Mob Wives: Recap "Cabin in the Woods" Ep 602

This is why I call everybody dildos 

Because  they are the fakes bunch of d*cks I ever saw.

Drita meets Renee for lunch to see how everything went at the Mermaid Parade because she couldn't be there. Everything starts off very pleasant. Renee tells her the parade was great. She shows her pictures. Drita spots Karina and is impressed with how grown up she is. Renee tells her that although things went well a lot of crazy stuff happened and Drita isn't prepared for what she his going to tell her.  Renee says Love showed up and she saw Carla. Love apologized to Carla for what happened at Drita's party, but said that it was all because someone was in her ear egging her on. Drita says, "Don't tell me my name came up." Renee says, "Yeah, and not good." Renee continues to tell Drita, Love told Carla that you told her you would bring Carla to the party and walk out so she could hit Carla. Drita says "that's a lie," but I didn't see the explosive reaction we all would expect from that story from Drita.  Hmmm. Drita just denied it and smiled. Drita says "I would never walk out and let someone get set up." Drita says "the last time I saw Love it was three years ago and she was dragging Carla by her f*ckin' hair. Those two hated each other and now she is trying' to pin some rat move on me!" Drita asks if anyone told Love she was full of sh*t?" Renee says no. Drita says, it figures, nice to know everyone has my back. Drita wants to know if Love likes Carla now, like everyone else. Drita says this crew has nothing in common except hating her. Drita starts to get angry. "You are all fake ass mother f*ckers." Drita is pissed and says Renee made up all kinds of stories about Carla and now they are friends. Renee doesn't understand why Drita has any issues with Carla when they were "tighter than a clam's ass" and never had an argument. Renee says she was just filling Drita in on what was said, so why is Drita starting in with her? Drita says everyone hated Carla and now everyone is friends with her. Drita shows Renee her phone and says she calls everybody "dildos" because that's the fakest bunch of dicks she ever saw in her life. Renee is stunned and Drita gets up to walk out. Renee feels Drita is taking it all out on her. Drita is fed up with all of them. Maybe the question isn't why is everybody friends with Carla now, BUT why isn't Drita "friends like that" with her any more? Maybe something happened at the end of season 3 to change their friendship?  I wonder why Drita never mentions the "pack" they [Karen, Carla, Ramona and Drita] all made and she broke when she sold them out? Now that would be a great sit-down for season 6!

Drita is done with the conversation

Brittany and her mother, Andrea talk about the parade.  Brittany tells her Renee wasn't too crazy about her. She judged her right off the bat. She said she told Renee not to talk about her mom or she would charge her. Andrea says would any one of those women take ten years for a man?  Brittany thinks Renee is being hypocritical to judge her based on what her father has done when she is in the same boat as Karen and AJ. Andrea says they think their way is the only way. Not everything is about hitting, that's like animals. Brittany says she will raise her hands if she has to. Andrea agrees if someone gets in her personal space and threatens her she should defend herself.

Karen meets Renee and Carla for brunch. Karen is glad they are in a good place, they dealt with their situation and moved past it. Karen starts off the conversation with her relationship with Storm, they are having communication issues. She says she is miserable and wants to get away from all the drama. Carla says she has has many good times in the Hamptons and met a lot of great people, so she rented a house for all the girls to have a fun weekend. Renee and Karen are in. Karen wants to ask her cousin, Frances, to come and Brittany.  Renee expresses that she has an issue with Brittany. Karen just wants Renee to give her a chance. Carla says she will invite all the girls, but NOT Drita. Drita hasn't called her so that's that. Renee jumps in with "speaking of Drita" . . . she tells them she was trying to bring Drita up to speed about the parade and Love and she totally flipped out. Drita told her, "You're a fake you're a phony," screaming and yelling. She is so angry that Renee and Carla are friends. Carla says it makes no sense she is angry about them being friends. Renee says, "The b*tch sat across from me and called me a name that no one has ever ever had the nerve to say to my face." Karen says Drita is the fake and the phony. Her actions don't match up to her words. Karen says, if someone is throwing dirt on your name who do you kill the messenger or the person who is throwing the dirt? I think Drita would probably kill both the messenger and the person throwing dirt with her blinded wrench. Don't forget, violence is the answer. Renee says the bottomline is that she has to have one more conversation with her. The last conversation. She can't do it any more. She's done. Renee may be done, but Carla and Karen are no where near done judging from the clips we've seen. Looks like a few more "meetings" are in the cards for season 6.

Manhattan. Renee goes to meet Marissa who is getting made up. They know each other through her boyfriend, O.Z. Marissa is doing photoshoot for a jewelry line. Marissa models for Renee. They take a break to catch up on things. Renee tells her about the Mermaid Parade and Brittany. Renee tells her why she feels the way she does, Brittany stirs up feelings for her about her ex-husband and father. Marissa doesn't care for people who cooperate because her boyfriend was sentenced for 5 years for narcotics when someone ratted him out to soften up their sentence. Then Renee invites Marissa to the Hamptons to join the girls. She warns her Brittany has a mouth on her, Marissa says she does too.

Shopping for Health Food

Is not Ang's favorite thing

Big Ang and Drita are go shopping for some health food on doctors orders. They talk about Drita's book. Lee doesn't want her to do it. Ang tells her she should share her story if she wants. Ang says she heard about the Mermaid Parade and how Love said Drita set up Carla. Drita is disgusted that after three years this BS story between Carla and Love is just now coming out. Ang says she doesn't believe a word Love says. Drita says if she was standing there she would have helped Carla. Now Carla jumped on the bandwagon with the others. Drita says Renee and Karen bashed Carla everyday for a year. Carla disappeared off the face of the earth and then came out from Karen's ass and then jumped into Renee's. Ang tells her she was invited to the Hamptons. Drita tells her to go and relax. Ang says right now Drita is the odd man out. Drita says Ang should tell them she has never seen faker girls, never in history. She wants them to talk to her one by one to her face because they are lying.

Storm has no time to talk about the relationship

Karen meets up with Storm. She says they can't move forward until he understands how she is feeling. He is concerned with his business and making money. She wants to talk about their relationship. She doesn't want to argue or fight. He says he is handling his business and money and has no time for this conversation. She wants to build a relationship but he leaves her sitting there. Karen is pissed he can't make time for her. "Enjoy your life Storm." and she leaves. This relationship has has more than it's share of ups and downs. I hope Karen takes the time to think about whether they can move forward or if she should cut her losses. Every woman deserves to be loved and appreciated and listened to.

The girls meet up at Karen's house to go to the Hamptons. Brittany and Renee greet each other. Brittany isn't concerned with Renee and her opinions. Renee still has reservations. Ang, Marissa and Carla are there, Marissa is introduced to Brittany and they all get into the limo to have fun with a few drinks on the way to the Hamptons. Marissa is a killjoy according to Brittany. She is complaining about the lack of air in the car. They finally arrive. The house is beyond beautiful. Marissa doesn't understand the excitement, it's a cabin in the woods and she'd rather be at the Ritz. Carla looks for Renee, she is sleeping. Renee is going to relax while the others go have fun. Marissa says she is reserved and not wild, while Brittany is a partier.  Ang tells them Drita is bugging out about her book and Lee doesn't want he to write it. Karen thinks this is karma for the way she flipped out over her book.

Will Lee ever support Drita?

Carla wants to know why Drita got so mad at Renee. Ang says she said it was all bulls*t. Karen says no, no, no, Love told her a long time ago Drita came to her house and said she was not sticking up for Carla. Carla says Love told her that Drita said she could do whatever she wanted to Carla, she didn't care. Ang asks if she believes Love? Carla says no she doesn't. Ang says Love is just a lying troublemaker. Karen wants to know what makes Drita more believable? Drita has been saying Carla is not a friend "like that" she has the mentality of a "mothball." Karen and Carla consider what Drita said and it seems to give credibility to what Love was saying. Carla said she considered her a good friend of hers and stuck up for her 100% and she talks this way about her, if anyone is fake and phony it's Drita. Brittany wants to know what does it mean that she wasn't a "friend like that?" Marissa is annoyed that Brittany is butting into a conversation when she doesn't even know Drita. Ang tells them that Drita called them all phonies. Carla wants to know why. Ang says because they all hated each other and now they act like best friends. Karen says when she gets back home the first thing she is going to do is call Drita because she doesn't talk behind her back, she has to say it to her face. Carla says they didn't come to the Hamptons to talk about Drita. Karen says Drita doesn't value friendship. Just makes me miss Ramona, who had Drita pegged from day one with her "Flip-floppin' floozie."

Drita's house. Drita is home writing her book and Lee doesn't have her back about the book. Giselle walks in and watches Drita write. Giselle wants twenty bucks for helping her. They have a little chat about "daddy." The story goes from happy to sad to happy she tells her daughter. Reliving her past is one of the hardest things she has ever done. Her two girls always have her back. Drita is determined to write her book whether Lee likes it or not. I'll believe it when I see it.

"Lush" is the new buzz word of Season 6

If you are playing a drinking game tonight, this is the word you want!

