Meanwhile, “Ghostwriter-Gate” lives for another episode! Are we milking this “What The Hell Moment” or what? We continue where we left off, at Luann’s house in the Hamptons, with a showdown between the annoying image consultant, Amanda and Heather. No one seems to know Amanda, or as Carole likes to call her “Mindy,” except for Aviva and yet the two rarely speak to each other. Amanda wants to deck Heather, but when Heather calls her bluff she wanders off to go annoy Carole, who is still trying to have it out with Aviva. Amanda gets in Carole’s face, and an irritated Carole says, “I don’t even know you Mindy.” Heather comes to Carole’s rescue and tries to get rid of Amanda by telling her to leave. Then Heather asks Luann to tell Amanda to leave. Meanwhile Amanda continues to harass Carole…until Luann, using her most royal Marie Antoinette “Let them eat cake” flair, pulls her away and convinces her to have some cake. Carole and Aviva continue to battle the Ghostwriter-Gate. Aviva wants more support from her. Heather doesn’t like Aviva, and says she manipulative and dangerous and f*cks with people’s careers. Heather gets in Aviva’s face. Heather calls Aviva a liar, slanderer and a character assassinator. The chivalrous Reid gets angry, no one talks to his wife this way! He says he was there when three people told Aviva that Carole had a Ghost-Writer. Reid doesn’t like Carole or Heather attacking his wife. No sir! Sonja tries to defend Aviva. She seems to say that Aviva didn’t write a novel after all, she wrote a memoir and that doesn’t take much talent. Eight minutes of nonstop squabbling and I have a headache. Heather tells Aviva off one more time on her way out the door…and at one point says, “Don’t tell me anything you Mother F*cker!” All of a sudden Heather has a “street” reputation with the girls because she used the “F“ bomb a couple of times. Maybe Heather could cross-over to Mob Wives?
Sonja has a brunch and flirts with Harry because she can’t stand his current girlfriend. Heather and Carole can’t make it, so Aviva catches a break. Sonja is very sympathetic to Aviva’s plight with her issues with the girls. Then Sonja loses a tooth. Luann is not impressed with the denture adhesive talk. I would leave this out but frankly, a toothless Sonja makes me laugh.
Finally we get to the big event, the Mermaid parade on Coney Island! Carole is the Queen! She will lead the parade. The parade is to raise money for the community for the losses it suffered during storm Sandy. The girls, Carole, Kristen, Heather and Luann are at a costume store. They all need mermaid costumes. They chat about the fight between Carole and Aviva while trying on costumes. I mean who can get enough of this fight?
Later, Carole and Kristen meet to get made up for the parade and Carole brings in a custom made costume. After all she is the Queen. Sonja has a friend who will literally throw something together for her. Why do I have a feeling that Sonja will show up as a burlesque Mermaid? Sonja has a red wig and lord knows what else she will be wearing.
The parade! Carole loves being part of the parade, Kristen and Luann end up on the wrong float. Instead of going to the float with high school teens, they decide to hop on the float with drag queens, so they will fit right in. Sonja broke another tooth. I am nicknaming Sonia “Snaggletooth” for this season. Bravo please send her to the dentist! Sonja’s homemade costume is falling apart. They announce “Karen” (Carole) as queen of the parade. Someone couldn’t get their one line straight! I have to say, much to my surprise, Carole’s gold shimmering costume was stunning and she wore it well, all the others were tacky. Can Bravo please help Sonia finance real costumes for burlesque shows, parades, and all other events? If you can’t afford to buy her one, please rent one.
Aviva gets an email from the Becky, the girl who still lives at the farm where Aviva lost her leg when she was six. Becky seems to be carrying a burden all these years concerning the accident, but hasn’t kept in touch with Aviva for 35 years. Reid and Aviva plan a drive up to the farm. Apparently a chauffeur is driving them up there so they can chat for three and a half hours about the accident, how exhausting. Aviva tells Reid the story on the ride up, like he hasn’t heard it a thousand times before and again when he helped her with her book. Aviva meets Becky. Reid graciously disappears to go work on the internet while the girls catch up. Aviva senses Becky has been feeling bad all these 35 years. Aviva tells Becky that she saved her life, she turned off the machine. Becky feels guilty because they were playing together. Aviva asks to see the machine that took her leg. We get a close up view and explanation of exactly how the accident happened. Aviva wants to turn it on to face her fears. Aviva thanks Becky for her cathartic experience. I think this would have been a great storyline to spend more time on…especially the catching up part. Oh well.
I have to say, Aviva always seems much more likable when she isn’t around the other women and producers of the show. I can’t wait to read Carole’s blog, it’s always better than the show! Carole looks great in red hair. Heather can always start a bodyguard guard company if YummyTummy fails. I don't miss Ramona, but if they get rid of Amanda, I would welcome her back with open arms. Sonja needs to stop being so cheap when it comes to her teeth and costumes. Kristen seems lost in a corn maze, never knowing what the hell is going on. Luann is so low key she is actually likable!