Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6E4

Sonja's top is just a little loose, oops.

They are calling this episode “Holla in The Hamptons,” which makes me think it’s about Heather, but who cares? I want to see more about Ghostwriter/Book-Gate!

Sonja is late for her burlesque rehearsal. What the hell is she thinking? She says she is hosting a show for charity but really, is she serious? She is screaming like every move is causing her pain…maybe she is too old for this activity? All the others seem to humor her. It reminds me of the kid’s story, The Emperor’s New Clothes, where no one wants to tell him he is naked and ridiculous.

Carole and Kristen drive to the Hamptons, and Carole is not a fan of the Hamptons but wants to support Sonja. The ladies, Carole, Heather and Kristen, are on the beach with a bunch of young surfing instructors. They have a hell of a time getting into their wetsuits. Heather and Kristen seem to be surfing pretty well, but Carole just can’t stand up on the board. However, she did enjoy her 19 year old instructor Charlie and she didn’t drown.

Carole got out there, it's more than I would do!

Sonja is driving to the Hamptons with a car-full of interns, the kind who aren’t smart enough to open a door when a guest rings the bell. Even Kristen suggests Sonja should get one competent intern and maybe even pay them, rather than have an entourage of ignoramuses. The Mercedes seems to be falling apart so they have to stop. Sonja is not at all prepared for her performance tomorrow. Big surprise. She doesn’t know what she will wear, what she will perform, or what she is doing. Ramona is in Africa on vacation, so she is no help. She decides to use vintage 1920’s costumes and she throws something together because she is too cheap to buy a real costume. They sold 500 tickets for this event, can you imagine? Sonja decides she doesn’t want the professional girls behind her for the show, she will do the show alone. She clearly doesn’t know what she is doing, but she’ll do it all alone. Great idea.

Harry must have something, 

but I'll be damned if I know what it is.

Sidebar: Kristen doesn’t get Harry’s appeal. Thank goodness someone else is on the same page as I am. Basically, she disses his looks. I find myself agreeing with Kristen more and more…maybe she is the “smart” one?

Luann and Aviva are paired up…because they both have a strong dislike for Carole. Heather greets Luann. This girl Amanda is in the mix and seems to be irking everyone by intruding into their group. Aviva is “catching Luann up to speed.” The good news is she made up with Ramona, the bad news is she is at war with Carole. Luann can understand that because Carole never had a good thing to say about her. Luann and Aviva are BFFs now...or at least for a minute…or until Luann writes a book.

BFF's until next week?

The seating arrangements are a bit off. Sonja must have a sense of humor putting Carole next to Aviva. Carole was not going to sit next to Aviva, so she and Heather find better seats.

Sonja walks out on stage. There is a wardrobe malfunction almost immediately. I don’t think she filled up her costume very well and was putting on more than a burlesque show. Heather is increasingly annoyed with the rudeness of Amanda, who is talking throughout the show. Carole comments on the show saying, “there is a cringe factor, it’s not Moulin Rouge…but it’s Sonja Morgan.” I’m not as nice as Carole. I think the show was beyond pathetic…maybe I just don’t get burlesque or Sonja?

Amanda: Not the best image I've ever seen!

Amanda turns out to be an image consultant and Aviva’s friend…who is rumored to have been brought in by BRAVO to help Aviva…but the other girls don’t like her. I don’t like her either, so maybe she needs to overhaul her own image? Just sayin’.

Sidebar: I sit here, through all this, patiently waiting for a Ghostwriter-Gate brawl! Bring it!

Luann’s house in the Hamptons…they are grilling steaks. Amanda shows up “like a bad rash” says Sonja, “every time Harry is around.” All the ladies and spouses are there. Can Carole and Aviva avoid each other? Heather dislikes Amanda, she was rude at Sonja’s show and now she wants to “crawl up her ass.” Carole feels awkward at Luann’s house since their past was a little hostile. Carole wants to clear the air and apologize for some of the things she said in the past. Carole and Luann make amends and move forward. They hug. So now what? Luann can’t be Aviva’s BFF?