Back to the Hamptons, next day. The girls have hangovers and Renee is rested. Brittany strolls in and then Marissa. Brittany keeps talking about drinking and Marissa says she can't hang, especially with this lush. Brittany doesn't know what a "lush" is. Renee explains it's someone who likes to drink and Brittany says she likes to have fun. Brittany doesn't care for Marissa's "sober" attitude. Carla wants to fill Renee in on what happened yesterday. Carla says she didn't just call Renee a fake and phony but everyone except Ang. Renee wants to know why not Ang? Renee says she and Ang had a huge argument and were able to say they were sorry and work through it. So if Ang isn't being a phony to Renee what the hell is Drita's problem? Carla says in the last couple of years Drita has become a whole different person, she acts like she is JLo walking down the street. Renee thinks Drita needs to sit down and talk to every one of them except for Renee because e she doesn't give a flying f*ck what Drita thinks.  Renee is done talking about Drita.

Carla is in the mood for good wine. They are at a vineyard, tasting some wine, and Marissa doesn't like some of the wines while Brittany is busy finishing every glass. Marissa is really tired of Brittany always being focused on alcohol. They go outside and take a walk around the vineyard grounds and have a seat. Carla says she is having a little cocktail party that night with all her friends. Marissa calls Brittany a lush one too many times. Brittany says she likes to drink and have fun, she's good. But Brittany takes offense to Marissa's taunting and wants her to shut up. Marissa is not about to change her tune. Brittany is tired of being judged, she wanted to break her glass and stick it in her throat. Marissa says she was saying it in fun. The two have a little argument, yelling in front of the others. Brittany says don't worry about how many drinks she has. Now, if you are wondering how many drinks Brittany had this episode don't ask me, I was too busy blogging.

P.S. Mob Mistress wants to know why Drita is orange? Or does the color on her television need adjusting.

The RECAP for the first episode Mobbed Up Mermaids  HERE

Making of the Mob: Recap "Equal Opportunity Gangster" Ep 102

Lucky Luciano takes Rothstein's death hard.

Episode two begins with Arhtur Rothstein, Lucky Luciano's mentor and father figure, having a streak of bad luck. Nothing is going his way. Rothstein loves high stakes gambling. He is addicted to gambling. Rothstein joins a three day poker game with big mobsters from out of town. He loses a great deal of money. He finally gets fed up and leaves the game, saying he isn't going to pay because the game is fixed. He is gunned down and murdered. Meyer Lansky gets the call that Rothstein is dead and has to tell Lucky. Lucky takes the news hard. He decides to put off his hit on Joe Mazaria for the time being. Dozens of gangsters come to New York for Rothstein's funeral. Many gangsters liked Rothstein because he helped everyone.

Rothstein's Funeral

A big problem for the mob takes place when the government raids speakeasies and arrests many gangsters. This is all brought about because of Al Capone, in Chicago, who is ruthless and out of control. He leads the big gangland murder called the St. Valentine's Day Massacre and gets the attention of the Feds.

St. Valentine's Day Massacre

The Feds get involved and the mob is losing money. Mazaria goes to Luciano, knowing he was friendly with Capone in his younger years. He wants him to rein in Al Capone and keep him under control so his acts aren't publicized and don't attract the attention of the Feds. The Feds are cracking down on the mob. There is a big meeting of the mob, all the important mobsters are invited, including Al Capone. They start complaining that because of Al they are losing business. Al gets mad, and says he isn't turning himself in. Lucky talks to Al and tells him this is about the greater good. The law isn't going to let up on them. Lucky tells him to plea to a minor charge and he will look after his business for him while he is away. He convinces Al to take the fall, and he is sentenced to just a year in prison thanks to mob connections. Lucky earns big points and respect with mobsters across the country.

The Stock Market crashes, worst economic disaster of the country. Luciano sees this disaster as a big business opportunity. They use the money they made in bootlegging during prohibition to give businesses loans at high interest rates. Loan sharking brought in big money. When people didn't pay the loans, gangsters were sent out to beat them. People learned to pay off the mafia. If they didn't pay the mafia, they would take 10% of their business. Luciano was earning 20% interest every week, but still had to give a cut to Joe Mazaria. A surprise attack in May, 1930 leaves one of Joe's warehouses in ruins. It's a rival mob boss from Sicily looking to start a war. They target Joe's operation in New York. Mussolini was doing away with the mafia in Sicily and imprisoning them. They leave Italy to come the United States to establish themselves here. Mazaria talks to his crew and wants them to watch every move the Italian mobster, Salvatore Maranzano, makes. In May of 1930 an all out war breaks out as Mazaria and Maranzano fight to take control of New York. The streets are turned into a battle field and it's called the Castellammarese War. Anyone in the street could be killed. One day the rival mob kidnaps Lucky Luciano as he walks the streets with Meyer Lansky. The sicilian boss, Maranzano, has his men give Lucky a beating and torture him for 8 hours, to send a message to Mazaria and his crew. Luciano is taken to Staten Island where he is dumped and left for dead. Luciano survives against all odds. His quick recovery earns him the nickname "Lucky." Luciano decides that Mazaria has to be removed because he feels he is the better boss and he wants to form an alliance with Maranzano.

Lucky goes to meet with Maranzano. He tells him he respects him and wants to work for him. Maranzano is skeptical because he works for Mazaria. Luciano tells him he will kill Mazaria himself. Maranzano says he respects him and he will give him a "cut" of Mazaria's money. Luciano says he doesn't want a cut, he wants it all. Maranzano agrees. And Luciano says, no more boss of bosses.

Luciano wants to put an end to the Mazaria-Maranzano war by killing Mazaria. Luciano needs to buy the loyalty of Mazaria's bodyguards so they can get close to Mazaria to kill him. There is no loyalty, everyone can be bought for a price. Luciano invites Mazaria to his favorite restaurant in Coney Island. Luciano leaves to go to the bathroom and two mobsters come in and shoot Mazaria in cold blood. Joe "the boss" is dead after running things for 10 years. Luciano inherits the empire, but still has to answer to Maranzano. Maranzano calls a meeting of the most powerful mobsters in New York. He announces the war is over. He wants all the bosses to serve under one boss. Maranzano declares himself to be "capo di tutti capi, the boss of all bosses." Luciano doesn't like this. Soon after the meeting Maranzano becomes paranoid and is convinced the other bosses are conspiring to kill him. He wants to kill everyone around him who he suspects might betray him. First on his hit list is Lucky Luciano.

Frank Costello learns there is a contract out on Luciano. They have to kill Maranzano before Luciano is killed. They have to figure out a way to get to him. Luciano gets an idea. He knows the IRS is investigating people for tax evasion. The IRS is going to be the one who will put gangsters in jail. Luciano, together with Lansky and Seigel, devise a plan. They disguise themselves as IRS agents and pay Maranzano a visit. In no time Maranzano is dead. In less than 5 months Lucky has taken out the two biggest mob bosses in New York and can now take his place as the king of New York.

Picture credit: AMC

Mob Wives: Recap “Drunken Monkey Business,” Ep 502

The Showdown

The last few minutes transcribed at end of blog!

Here we go! The episode should have been called Gnat’s Runaway Mouth!

Karen has been dating Storm for two years and Karina is back in New York with her. Storm produces music and has a studio. Karen is in the music studio and Renee drops by. Renee tells Karen that Drita and Ang didn’t speak to her at the party all because of an outsider, GNATalie. It was very uncomfortable for her until Karen arrived. Maybe Renee would have approached Drita and Ang if they “weren’t so far lost up Gnat’s f*ckin’ ass.”  I want to know where is the loyalty and respect for Renee? Who the hell is GNATalie? She does hair and make-up for dead people. She isn’t even from New York! Drita wants to crack her head open because a crackhead [Gnat] tells her something about Renee. They both agree Drita is wrong for taking Gnat’s word for anything. Karen tells Renee she isn’t worth it, GNATalie is a cop- caller. Karen says Gnat and her boyfriend are complaining Karen threatened their lives on social media from 2,500 miles away in Arizona. And Karen says, Gnat attacked her family over the internet.

Gnat and London chat and Gnat calls Karen a rat five times in less than 30 seconds. He doesn’t want her getting crazy, but Gnat says she is Italian and Sicilian and she doesn’t f*ck around with rats. Hearing Gnat say that almost embarrasses me that I am Italian and Sicilian. She is a disgrace. “Karen lives by her last name, the Gravano name is stamped rat.” Gnat is upset by the disrespect Storm showed her and says she might smack Karen in the face. Well, there are two sides to every story and we can’t believe anything the Gnat says, so we’ll see. Gnat says Storm threatened London and Gnat in a nightclub for offending Karen on social media. London tries to calm her down. It’s not working. Gnat just keeps ranting over Karen, someone she doesn’t even know! London hates it that Gnat is going crazy talking about Karen. Gnat wants him to have her back, but he just wants her to calm down and not overreact. Good luck with that London!

