Now this is my first attempt at an actual recap. I'm a bit overwhelmed because I never realized how much goes into the note taking. Thank God for the DVR so I could rewind parts for taking notes. Enough making excuses. If it sucks I blame me. If its good then you can thank my ghostwriter. Underboss (Carmela is on vacation).
Tonight's episode starts with Neil bringing a truckload of his stuff to move back in with Ang. He is bringing in box after box. You can see Ang is getting annoyed with the amount of stuff he is bringing in. She says that he should have only brought a couple of things. They have an exchange, and Ang says that hopefully he learns after his third chance. She states three strikes and you are out. She hopes she isn't making a mistake. She sees Neil's stuff in the room and she is shocked at the the clutter.
In the next scene, Big Ang goes to the Cardiologist. The Nurse poked and prodded her. She also gave her stool cards. The nurse stated that she could mail them back. Ang says how do you mail stool cards. She says "eww gross." As she is is getting poked and prodded, she feels like a rag doll. The doctor begins his exam and asks if she ever had heart problems, and she answers no. The doctor begins by asking her why is she here, and she states that a of hers friend went to a psychic. The friend had a picture of Ang and the psychic told her that Ang is going to have a heart attack. The doctor begins to ask if she ever sweats, and she answers, if she did, it could be from the hot flashes. And "the Ang laugh" comes out. The doctor tells her that her exam is normal, but she needs to cut out the smoking and drinking. She states that she has been smoking for 35 years, and the doctor jokingly says he couldn't tell from her voice. He says that with the smoking and drinking she will be risking having a heart attack or cancer.
At Ang's house, Janine comes by to visit. She sees Ang's stuff everywhere. She had furs everywhere. She states that she has 30 furs. It's like her zoo. She says that she feels her house is closing in on her. Janine calls her clutter "a disgrace." She starts to tell Janine about a new place she saw that was big and had Palm tree out front. Ang states that she loves Palm trees. After the doctor's visit, Ang feels like she wants to detox for one week. No drinking or smoking. Anthony, the bartender aka Tan Tony, makes an appearance. Ang says that he is a workout freak and he is going to help her. Anthony asks Ang what she does to stay fit. She says nothing. She stresses and runs around to keep the weight off. She never goes to the gym. She states the last time she went to the gym, the gym came to her while she was on house arrest. She had a trainer visit her. Anthony keeps helping her. He takes her to a chest press machine he labels the "boob blaster". She finishes her reps. Big Ang says that going to gym is like slow death. She complains while she is at the gym.
Next we have Ang and Janine meet up with a realtor to go visit the house that Ang fell in love with. The house is huge and spacious. Ang is like a little kid. She loves the house. She reminds me of Rocky when buying the house. Thank god Janine is there to be the responsible one. In the living area, Big Ang says she should get a pole for pole dancing. Ang talks about the mansions that wise guys used to buy her that were on the water. She says they have all been sold and there are no more wise guys to buy her homes. She has to buy her own. They go upstairs and look at the closets. The realtor shows her a walkin closet and she says she needs three because she has 500 pair of shoes, 300 pocketbooks, and 200 hats. Maybe after the season we can get Ang on hoarders. I am kidding of course. The realtor takes her out back and Ang falls in love. It is huge area for parties and she calls it the party place. She sees the jacuzzi and says get me a martini and bring to me in the jacuzzi. Big Ang tells the realtor the house is for me. Janine tells the realtor we will be in touch.
Big Ang and Lil Jen are on their way to shop for tennis outfits. Lil Jen begins to talk about yoga and Big Ang isn't trying to hear it. She goes on about Jen and her yoga. Jen says that she wants to do restorative yoga with Ang. Ang is getting annoyed and refers to her as Drop Dead Jen. They begin to try on different outfits. Jen asks to see Ang's culi (butt). She says Ang's culi looks great. Ang raises Jen skirts and Jen oops cameltoe. They continue to try on outfits. Ang shows Jen a pocket for her tennis balls and Jen replies with I bet those won't be only balls in there.
Next Ang is at the Drunken Monkey. Linda is talking to her. Ang says she feels like she is feenin. Linda asks her how long she has been smoke free and spAng says two days. Ang says she is snapping. Linda tells the bartender to make her a drink and get her a smoke. Ang wishes Linda was more supportive and refers to her as her devil. Linda says that this just a phase. Big Ang says I can do what I'll say I'll do. I'll prove it. Big Ang and Lil Jen are out on Day 3 of detox, for the tennis lesson. They talk and hope the tennis instructor is hot. They meet Sergio and both ladies are enamored with him. Sergio asks if they have any athletic ability and Ang says none. Lil Jen says she has played stick ball, with a wink. The lesson begins and they are struggling. Sergio says you are beautiful so you should play beautiful. After a few minutes Ang is actually playing well. Ang is proud of herself and thinks tennis might be her new hobby. Lil Jen is also impressed with Ang. They both say that tennis is a workout. Big Ang says that Sergio kept saying how beautiful she was, but she says all guys flirt with her.
Big Ang figures that if she is going to detox then she needs a colonic. She heard colonics were an easy fix and she loves easy fixes. The attendant shows Ang the speculum that she is going to put up her rectum. Big Ang exclaims "that big thing?" She thought it was going to be the size of a straw, not a f*ckin' microphone! She says, "I don't think so" when the lady is trying to put it up her butt. The lady goes and gets the child's speculum and tries again. Ang is not having it. Ang says, in the green screen, that she doesn't do this in her bedroom and it's exit only.
Finally, Ang goes to dinner with friends and says she is going to be the sober party queen. Linda is there at dinner and drinks are being downed. Linda says its time for shots. Linda starts chanting "shots, shots, shots, shots." Ang gives in. She has a shot and then another. Ang states that it was harder than she thought and four days aint bad. Linda says that summer is here and they are ready to party. Ang says that it's the summer and too much is going on. She lights up a smoke and she says "orgasmic." Ang is one hell of a character. 30 minutes seems to fly by when you are watching. I hope that I caught the essence of the show. I hope Ang does figure out how to cut down on her smoking. She is a precious lady and we need her to be on tv forever. Thanks for reading and please let me know how I did.
I would personally like to thank Underboss for doing this recap. I had agreed to fill in for Carmela, but was feeling overwhelmed at doing back to back recaps last night. Underboss not only graciously agreed to help me but did a fantastic job on it! Thank you Underboss!