Who said what? Damned if I know.

Aviva says she was called seven names by Carole, and Sonja can’t imagine it. Sonja supports Aviva about her book. Kristen thinks the whole thing should be let go.  Luann is dumbfounded. Heather and Carole pop into the conversation. Heather says Aviva won’t own what she said. Aviva says Heather threatened her. Heather says Aviva character assassinates everyone and she isn‘t going to be next. Everyone starts talking all at once! Who the hell knows what they are saying? Luann breaks it all up and says they are going to leave Carole and Aviva alone to talk. But they don’t. Luann felt totally out of control in her own house. Amanda continues to irritate the others. She wants to deck Heather. Heather tells her to bring it on! Holla!

Next week more Book-Gate, the story line that keeps on giving! They even drop “F” Bombs, like Mob Wives! Now this I can relate to!

All in all , not a worthwhile episode. How fitting for April Fool’s Day.

Picture Credit: BRAVO

Real Housewives of New York: The Ghostwriter-Gate Liar?

Did you hire a writer? 

No, I didn't...

Did you write it yourself?

No, I didn't...

You decide…but it’s a no brainer.

On the show Aviva and Carole’s conversation:

Carole: Did you end up hiring a writer?
Aviva: I didn’t.
Carole: (appearing a little surprised) So no one’s ghosting it?
Aviva: No. It was like writing an email…

Then Aviva’s Blog posted same night as show:

“OK, I will once and for all, answer Carole’s burning question, "Did I write Leggy Blonde all by myself?" All by myself? No way. I wrote the initial draft then continued working on it with my own superb team, and I don’t think I could have written the book without them -- certainly it wouldn't be the same. I didn't thank them on the title page; I did in the Acknowledgements but still, regrettably, probably left out a couple of dozen. I admire Carole for doing her book all by herself; it’s a huge task. It was for me anyway.”

Now let’s see what Carole said on the show:

Aviva: You wrote a lot of essays. Right, right. Did you ghost your books?
Carole: (seemingly stunned) Are you kidding me? No, I mean I’m a writer, I don’t know.
Aviva: You didn’t?
Carole: No I didn’t.
Aviva: So even though What Remains was your first book, you did it yourself, right?
Carole: I did it myself. I’m a writer, that’s what I do for 20 years. I thought you knew that.

Carole’s Blog posted the same night as the show:

"1. Aviva Says: Bill Whitworth ghostwrites my books.
The Truth: Bill Whitworth is a real person, and an editor. He's not a writer and he's not a ghostwriter -- not mine or anyone else's. He's retired now, after a long and distinguished career, but still considered one of the best and most respected editors in the business. Bill makes a cameo on the show!

2. Aviva Says: Her "Publishing House" passed on my novel.
The Truth: They didn't pass, they made an offer. They were one of six publishers who bid on it, but they lost in a heated auction.

3. Aviva Says: Her "Publishing House" told her I hired a ghostwriter.
The Truth: Houses can't talk. Aviva hired a ghostwriter. I have a professional relationship with her "Publishing House" and no one there told her my books are ghostwritten. No one wants to talk to Aviva about anything – surprise, surprise."

Carole went on WWHL the same night as the show and once again she addressed all Aviva's lies with the facts. She has never used a ghostwriter. The mere thought of it is insulting.

So who was lying on the show? It’s clear even to the village idiot. It’s Aviva. She comes clean herself in the blog. Carole shouldn’t have to try to defend herself and her career against absurd allegations and lies. It constitutes slander. Maybe that’s why Aviva was very low key the day after the show and just retweeted the occasional tweets of support she got? Guilty conscience?

I really dislike liars. Carole’s Blog goes into much more detail about all the circumstances surrounding the lunch conversation and what preceded it. Maybe Aviva’s memory is faltering even at age 44? In any case, if this is going to come up again in future episodes, I like to be clear and have all the little pieces of the puzzle in place.

I encourage you to read Carole’s wonderful blog, she does a much better job than I ever could of setting the record straight.