Take her word or mine

Renee has an issue with Drita all because of what Gnat whispered in her ear. Renee is meeting with Drita to try and resolve their issues. Drita is so heated about what Gnat said she can barely drive to meet Renee. Drita is waiting until she hears what Renee has to say because she has known her for along time. They get right into the discussion. Drita tells her, “if you called me a f*ckin’ rat I’m cracking your f*ckin’ head.” Renee is shocked and tells her you can’t believe anything Gnat says. She is trying to ruin their friendship. Renee says you have to take her word or mine. Renee says she was wrong for putting Lee’s name on her mouth, but all she said was why he was in prison. Drita doesn’t know if Gnat can be that crazy to make up something like this. Let me be the first to tell Drita yes, Gnat can be that crazy. She has to find out if Gnat is telling the truth or not. Renee despises Gnat because she has tried to turn people against her that she has known over 20 years. Renee and Drita make amends. Renee wants to try to make amends with Ang too. Drita says maybe she can work it out with Gnat. Renee lets her know that it’ll be a cold day in hell before that happens.

Rat family history! She's a cop-caller!

Karen and Ang drop in to see Drita at Lady Boss. Drita has no problems with Karen and wants to keep it that way. Ang is having a party at the Drunken Monkey and she is inviting Gnat and London. Karen speaks up right away. She doesn’t like this girl, she doesn’t exist in her f*ckin’ life. Karen takes out her phone and reads the tweets Gnat wrote saying Renee is a rat and so is Sammy the Bull, history rat family. She tells them her boyfriend, Storm, warned London to control Gnat. Gnat said she needed 24 hour security against her, an order of protection and she is going to call the cops. She’s a cop- caller. This is the person they are hanging out with. Karen says they know her over 20 years and is she the type to make up stories? She reminds them that they do not know anything about the Gnat. If they stay with trash they will become trash. Karen ends by saying if Gnat has anything to say about Karen’s family that will be the biggest f*ckin’ mistake of her life. I think Karen said it all, but are Drita and Ang listening?

Renee goes to Motor Vehicles to register AJ’s new car and she can’t because he has 6 outstanding tickets totaling 3,000 dollars. He totaled the first car. She calls Karen. Karen tells her he is making bad decisions and it won’t end up well. Renee thinks AJ is keeping secrets. She is afraid he might commit crimes to pay for his mistakes if she doesn’t take care of them. I am worried AJ may be acting out because of all the serious issues he has had to deal with concerning his parents. It’s been overwhelming. Maybe he needs an outside, professional counselor to talk to?

Drita meets with the Gnat. She tells her she met with Renee. Drita tells her what Renee had to say. Gnat asks what do I gain by lying? Gnat tells Drita that since they are developing a friendship she wanted to tell her the truth. Drita can’t figure out who to believe. Drita tells her she also met with Karen and Karen said she was a cop-caller. Gnat says Karen doesn’t know her and she is not a cop-caller. Gnat says Storm came over to talk to her and London in a nightclub and threatened them. London interceded and spoke to Storm. Gnat says Karen comes from a line of rats. Drita says if you have an issue with someone don’t go after their family. Gnat isn’t getting the message to leave family out of her issues with people. Drita says she wants to see how Gnat acts when she is face to face with Karen at the party. That’s the only way to get at the truth.

Renee’s house. AJ needs his mother to pick him up. Renee wants to talk to him about the unpaid tickets, totaling his car and his license being suspended. AJ is annoyed. Renee says he lied to her. Renee feels he has a bad attitude and is reckless. The accident cost her $42,000. Renee feels he is spoiled and defiant. She wants him to go stay with his grandfather for a while because he needs a man’s influence. He doesn’t respect her. She wants him to man up.

Karen and Storm are hanging out. They talk about Drita. Karen feels there is a future in this relationship. Karen tells him that Gnat is talking about him. Gnat says he threatened her and London. Storm says that’s not how it happened at all. He says they were both in the same place and London thought he recognized him. They had a conversation and then Storm told him about his girl [Gnat] disrespecting Karen and her family on social media. He warned him Karen wasn’t going to let it slide. He said things were cool with London and they even exchanged numbers. Everything was fine. Gnat is making up the whole situation. Karen tells him they were invited to Ang’s Drunken Monkey party, but Gnat and London are going to be there. Karen says she hopes Storm has bail money if Gnat gets in her face. I say Karen fans will put up the bail money and she should do what she’s gotta do.

"I'm just trying to keep GNATalie out of trouble.

I don't want no blood bath at my bar!"

Party time! Drunken Monkey 7th year anniversary! Everybody shows up. Ang and Gnat talk about Karen and Storm coming. Gnat gets off to a great start. She says she ain’t scared of nobody and she can handle “Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee.” Gnat calls Karen a rat. Ang says she shouldn’t blame Karen for what her father did. Once again Gnat asks who is Karen, with her family history, to be coming after me? Ang is losing it because Gnat doesn’t get it her point, you do not mention family.  When will everyone realize Gnat is as dumb as bricks? Drita shows up. Drita realizes she doesn’t know Gnat that long, but she wants the truth. Ang tells Drita that Gnat keeps mentioning Karen’s family calling them rats. Drita warns her she better not say that to Karen. Ang’s head is spinning. Gnat’s mouth is really out of control. What else is new?

Now Karen and Storm arrive. Gnat is wound up. Gnat wants London there because she is scared of Karen. Karen isn’t paying attention to this dumb b*tch. Gnat doesn’t want to ruin Ang’s party. As soon as Karen enters, Gnat scuttles away like a little cockroach. Storm, Karen and London chat and they are all cool with each other. Drita sees them all friendly and she’s like wait a minute that’s not what Gnat said. London says he doesn’t control Gnat, she does what she wants and it might not always be the best way. Gnat pops up in the conversation. Storm says he don’t talk about people he don’t know. Gnat is very offended, she feels what Storm said was directed at her. Now, because London made her look bad by being a peacemaker, Gnat is blaming Storm for his comment. Storm says London is straight up, no problem.

You didn't handle it! 

Why do you have to be a f*ckin' peacemaker?!?

Gnat is angry with London for not having her back. They go outside to argue, Drita and Ang go outside too. London tells Gnat he handled it and no one got hurt. He tells her to mind her business. When she is talking to women its her business, when he talks to a man it’s his business. Gnat is screaming that Storm just jerked her off! Gnat wants Drita to confirm that Storm jerked her off in front of her man by saying he doesn‘t talk about people he don‘t know. Drita can’t even make sense of what Gnat is saying. Who can? London just wants there to be peace, but Gnat is ready for a fight with somebody. She screams at London, “You shook his f*ckin hand!” Is this nut really serious? She marches into the bar and Drita runs in and gets her out. She tries to talk sense into her saying she shouldn’t talk to Karen when she is so angry at her boyfriend. Drita advises her to leave the men out of it. If she has a problem she should talk to Karen not Storm. Drita says if you approach a guy you’ll get beat up like a guy. Karen decides to go outside to see what is going on. Uh oh.

"I'm Karen"

Here is the best transcription of the last minutes I could get for you!

Karen goes outside. Karen and Gnat go face to face. Gnat gets in Karen’s face and asks about Storm’s remark. “Who does your man think he is threatening me in a nightclub and then wants to jerk me off in front of my man as I approach? I don’t get that.“ Karen calmly says she doesn’t allow people to talk to her like that. Gnat answers, “Who the f*ck are you?“ Karen says, “I’m Karen, who are you?“  Gnat says, “I’m GNATalie.” Karen says, “Watch your mother f*ckin’ mouth with me, I’m gonna lay you the f*ck out!” Gnat says, “Who sends a man to deal with a B*tch fight, who?“ Karen answers, “If you want to say this is a B*tch fight then your man must be a b*tch right?“ Gnat yells, “B*tch, f*ck you.” As Drita tries to get her to stop, Gnat calls Karen a f*ckin’ rat. Karen yells, “You called the cops you dumb b*tch!” And the cops arrive!

Seriously, can I even add my two cents to this? Do I need to? The Gnat speaks for herself. She is dumb as bricks and not to be believed. She doesn’t even have her facts straight. Never watched the previous seasons of Mob Wives. Doesn’t know any of the history. We know more than Gnat! Here is a tweet from last night just to prove the point:

Drita and Karen met on the show?

Gnat thinks Karen and Drita just met! She doesn’t know they were roommates or that Lee was Karen’s boyfriend for seven years before he married Drita. If Drita and Ang cannot see that Gnat is just a lowlife, nasty sh*t-stirrer that’s on them. Renee and Karen have her number and so do we!

Picture Credit VH1

Staten Island Law: Recap of Episodes 1 & 2

Michele and Elura

Both episodes center around the lives and business of Elura (blonde) and Michele (brunette). This includes time spent with various members of their family or home life, food shopping, visiting a plastic surgeon for a consult, and visits to the salon. In Staten Island, they explain, you need to pay attention to four things clothes, hair, nails and makeup! The two legal mediators have very full lives and have to manage their time well to get it all done. While they go through the course of their day, they throw popular “Staten Islandisms” into the mix and explain the jargon used there. Actually, I found that very funny and knew most of the expressions even though I was born and raised in Brooklyn. Both women talk very fast so we are actually getting an hour’s worth of words in 30 minutes! 

