Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S5 E7

Carole decides to One Up LuAnn to see if she gets the hint!

My first impulse is to write What The Hell is this show still doing on the air? I can’t figure it out. It takes these six women everything they’ve got to be civil to each other and then only a couple succeed. When they argue it’s about a “fake smile” (Heather’s) or “talking too much” (Ramona and Heather) or other nonsense I still can’t keep up with.

Poor witty Carole has to deal with LuAnn’s game of “Can You Top This?” and she is tired of it. Every time Carole says she did something LuAnn counters with her own “similar” accomplishment. We all know Carole is a best selling author. How the hell can LuAnn put herself in the same category, saying she wrote a book? Every “unreal” housewife writes a book. It goes with the territory. I loved Carole’s sarcasm of reversing roles and one upping LuAnn, but LuAnn never got it. I would have loved to see LuAnn’s expression while she watched this segment. Then Carole sees how competitive LuAnn is and decides to win the game of croquet and put her to shame or at least shut her up.

If this is Sonja's first party it may also be her last! Ugh!

The whole episode was boring as hell, nothing could save it. Poor Aviva trips and falls at her anniversary party. That obviously wasn’t planned, but BRAVO made the most of this piece of footage. How desperate is that? Too bad the name Desperate Housewives is already taken because that’s what this show is turning into. But, I digress. The biggest and worst What The Hell Moment of season 5 takes place in this episode. The singer that Sonja picks out to entertain at Aviva’s party is beyond horrendous. It reminded me of the really bad American Idol auditions. No I am not kidding. 

Some initial reactions to the "band" are not good!

Not only were all the housewives disgusted, I’m sure everyone watching was too, except the singer’s mother. I am not going to look up her name or her band’s name, she has gotten too much publicity already. A cat in heat would have actually sounded better. I will say that Aviva showed grace and composure pretending to enjoy the music Sonja picked out. You could not see the disappointment on her face at all, which is more than I can say for the other housewives expressions.

Ramona hates Heather's fake smile, but has she looked in the mirror lately?

Of course, the episode would not be complete without some sort of fight or confrontation. In this case Ramona seizes a moment at Aviva’s party to attack Heather. She tells her exactly what she thinks of her phony smile, and that she has to absolutely get away from it. When she is done talking, Heather tries to have her say, but Ramona walks away saying she doesn’t want to discuss it. Just great! So for the last quarter of the show, Heather chases Ramona around the room trying to get her two cents in, but Ramona isn’t having it. Ramona is sooooooooo annoying!!! Heather really should have let it slide since Ramona isn’t working with a full deck, but BRAVO Andy probably made her go after Ramona to film enough footage for the show. BRAVO claims they don’t tell the unreal housewives what to say and do, but I heard Kelly (NY) and Teresa (NJ) say they were told and I believe them. 

I ask myself, WHY the hell did I want to watch this show in the first place? I was so happily entrenched in Mob Wives. I brought this disaster on myself just to have a little fun and ended up torturing myself. How many more episodes are there anyway? Ugh!

If you are watching any of the BRAVO shows I encourage you to visit the site stoopidhousewives.com!

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