Episode 1 centers around a pre-nuptial agreement of an engaged couple, Jamie and Pamela. If they can’t agree then there will be no wedding. They have dated for three years and have been engaged for 7 months. The issue is that Jamie is a saver and pays close attention to money. Pamela is a spender with little to no regard for the value of a dollar. They are both teachers, so I can understand why Jamie would be concerned. Jamie’s real issue is that his father left him a house and he is afraid, if God forbid things don’t go right in the marriage, he would lose it. He wants the pre-nup. Pamela can’t even stand the word pre-nup because she associates it with divorce and feels it sets a bad tone to the start of a marriage. She also shared that it showed Jamie didn’t trust her. They tell all this to Elura and Michele. The mediators head over to their hair salon to discuss this issue and get “advice” from hairdressers and clients. In between the consultations, both separately and together, the ladies have time for family. They pop in to see Uncle Jerry, who is selling his business, I think it’s plumbing parts, and needs legal assistance (for free). The family calls her the “consigliore.” Michele’s mom invites everyone for Sunday dinner at 4 PM, a nice pot of sauce.  More issues are discussed concerning Pamela’s spending. She wants a specific dress that costs 10 to 20 thousand dollars, she has 300 guests invited to the wedding at a pricey place AND the honeymoon to Bora Bora to stay in a hut, which will run about 20 thousand too. Overall they estimate her dream wedding will cost the couple $100,000! 

The resolution. Michele and Elura explain what a pre-nup actually is and what the law is. The law says that any property you owned before the marriage you keep, it’s called “separate property.” Any property acquired during the marriage is called “marital property,” and would be divided. Jamie is relieved to hear that and decides he doesn’t need a pre-nup after all. Now, in addition, they have devised a budget plan for Pamela to curb her spending and teach her good habits in the future. She will have three separate accounts one for savings, one for household expenses, and a fun account. This is because the couple’s philosophy on money matters is so far apart. They want her to consider a different, less expensive dress and another location that is less expensive, with huts, for the honeymoon. Everyone is happy!

Premiere Celebration Cake!

Episode 2 focuses on an employer, employee dispute at a barber shop. But first the ladies make time to go shopping for bras and let us know that unfortunately, a 34DDD only comes in plain colors and design. While there, Michele announces that she thinks she needs plastic surgery for her boobs and stomach. She gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and even though she lost most of it, she has lose skin and other issues. Back to the dispute. Mike, the owner of the barber shop, feels that Tony, a great hair stylist, isn’t pulling his weight. He comes in late, he leaves when there are customers waiting and he is losing money. Tony explains that the place is poorly managed and that why both he and Mike are both losing money. It seems Andrew, at the front desk, assigns all the customers to Mike and Tony sits there doing nothing. When people get tired of waiting they leave. Tony says that has to change or he is leaving. Mike wants it to change, he wants to keep Tony. Everyone feels bad for Andrew, he is a good kid, but isn’t being efficient. 

So while they ponder what to do about the Barber Shop issue, the ladies go for a consult with Dr. Colen. Michele explains what she wants and shows the doctor who tells her what can be done. She sends Michele home to think about it so she doesn’t decide on impulse. Then the ladies visit their salon for more advice on this barber situation from hairdressers and clients. Michele and Elura meet with Tony and Mike and rehash all the issues. Then they propose their resolution. Tony should be made manager for a month, in which time he has to train Andrew to handle the customers more efficiently. If Andrew can’t grasp the concept of a more equal distribution, he has to go, nice kid or not. It’s a business decision. Otherwise Tony will leave and that will hurt business even more. Both Mike and Tony seem content with this plan. 

Both issues are tied up with a nice red bow and there is plenty of time for all the other things too…all in 30 minutes an episode.

MY TWO CENTS:

First the positive. I love the two ladies, their background story, and friendship. They have great personalities for television. I love the premise of the show, that they go around mediating people’s problems and solve them in 30 minutes. Of course I know we are seeing the edited version and more time must go into the mediation than we are seeing. I love the idea of Staten Island, the accents and lingo used there. I relate to all of that. OWN should be credited with a great original idea for a reality show! But what’s my problem?

Well, frankly, I think they are trying too hard to do too much in 30 minutes. I feel like I am in a race car. The ladies talk very fast. They are used to listening to each other and probably read each other’s minds at times, but we are not. You have to pay close attention or you will miss something. I also think that there should be more quality time spent on the mediation process. This is an opportunity to be entertaining as well as educational. The viewers can actually learn something from the legal issues that come up. The time that is being spent on other things, for example food shopping, would be better spent advising and consulting the people needing mediation, in my opinion.

Another thing that bugged me was why did these legal experts took their clients issues to the salon to brain storm and discuss it? I am not sure what the purpose of that is, but if I was a client I wouldn’t like it. I would prefer to see the two of them spend time discussing it and brainstorming together. They are the experts. I don’t want salon people giving input on my issues, I could get a hair cut and advice myself, at my own salon, for free.

Overall, I liked the show and it’s off to a good start. If you can catch it on reruns, you should definitely give it a try.  However, like all new shows, it needs feedback and some tweaking to improve it. You may agree with me or not, either way I would love your comments!

Picture Credit: Elura's Twitter, OWN

The Mob Doctor: Family Secrets

This scene must have been very important since it's the only one I can find a picture of.

We begin this episode, yet again, when Grace is 6 years old.  Grace's mother told her that her father couldn't come to her birthday party because he was busy with work, but in actuality he was stumbling drunk.  That was the first time Grace's mother lied to her, she says.  I guess Grace's mother never told her about Santa Claus.

All this is to make the the heavy handed point that, sometimes, we can't trust the people closest to us, and, sometimes, the only way to  protect the people you love is with a lie.  I could really do without this Grey's Anatomy voiceover at the beginning and end of every episode.

Grace's mother has invited Brett to dinner with the family.  She's making duck, which is a meal she reserves for whenever Grace brings a doctor home.  Seeing as how Grace IS a doctor, I'm not sure why her mother is so impressed that she is dating one.

Grace's brother, Nate, asks her if she's heard from Moretti lately.  She says, for the tenth time, she hasn't and she tells him to enroll in community college.

Constantine visits Dante Amato, who is in hiding, because of something to do with shooting some Filippino people or something of that nature.  Dante's brother Titus is there as well, and informs Constantine that the video poker machines will be coming in next week.  I don't know about anyone else, but video poker machines remind me of my grandmother... that is to say, not very mob-like or ominous.  Anyhoo, Constantine says he can distribute and collect, and Titus offers him the same deal he offered Moretti, 10%.  Constantine wants 15%.  Is this what it's like to be in the mob, really?

Grace shows up to work, and an old man without family is admitted to the hospital.  And if that wasn't thrilling enough, a woman in a wedding dress appears, saying "Help, I need a doctor."  She is crying blood tears and her dress is soaked with blood.  Like a lot of blood.  So much blood that it couldn't possibly have come out of her eyes.

At this point I am certain that either Grace or I am dreaming.  Why do we have to do the House thing?  Is it not enough that she works for the mob on the side?  Must she also figure out mysterious cases?

Since there's no external trauma, Dr. White, the head honcho says it might have to do with the bride's heart, so Grace says she will stay close, lest we forget she's a THORACIC surgeon, because that's so important.  And then Grace immediately leaves.

Franco, Moretti's former henchman, now Constantine's, picks Grace up from the hospital and brings her to Dante.  She examines him but says she won't know anything until she can get him to a hospital, which is obviously out of the question since he is in hiding.  So she tries to make due by taking a urine sample.

Grace's brother goes to the post office.  Oh wait, no, he's actually registering for community college classes.  The guy behind the bulletproof glass window, for some reason, gives Nate the third degree.  He asks him questions like, do you have proof that you graduated high school?  And, what classes are you going to take?  Nate changes his mind about community college, it's dumb.

Grace asks her nurse friend Ro to find out about Dante's urine.  Ro says it shows a risk of renal failure.  Grace knows she can't help Dante without getting him to the hospital, so she tells Ro to keep her eye on the old guy from the beginning of the episode, and not let anyone call it when he dies.  Ro says, ok, seeing nothing wrong with this picture at all.

Meanwhile, Brett diagnoses the bride as having had a panic attack.  I don't think he even tried to explain why that made her bleed from the eyes.  Maybe Grace's mom should rethink that duck.

Nate storms into the hospital to yell at Grace and tell her how dumb city college is, because they wanted to know what classes he would take and stuff.  She basically tells him, don't bother me with this stuff at work.  This is the first thing Grace has done in two episodes that I have actually liked.  In the parking lot, Nate catches Grace bringing Dante into the hospital.

While Grace gives Dante tests, she finds out that he knew her father.  She asks if he knows who killed her father.  Dante says she'll have to ask Constantine.

Brett is running some more tests on the runaway bride, and finds a shadow on her kidney.  When he presses on it, she screams in pain and pushes him into a window.  She starts bleeding from the eyes and nose again.  Somehow now Grace is involved, and helps Brett inform the family that pressing on the growth released adrenaline that made her go nuts, and the first incident was caused by her corset.

Meanwhile, Flanigan is back from his, um, weekend off.  He has an axe to grind now, and he is suspicious as to why Grace is running to many tests on an octogenarian.  He's about to take over as the doctor for the patient when Franco runs up and says the patient is his grandfather and he insists that Grace stay on as his doctor.  The scare is too much for Dante, so he decides to go back into hiding.

During surgery, Dr. White talks about Grace and Brett's dinner plans, because apparently her mother had called him to tell him all about it.  How embarrassing must it be for your mother to call your boss to tell him she invited your boyfriend over for a duck dinner? 

Before dinner, Grace makes a quick pit stop to Constantine's to ask if he killed her father.  He swears he didn't.  Dante's breathing is very shallow so Grace calls the hospital for results.  She gets some... and based on that and the fact that his nailbeds are pink apparently means it could be cyanide.  I usually don't feel this out of the loop when I watch tv.  But apparently, Dante's wife was so sick of being in hiding, she was poisoning him with cyanide so he would die and she could leave.

Brett is the only one to show up on time for dinner, so Grace's mother gets to speak with him privately.  He helps her cook, and she tells him he has to keep stirring the potatoes or else they get lumpy.  UM... I don't think that's how it works.  That's like saying, if you don't shake the orange juice it will turn back into an orange.

Grace heads home and sees Nate on the side of the road.  He tells her she's in deeper than he knew. Then they go home and arrive just in time to miss the whole dinner.

Dante has survived, and to show Constantine his gratitude, he offers him... 10% on the machines.  Oh.  Well Constantine still wants 15%, so he leaves.  He and his men hijack the truck transporting the machines.  They douse them in gasoline and are going to burn them, but then Constantine realizes that each serial number matches two machines.

Apparently, I neither understand the medical part of this show, nor the mob part.

At this point I discover that Grace still lives at home AND she sleeps, which I was pretty convinced she didn't do.

Constantine visits Dante's brother Titus and tells him he knows about the twin machines, and how half the money can be collected tax free.  So wait... this money was going to be taxed?  What was illegal about these video poker machines then?  Constantine says now he's going to take 25% on all the machines.  Good for him, I guess.

A patient comes into the hospital and is pretty instantly pronounced dead.  Grace recognizes it is Dante's wife, and tells them to tell the coroner to check for cyanide.

Nate goes to Constantine and says he knows Grace is working for him, and now he wants a job.

I was hoping this episode would be less confusing than the last, but that wasn't the case.  For some reason this show wants to be EVERY medical drama that's ever existed AND MORE, but for me it is falling flat on all levels.  Why do we have to have to be subjected to Brett's ridiculous cases?  Why do we have to be subjected to Brett at all (no offense, but he doesn't serve much purpose)?  They could use that time to, oh, I don't know, tell us what debt Grace is even paying?  Maybe show her actually being an ethical doctor?

Is it just me?  What did you guys think of episode 2?

Follow me: https://twitter.com/ItsameMia
Picture Credit: FOX

Big Ang: Recap "Big House" Ep 102

Neil is back...

Now this is my first attempt at an actual recap. I'm a bit overwhelmed because I never realized how much goes into the note taking. Thank God for the DVR so I could rewind parts for taking notes. Enough making excuses. If it sucks I blame me. If its good then you can thank my ghostwriter.  Underboss (Carmela is on vacation).

Tonight's episode starts with Neil bringing a truckload of his stuff to move back in with Ang. He is bringing in box after box. You can see Ang is getting annoyed with the amount of stuff he is bringing in. She says that he should have only brought a couple of things. They have an exchange, and Ang says that hopefully he learns after his third chance. She states three strikes and you are out. She hopes she isn't making a mistake. She sees Neil's stuff in the room and she is shocked at the the clutter.

Big Ang is examined

In the next scene, Big Ang goes to the Cardiologist. The Nurse poked and prodded her. She also gave her stool cards. The nurse stated that she could mail them back. Ang says how do you mail stool cards. She says "eww gross."  As she is is getting poked and prodded, she feels like a rag doll. The doctor begins his exam and asks if she ever had heart problems, and she answers no. The doctor begins by asking her why is she here, and she states that a of hers friend went to a psychic. The friend had a picture of Ang and the psychic told her that Ang is going to have a heart attack. The doctor begins to ask if she ever sweats, and she answers, if she did, it could be from the hot flashes. And "the Ang laugh" comes out. The doctor tells her that her exam is normal, but she needs to cut out the smoking and drinking. She states that she has been smoking for 35 years, and the doctor jokingly says he couldn't tell from her voice. He says that with the smoking and drinking she will be risking having a heart attack or cancer.

At Ang's house, Janine comes by to visit. She sees Ang's stuff everywhere. She had furs everywhere. She states that she has 30 furs. It's like her zoo. She says that she feels her house is closing in on her. Janine calls her clutter "a disgrace."  She starts to tell Janine about a new place she saw that was big and had Palm tree out front. Ang states that she loves Palm trees. After the doctor's visit, Ang feels like she wants to detox for one week. No drinking or smoking. Anthony, the bartender aka Tan Tony, makes an appearance. Ang says that he is a workout freak and he is going to help her. Anthony asks Ang what she does to stay fit. She says nothing. She stresses and runs around to keep the weight off. She never goes to the gym. She states the last time she went to the gym, the gym came to her while she was on house arrest. She had a trainer visit her. Anthony keeps helping her. He takes her to a chest press machine he labels the "boob blaster". She finishes her reps. Big Ang says that going to gym is like slow death. She complains while she is at the gym.

Ang loves the house!

Next we have Ang and Janine meet up with a realtor to go visit the house that Ang fell in love with. The house is huge and spacious. Ang is like a little kid. She loves the house. She reminds me of Rocky when buying the house. Thank god Janine is there to be the responsible one. In the living area, Big Ang says she should get a pole for pole dancing. Ang talks about the mansions that wise guys used to buy her that were on the water. She says they have all been sold and there are no more wise guys to buy her homes. She has to buy her own. They go upstairs and look at the closets. The realtor shows her a walkin closet and she says she needs three because she has 500 pair of shoes, 300 pocketbooks, and 200 hats. Maybe after the season we can get Ang on hoarders. I am kidding of course. The realtor takes her out back and Ang falls in love. It is huge area for parties and she calls it the party place. She sees the jacuzzi and says get me a martini and bring to me in the jacuzzi. Big Ang tells the realtor the house is for me. Janine tells the realtor we will be in touch.

Shopping for tennis outfits

Big Ang and Lil Jen are on their way to shop for tennis outfits. Lil Jen begins to talk about yoga and Big Ang isn't trying to hear it. She goes on about Jen and her yoga. Jen says that she wants to do restorative yoga with Ang. Ang is getting annoyed and refers to her as Drop Dead Jen. They begin to try on different outfits. Jen asks to see Ang's culi (butt). She says Ang's culi looks great. Ang raises Jen skirts and Jen oops cameltoe. They continue to try on outfits. Ang shows Jen a pocket for her tennis balls and Jen replies with I bet those won't be only balls in there.

Tennis anyone?

Next Ang is at the Drunken Monkey. Linda is talking to her. Ang says she feels like she is feenin. Linda asks her how long she has been smoke free and spAng says two days. Ang says she is snapping. Linda tells the bartender to make her a drink and get her a smoke. Ang wishes Linda was more supportive and refers to her as her devil. Linda says that this just a phase. Big Ang says I can do what I'll say I'll do. I'll prove it. Big Ang and Lil Jen are out on Day 3 of detox, for the tennis lesson. They talk and hope the tennis instructor is hot. They meet Sergio and both ladies are enamored with him. Sergio asks if they have any athletic ability and Ang says none. Lil Jen says she has played stick ball, with a wink. The lesson begins and they are struggling. Sergio says you are beautiful so you should play beautiful. After a few minutes Ang is actually playing well. Ang is proud of herself and thinks tennis might be her new hobby. Lil Jen is also impressed with Ang. They both say that tennis is a workout. Big Ang says that Sergio kept saying how beautiful she was, but she says all guys flirt with her.

Big Ang figures that if she is going to detox then she needs a colonic. She heard colonics were an easy fix and she loves easy fixes. The attendant shows Ang the speculum that she is going to put up her rectum. Big Ang exclaims "that big thing?" She thought it was going to be the size of a straw, not a f*ckin' microphone! She says, "I don't think so" when the lady is trying to put it up her butt. The lady goes and gets the child's speculum and tries again. Ang is not having it. Ang says, in the green screen, that she doesn't do this in her bedroom and it's exit only.

And Big Ang goes back to "party" shots for summer!

Finally, Ang goes to dinner with friends and says she is going to be the sober party queen. Linda is there at dinner and drinks are being downed. Linda says its time for shots. Linda starts chanting "shots, shots, shots, shots."  Ang gives in. She has a shot and then another. Ang states that it was harder than she thought and four days aint bad. Linda says that summer is here and they are ready to party. Ang says that it's the summer and too much is going on. She lights up a smoke and she says "orgasmic."  Ang is one hell of a character. 30 minutes seems to fly by when you are watching. I hope that I caught the essence of the show. I hope Ang does figure out how to cut down on her smoking. She is a precious lady and we need her to be on tv forever. Thanks for reading and please let me know how I did.

 Also I would like to ask you follow me on twitter if you like at @undabawse

I would personally like to thank Underboss for doing this recap. I had agreed to fill in for Carmela, but was feeling overwhelmed at doing back to back recaps last night. Underboss not only graciously agreed to help me but did a fantastic job on it! Thank you Underboss!

Mob Wives Chicago: Recap “The Aftermath” Ep 102

Nora waves Pia's hair around like a flag!

The fight between Pia and Christina continues. Renee is embarrassed. Christina feels that Pia got up in her face and says, “no one disrespects me.” Nora finds some of Pia’s hair on the table and waves it around. Christina feels she has the upper hand. All the women get kicked out of the classy restaurant. Pia is offended at being kicked out because it was Christina who started the fight. A feisty Pia tells the security guard she isn’t afraid of him. Christina is upset because Pia went crying to her about what Nora said and then makes her look like an ass by telling her to stay out of it. Pia leaves with Nora and Nora tells her she never liked Christina, she is a “nitwit.” Christina and Renee leave together in the other limo. Pia is upset because she is the one who brought Christina into the group.

At Renee’s house, Nora and Renee discuss what happened at girl’s night out. Renee thinks it was disgusting. Nora feels bad because she was the one who put the gathering together and there was a terrible fight. Nora blames Christina’s behavior on too much alcohol. Renee says a friend should never put a hand on a friend. Renee says that Pia confided in Christina and brought her into her issues with Nora. Nora wants to talk to Pia and Renee calls Pia to invite her over to talk and have coffee. Renee also wants to tell Pia what she thinks of her.

Pia is feeling ambushed, what kind of invitation is this?

Pia arrives at Renee’s house to meet with Nora and Renee. She says she was shocked by Christina’s behavior, but before she can say any more, Renee warns her to be on her good behavior, she doesn’t want trouble like there was at the restaurant. Then Renee tells her that she isn’t used to being around people like Pia; she has never associated with a stripper/dancer “whatever you are” before. They have no class. Pia feels ambushed. This was supposed to be a meeting to discuss the fight. Renee tells Pia that she got up at the restaurant and that made Christina go on the attack. Renee thinks Pia should apologize to Christina. Pia says, No, Christina physically attacked her. Nora says it was embarrassing, she should nip it in the bud, and cut her ties with Christina. Pia doesn’t want anyone telling her what to do.

Christina is torn about the fight; part of her is embarrassed and the other part is glad she stood up for herself. Christina meets Leah and tells her all about the drama, about how Pia chose to address her issues with Nora at the restaurant. She tells Leah that Nora told her to stay out of the discussion. Pia was “flappin’ her gums,” and then Pia got up in her face. Christina says, that’s when she grabbed her. Leah is not happy. She says she wishes she had been there, she would have put that b!tch in her place. Christina doesn’t know what to do, stay friends and work it out or cut ties with Pia. Christina wants an apology.

Nora and Renee are driving to the cemetery. Nora wants answers regarding her father’s burial. She says the government took her father’s body from the funeral home the day he was supposed to be buried. The government says they returned the body and it was buried, but Nora never saw it. Nora and Renee go way back, they were friends for many years when Nora’s Dad and Renee’s uncle had business dealings. They get to the cemetery and it’s closed. Nora needs closure and she wants to exhume the body and find out who is in the casket. Renee supports Nora, who needs to find out what happened.

Christina never imagined she would be going through all this in her life; living with her ex-husband because of finances and lying to her nine year old daughter about their divorce to protect her. She sees a therapist. She tells her she feels like a bad mother living a lie and that in the end everyone is going to get hurt anyway. Then she tells the therapist about her physical fight with Pia. The therapist says she doesn’t have to apologize to Pia in order to bring it up, she just has to say she wants to clear the air. Christina says the trust she had with Pia is tainted now.

"So what if they deleted you on facebook? Throw a party!" Leah's good advice!

Christina and Leah meet up for lunch. Christina tells her she went to the therapist and cried about her daughter. Then she says Pia deleted her from Facebook and Nora deleted her too. Leah tells her so what if they deleted you, have a big party. Christina says she is confused because she didn’t do anything to Nora. Leah then tells her about an incident where Nora was very disrespectful to her. It happened at a gathering with family and Leah put her arm around her, in a friendly way, when Nora turn to her and said, in a nasty tone, “take your arm off me.” Leah says she would have beaten her within an inch of her life right there, if there weren’t other people present. Leah tells Christina that Pia is not a friend.

Renee and Giana meet and Renee apologizes for the argument they had over Giana visiting her father in jail. Renee has been under a lot of stress because her ex-husband is suing for custody of their 10 year old daughter, Isabella. He wants Isabella to live with him. Renee can’t bear the thought of that happening. Giana says he is just trying to make her life hell. Renee hopes the justice system protects Isabella from her father. Giana says there is no way any judge will rule in his favor. Giana comforts her mother and tells her to be strong.

It's all a facebook "glitch," says Nora. But is it?

Christina meets Nora to discuss being deleted from facebook. She wants to know what the problem is between them. Nora doesn’t know why Christina wants to talk to her, but when Christina tells her about the facebook issue, Nora says it must be a glitch, she hasn’t even been on facebook. Christina is skeptical and says, “since when does facebook have a glitch?” Nora says she has more important things to worry about than facebook. Nora has an issue with Christina. She tells her she is sick of hearing people call her father a “hit man.” Christina did it at the restaurant. Christina says she was just repeating what she heard other people saying. They discuss the fight. Christina says she was just defending herself. Nora says it was more that that, she had Pia in a headlock. Nora tells Christina that she is not a friend of hers, she is just an acquaintance. Christina is offended by her remark.

Pia goes to Nora’s apartment. They have made plans to go to the funeral home to get some answers. Nora wants to know where her father is buried. She hasn’t spoken to her family since his burial. She is now looking for a paper trail, who signed and authorized his burial. She is feeling anxious and wants the truth. Nora then tells Pia she talked to Christina and that she will not apologize to Pia because she feels justified in defending herself. Pia is now pissed because Christina went to Nora to talk about the fight before coming to see her.

Leah goes to Christina’s house. Christina tells Leah about meeting Nora to discuss the facebook issue. Nora denies deleting her. Leah says Nora is nuts and likes to cause trouble. Christina says she will meets up with Pia and ask her why she went after her at the restaurant. Christina says if she goes after her again she will defend herself.

Nora moved to Chicago for answers and she goes to the funeral home to get some. She introduces herself and is handed a large, manila envelope. Someone in the family called the funeral home and told them to just bury her father and they couldn’t be bothered to be at the burial. Nora looks at the paperwork and her sister’s signature is there. Nora is furious and feels betrayed by her sister.

Renee is getting ready for her court date for the custody battle for Isabella. She is scared. She calls Nora for support. Nora says everything will be fine. Renee says she has to fight for her baby.

Christina and Pia resolve nothing! 

Christina says she will make the first move to meet Pia. Pia says she is meeting Christina just to stop her mouth from running. They meet. It’s awkward. Pia tells her she is upset because she met with Nora before coming to her. She feels stabbed in the back. Christina says that makes no sense. Christina tells her she was trying to encourage Pia to stand up for herself at the restaurant, she had her back and then, Christina says, all of a sudden she had to watch her own back. Nothing is settled. They can’t agree.

Nora is headed to Renee’s house to ask about the custody hearing. Renee tells her it’s not looking good, nothing is making sense. She thinks they will take her daughter away from her. She gets hysterical crying. Renee screams it’s about money and power. Nora wants to get her a good lawyer to help her fight. Nora promises to always be there for her.

MY TWO CENTS

Still trying to get used to the Chicago accents, but I’ve had a chance to watch episode one again and now, episode two. Something does not sit well with me about this “fight” and I feel my old skepticism about “scripting” rearing it’s head again. The facts are that Nora insulted Pia at least three separate times in episode one. The first time is when Pia comes to visit her with a gift to welcome her back to Chicago and Nora is very judgmental about her “pole dancing.” The next time Pia hears from her cousin, who isn’t likely to lie to her, that Nora referred to her as a “whore.” The third (and fourth) time was at the restaurant when she sees the silver shoes and Nora says something like how could she wear those and look like a “whore” like Pia. When Pia confronts her about what her cousin told her, Nora denies it and says let’s forget about it. Then Nora adds that she always tells the truth when she drinks! BUT, instead of the fight being between Pia and Nora, as I would expect, the fight ends up being between Pia and her good friend, Christina, who was there to support and defend her against Nora’s insults. On top of that, Renee, Nora’s other good friend, also insults Pia, unprovoked, by saying “a rat is a rat is a rat” for no reason. I think that is why Christina, who went to the dinner angry at Nora, ends up saying, “I keep hearing from people that your father was a hit man.” She wanted to get her own dig in there, at Nora, for Pia. Why Pia suddenly dropped her issue with Nora and decided Christina was the “bad guy” I don’t know. Maybe Nora didn’t want to get into a physical altercation so the producers turned it around to have the fight between Pia and Christina instead? Pia and Christina can always make up, they have a history. So let’s create some early drama and then patch things up later when we get some new drama. I just can’t buy this fight no matter how you package it. I’ll just blame it on the alcohol for now. They made sure we saw them all take several “shots” when they first got there.

The good news is that no one is really happy the fight took place. The rest of the episode consists of several meetings between pairs of women to discuss the fiasco. Nora blames Christina and alcohol. But Renee seems to think Pia is to blame for bringing Christina into her issues with Nora and for getting up at the table and making Christina feel threatened. No one blames Nora for insulting Pia.

When Pia gets invited to Renee’s house to talk to her and Nora, she goes right over. There is a huge “What The Hell” moment, as Renee immediately insults her as she walks into her house! She tells Pia she doesn’t want any trouble. Who invites someone for coffee and then “ambushes” them? Pia and I were both stunned by that greeting. Renee wants Pia to apologize to Christina. Nora wants her to cut her ties with Christina. Pia can’t believe what she is hearing and neither can I. This time they can’t blame the alcohol!

Leah is a good friend of Christina’s and is always there to advise and listen. Leah is a firecracker. She has a strong personality and is very passionate. She also has some bad blood with Nora and I wonder what will happen if those two are ever in the same room. Nora has a habit of blurting out insults and Leah is more than ready to take her on.

Now I have to get into the whole Facebook issue before I die laughing. Christina is upset because Nora and Pia deleted her from facebook. I don’t know how Leah listened to that with a straight face, but I busted out laughing. I know plenty about facebook and unfriending people and it’s not that earth shattering. How are we going to take these women seriously if they get upset about facebook? Anyway, Christina seems to think it’s okay for Pia to unfriend her because they had a fight, but she had no issue with Nora, or so she thinks. She forgets that she called her father a “hit man” and Nora is sensitive to that, but whatever. Nora tells her maybe it’s a glitch because she hasn’t even been on facebook. Christina doesn’t believe in facebook glitches. That tells me that Christina doesn’t use her facebook much either. Facebook is famous for glitches. However, the timing of Nora’s “unfriending” is suspicious. I agree with Leah, that Christina should throw herself a party. She doesn’t even like Nora, so what if she deleted her from facebook, she did her a huge favor. Later, Christina decides to meet with Pia to try to resolve their differences, but because things got physical, neither one of the ladies are ready to makeup.

The other two storylines need to develop  more. Nora’s quest for answers about her father’s body and burial seems to get resolved at some point because we now know she was able to get a court order to exhume his body. We will just watch as this all plays out over the season. She should finally get her closure.

The other storyline is Renee’s custody battle for her younger daughter, Isabella, age 10. I am finding it hard to swallow than a court would consider granting full or partial custody to an ex-felon who spent time in prison for God knows what. I think her ex-husband would be lucky to get supervised visitation, if that. On top of that, we are supposed to believe that a judge would allow the child to be removed from a stable and loving mother and home and placed with a father who has a criminal past? Is it me or does this seem a little too outrageous? The father has no job, but he does have money. Doesn’t that make him a bit of a flight risk? He could take his daughter anywhere if given custody. We don’t exactly know all the facts about the case, but based on what Renee has said, it seems very unlikely that she has anything to worry about.

I am getting a better understanding of who is friends with who, but the loyalty, trust and respect between friends is on some shaky ground. The solid friendship I see so far is Leah and Christina. Pia and Nora are supposed to be long time friends, but Nora says too many things that a friend wouldn’t say. Renee and Nora are supposed to be good friends, but we saw a preview where Nora says to her “I hope you lose your daughter!” Ouch! Pia and Christina…even after the physical altercation, I think they will patch things up. Why? Because I am not buying the fight and I think it was for our (the viewers) benefit.

What do you think? Have anything to add? I’d love to know!

Real Housewives Of New York: What The Hell Moments S5E2

Welcome to Ramona Singer's World

Season five episode two is called, "Say what you mean, just don't say it mean." Have you ever heard a longer, more irritating title for a show? I haven't, so the show and I got off on the wrong foot. The truth is that I was so anxious to watch the show that I even forgot it was on until my lovely daughter reminded me and had to tell me the channel. My brain has a way of protecting me from things that drive up my blood pressure. Let's get to the What The Hell Moments of the show that I have renamed, "Ramona Singer's World."

First, Aviva and Heather meet at a restaurant with their husbands and are having a wonderful "getting to know you" conversation. I thought we heard as much as we could stand about Aviva's leg last week when it came up more often than the commercial breaks, but no. When Heather mentions how she likes to spoil her son, who has had serious medical problems almost since birth, Aviva chimes in with advice. "Treat him like you would anyone else" and then she goes into her leg again. While I do have compassion for Aviva, someone has to tell her to drop that story unless someone asks about it. She seems to think it fits into every conversation. Now, while her accident was tragic, it ended being life threatening after her amputation. Heather's son, on the other hand, is still having issues and going to the hospital to be treated. Maybe his condition is still life threatening? Maybe Heather is worried 24/7 for his health and well being? It's not like an amputated leg. I seriously hope this is the end of her bringing it up.

LuAnn has had it with Ramona!

Then we go into the main what the hell moment, the rehashing of last season's tiff between Ramona and LuAnn. I am not fan of either, but Ramona is starting to make LuAnn look good. Ramona hit below the belt when she insulted LuAnn's parenting skills last season and doesn't regret it. "Everyone knows you are never home with your children, you fall off tables," she tells her at the park. Why they would pick a park to have their meeting is beyond me? And what is Ramona talking about? LuAnn responds back about the blackmail, "You called and threatened me so own it.” Ramona denies it. They both agree there will be no apologies. Ramona doesn't feel the need to make one and LuAnn knows it wouldn't be sincere. I hardly heard LuAnn get a word in edgewise. For someone who tells everyone to listen, Ramona doesn't shut up long enough to hear anything Luann is trying to say. I found myself cheering for Luann when she said, "What other dirty tricks do you have to pull out of your Pinot filled hat?" I would have said "pinot filled ASS" myself. LuAnn accuses Ramona of having spies in the Hamptons, watching her every move.  Ramona says she doesnt have time to care about Luann.  In fact, she doesnt even have time to do her own nails, and then she proceeds to describe the new shellac she gets, that lasts three weeks.  Ramona ends by telling LuAnn she can't think of anything she likes about her, but "I always wish you the best." They shake hands on a flimsy truce. Luann walks away looking a little bewildered, like what just happened here? Then LuAnn, thinking out loud, says she may have made a pact with the devil. I think we all know she did.

Sonja's bouncing boobs don't work on Rich

The third what the hell moment is the scene where Sonja gets a plumber, Rich, to check the water damage to her home from hurricane Irene. I never liked Sonja, but even I was embarrassed at her behavior. No one is going to tell me that wasn't "staged." Anyway, she shows the plumber around and tells him her tassels on her curtains cost $35 each. I'm sure he was very impressed as he calculates how much he is now going to charge her for repairs. Sonja starts drooling over the plumber who looks a lot like the singer, Meatloaf. She bounces around, making her boobs go up and down, to the point of embarrassing him. The flirting went beyond obvious and sickening. She says the "Meatloaf-doppelganger plumber" is pretty hot.  She would love to cook for him in her toaster oven. Now I dislike Sonja even more than I did after her embarrassing burlesque number from last season!

"Sacre bleu! He is failing french of all things!"

Finally, LuAnn is very upset that her son, Noel, is failing French! He comes from a French family! She and her boyfriend, Jacques, both speak fluent French! He has a French name for pete's sake! How on earth does this happen? I couldn't help but think that LuAnn was feeling a pinch of guilt after being called a "bad" mother again by Ramona, in the park. If she had been a good mother and home more with her children, maybe she would have known he was struggling with French (and MATH, but no one is too concerned about math, I mean what is it good for?). Then I think how smug Ramona must be feeling as she watches the episode and sees LuAnn's son failing in school. More ammo for their next meeting? Of course, Jacques is no help at all as he makes jokes, and just manages to irritate LuAnn. I'm sure we will see more of this in future episodes.

The "piece de resistenance" (in keeping with the French theme) is when Ramona meets Aviva and then discuss LuAnn. Ramona thinks LuAnn needs to get a job. Aviva asks, doesn't she have a singing career? Ramona says, "What singing career? You mean the song on youtube?" I have to give credit to Ramona this time...this time she hit the nail on the head. LuAnn has no singing career and no future in the music industry. Those staged "videos" for footage for the show, were a total embarrassment. All this show proves every week is that "money can't buy you class."

Mob Wives: Recap “Hell On Heels” Ep 202

Renee enjoys her party, before the fight breaks out!

At The Party! We begin back at Renee’s party with Big Ang trying to make peace between Drita and Karen.

Drita explains she wants to make up with Karen..Karen is tired of the lies.

A confrontation takes place on the balcony. Drita is trying to convince Karen she wants to make up, but immediately we see that Drita isn’t always honest. Drita’s lies are what upset Karen the most. For example, Drita tells Karen she never said they weren’t friends, but there is a clip from last season, where she clearly says that when she “got with Lee” she and Karen were not friends. Karen also has issues with Drita and Carla for telling all of Staten Island that Drita put Karen in the hospital after the rooftop rumble. Karen was never in the hospital, and didn’t appreciate them spreading lies. That’s lie number two. Karen’s last issue, in this conversation, is with Drita accusing Karen of sleeping with one of her ex-boyfriends. Karen insists that isn’t true and she has no reason to lie. Karen ends by saying that everything Drita says is a lie. For someone who doesn’t like liars and lies being spread them, Drita is a hypocrite. I can’t blame Karen for being angry; when someone spreads lies about you it’s very upsetting. But, unfortunately, Karen will never get any satisfaction from Drita about any of those issues.

"I think it's important to state that we weren't friends when I hooked up with Lee!"

Ramona is right on the money when she says, this is not the time or place to have this conversation. However, she won’t leave Karen alone with Drita, after what happened on the rooftop, because she doesn’t trust her. 

While Karen is expressing her feelings to Drita, Drita suddenly appears to feel threatened and looks scared. Ramona comes over and Drita says, “What’s going on?” Ramona tries to calm them both down. She keeps saying over and over, “keep it normal” it’s Renee’s party, we‘re not going to do this here. A split second later, Drita throws the first punch, and a fight breaks out between the three women. But, while the brawl is going on, we later learn that Derek Tobacco, Drita’s friend, is not only there, but in the middle of all the fighting. 

Ramona is pulling Drita’s hair to pull her back, but Drita won’t stop punching. Renee is upset that they are all disrespecting her and ruining her party. Drita is dragged off by Derek. But Ramona sees blood on her hand, and thinks Derek is the one who hit her. She wants to get him to “kill him.” 

 Derek Tobacco in the center, trying to help Drita.

Meanwhile, Renee is taking care of Drita, who is sobbing and her eye is very red and swollen. Drita’s crying and yelling, and accuses Renee of setting her up. Meanwhile Ramona and Karen are screaming for Derek. Ramona and Karen are going after Derek and Renee cannot believe he would hit a woman. Then Renee remarks that her party celebrating life turned into a “death at a funeral.” 

Drita doesn’t want to be with Renee. She really feels Renee set her up to get jumped by Ramona and Karen. Renee keeps yelling at her “what happened?” Renee is still trying to figure out what happened and take care of Drita. She wants to get her ice for her eye.  Junior tries to calm Karen down. Drita is still crying saying, “yous all set me up.” Renee swears she would never do such a thing and tells Drita to punch her in the face, if she really believes Renee could do such a thing to her.

Karen flings a plate like a professional discus thrower!

Karen and Ramona see Derek and go after him, but he says he never hit Ramona, he says he was helping her (by holding Drita back). Karen starts throwing plates like she is at a Greek wedding. Renee is upset about her party being ruined and even more concerned that Junior, who is out on bail, could get into trouble. She tells everyone to leave the party and go home. Ramona feels bad, but she sys she and Karen didn’t start it and it escalated into a war. Karen won’t leave as long as her cousin is there with blood on her face. Karen talks to Renee and tells her Drita hit her first. Renee, who is angry, answers she doesn’t care what happened, it shouldn’t have happened tonight! Suddenly, the men are getting involved and Derek needs to go home because they are looking for him. Renee keeps trying to create a distraction to give Derek time to get away before he gets a beating. By the time the men find Derek they are in the parking lot, and Derek is in his car taking off. Junior punches the window of his car.

At Carla’s house, she says she doesn’t care she missed Renee’s party after everything she heard that went down.  Carla calls Drita about “the crazy sh!t that went down at the party.” She leaves a message on Drita’s phone, she wants to know what went on so she could compare stories. Compare stories? Who made Carla the designated judge of what happened?

Big Ang tells her the story of what happened. She says she was trying to make peace between Drita and Karen and it backfired in her face. Big Ang tells her friend that Drita got a black eye in the fight, Ramona a bloody mouth and there was no singing Happy Birthday to Renee, the party was ruined.

Ang's Party Recap: "Drita's black eye, Ramona's bloody mouth, Karen throwing plates!

Renee tells Junior and AJ that she went over to the balcony and saw fighting, blood and hair. Drita’s eye was swollen shut. Ramona tells Karen the cake wasn’t even eaten and the presents were destroyed. She also said there were rumors going around that Ramona and Karen jumped Drita. Apparently, Karen was the one who clocked Drita and hit her in the eye. But, before Drita fans get upset, Drita clearly threw the first punch. And then we learn, at the end of the episode, that Derrick never hit Ramona at all, it was Drita’s ring that grazed Ramona’s face when she swung and missed. Karen says she is done with the Drita situation. And, Karen seems pleased when she says that Drita is always talking about putting people in the hospital, but this time the ambulance came for Drita. So Karen not only throws a mean plate, she throws a mean punch!

At Drita’s house, Carla comes to pay a visit and gets the scoop about the party. We get the first look at Drita’s eye and it’s still red and swollen! Ouch! Carla feels bad she wasn’t there for Drita. Drita starts to explain her version of the events. She refers to Karen and Ramona as “Fatal Attraction and Lucifer.” She says they walked in together and Drita was told Karen wanted to make up with her. WHAT?  Did I hear that right? I have been watching very closely and never, ever heard Karen say she wanted to make up with Drita. Then Drita adds that Karen was mad because she heard that Drita was telling everyone in Staten Island that she put Karen in the hospital. Drita claims she heard Karen was in the hospital, so what else was she to think? She says she always puts people in the hospital. So she concluded that she put Karen in the hospital too. However, Karen tweeted, while the show was on the air, and asked all reporters to check all the hospitals on S.I. for her medical records, she was never in any of them. Then Drita says that Ramona stepped in while she was talking with Karen, and that next time she (Drita) is going to carry a wrench with her. She felt set up. Drita says she will never try to make up with Karen ever again. 

I guess Karen would know if she was in the hospital!

Ramona and Karen are walking around Little Italy, in Manhattan, on Mulberry Street. They are reminiscing about the old days and Ramona says, “you can feel Italian here.” Karen says that Ramona never turned her back on her family when her father, Sammy, turned informant. They go to a mob museum to look at the exhibits. Ramona says that her grandfather, Lefty Ruggiero, was a member of the Bonanno crime family and is known for the movie Donnie Brasco, which was about his life. Al Pacino played her grandfather in the movie. Ramona says she told Al Pacino to “do it big.” Ramona’s eyes soften as she talks about her grandfather. Her grandfather had a reputation in the mob, but she knows him as a man who had a great love for his family. The legacy he leaves is nothing but love.

Junior calls Renee from court. He was arrested last January in the biggest Federal drug bust in history and is out on bail. He is going to court with his lawyer to work out a plea agreement. Renee wishes him good luck and tells him she loves him.

Later Junior and Rene talk. He tells her how nervous and scared he was after she went through her surgery and almost died. He thought he was going to lose her. She asks why was he scared, because he loves her or is in love with her? He says he is in love with her and Renee gets all emotional. They have been separated for 12 years and she has waited a very long time to hear him say those words. He wants to work on things and try to get back together. Renee is afraid of more cheating and getting her heart broken again. Junior thinks they have a chance. Renee says it’s all or nothing. She has to trust him with her heart. She has always loved him.

My two cents. As for the party, Ramona was 100% right from the beginning. She said that conversation should not be happening at Renee’s party. People refer to her as a trouble maker, but I do not see why. She remained nearby while Drita and Karen were talking because she knows about Drita’s propensity for violence and that Drita lashed out at Karen last season on the rooftop. When things were getting heated, Ramona was the one who stepped in, with a cool head, and tried to calm them both down. I heard her say several times that it’s Renee’s party, let’s “keep it normal” and we are leaving (meaning her and Karen). Then Drita’s fist flew through the air. That ended “normal.” If someone attacks you, you have the right to defend yourself, and that’s what Karen and Ramona did. Let’s not forget that Drita wanted to talk to Karen, not the other way around. Karen was even avoiding her text messages. And as Judge Judy says, if you start a fight and get the bad end of it, that’s your own fault. Who am I to question Judge Judy’s wisdom?  Anyway for a tough talking cookie, Drita sure does cry a lot.

I do feel bad that Renee’s party was ruined. It was an especially important party because she had survived a deadly, botched up surgery and she wanted to celebrate her life. If I was one of the mob wives I would never have a birthday party, all parties end in fights. It’s just too risky. Renee had to take care of Drita and look out for Junior because he could not afford to have his bail revoke over a fight. If Renee wanted drama she couldn’t have gotten more of it if she tried! I hope she had a do over party after this fiasco.

Has anyone called Carla a trouble maker? She always seems to egg Drita on about everything. I remember last season when Karen gave Drita chapter one of her book as a peace offering, Carla told her not to read it. Had Drita read it she would have seen there was nothing about Lee in it. Karen did it to reassure her, but Drita jumped to her hotheaded conclusions and Carla just squirts gasoline on every fire. So now Carla wants to hear what happened at the party so she can compare stories? Like she is going to side with anyone, but Drita in this one. Please! It ain’t happening. 

Junior and Renee. They look good together. They have their tender moments. I could hear the quiver in Juniors voice when he said he was scared of losing Renee. But, at the same time, I am scared for Renee. I don’t want to see her hurt again, especially after all she has gone through. I think we already know the ending to this story. Junior, the wiretap, Renee’s father is back in prison…I’ll leave it at that out of respect for Renee and AJ. They are both strong people and I sincerely hope they will heal from this hurt and come out of it stronger at the end of the day.

I was too busy writing to catch the coming attractions last night, but I am sure the Mob Wives are going to deliver another great episode! They just seem to be getting better.

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