Mob Wives: Recap "Cabin in the Woods" Ep 602

This is why I call everybody dildos 

Because  they are the fakes bunch of d*cks I ever saw.

Drita meets Renee for lunch to see how everything went at the Mermaid Parade because she couldn't be there. Everything starts off very pleasant. Renee tells her the parade was great. She shows her pictures. Drita spots Karina and is impressed with how grown up she is. Renee tells her that although things went well a lot of crazy stuff happened and Drita isn't prepared for what she his going to tell her.  Renee says Love showed up and she saw Carla. Love apologized to Carla for what happened at Drita's party, but said that it was all because someone was in her ear egging her on. Drita says, "Don't tell me my name came up." Renee says, "Yeah, and not good." Renee continues to tell Drita, Love told Carla that you told her you would bring Carla to the party and walk out so she could hit Carla. Drita says "that's a lie," but I didn't see the explosive reaction we all would expect from that story from Drita.  Hmmm. Drita just denied it and smiled. Drita says "I would never walk out and let someone get set up." Drita says "the last time I saw Love it was three years ago and she was dragging Carla by her f*ckin' hair. Those two hated each other and now she is trying' to pin some rat move on me!" Drita asks if anyone told Love she was full of sh*t?" Renee says no. Drita says, it figures, nice to know everyone has my back. Drita wants to know if Love likes Carla now, like everyone else. Drita says this crew has nothing in common except hating her. Drita starts to get angry. "You are all fake ass mother f*ckers." Drita is pissed and says Renee made up all kinds of stories about Carla and now they are friends. Renee doesn't understand why Drita has any issues with Carla when they were "tighter than a clam's ass" and never had an argument. Renee says she was just filling Drita in on what was said, so why is Drita starting in with her? Drita says everyone hated Carla and now everyone is friends with her. Drita shows Renee her phone and says she calls everybody "dildos" because that's the fakest bunch of dicks she ever saw in her life. Renee is stunned and Drita gets up to walk out. Renee feels Drita is taking it all out on her. Drita is fed up with all of them. Maybe the question isn't why is everybody friends with Carla now, BUT why isn't Drita "friends like that" with her any more? Maybe something happened at the end of season 3 to change their friendship?  I wonder why Drita never mentions the "pack" they [Karen, Carla, Ramona and Drita] all made and she broke when she sold them out? Now that would be a great sit-down for season 6!

Drita is done with the conversation

Brittany and her mother, Andrea talk about the parade.  Brittany tells her Renee wasn't too crazy about her. She judged her right off the bat. She said she told Renee not to talk about her mom or she would charge her. Andrea says would any one of those women take ten years for a man?  Brittany thinks Renee is being hypocritical to judge her based on what her father has done when she is in the same boat as Karen and AJ. Andrea says they think their way is the only way. Not everything is about hitting, that's like animals. Brittany says she will raise her hands if she has to. Andrea agrees if someone gets in her personal space and threatens her she should defend herself.

Karen meets Renee and Carla for brunch. Karen is glad they are in a good place, they dealt with their situation and moved past it. Karen starts off the conversation with her relationship with Storm, they are having communication issues. She says she is miserable and wants to get away from all the drama. Carla says she has has many good times in the Hamptons and met a lot of great people, so she rented a house for all the girls to have a fun weekend. Renee and Karen are in. Karen wants to ask her cousin, Frances, to come and Brittany.  Renee expresses that she has an issue with Brittany. Karen just wants Renee to give her a chance. Carla says she will invite all the girls, but NOT Drita. Drita hasn't called her so that's that. Renee jumps in with "speaking of Drita" . . . she tells them she was trying to bring Drita up to speed about the parade and Love and she totally flipped out. Drita told her, "You're a fake you're a phony," screaming and yelling. She is so angry that Renee and Carla are friends. Carla says it makes no sense she is angry about them being friends. Renee says, "The b*tch sat across from me and called me a name that no one has ever ever had the nerve to say to my face." Karen says Drita is the fake and the phony. Her actions don't match up to her words. Karen says, if someone is throwing dirt on your name who do you kill the messenger or the person who is throwing the dirt? I think Drita would probably kill both the messenger and the person throwing dirt with her blinded wrench. Don't forget, violence is the answer. Renee says the bottomline is that she has to have one more conversation with her. The last conversation. She can't do it any more. She's done. Renee may be done, but Carla and Karen are no where near done judging from the clips we've seen. Looks like a few more "meetings" are in the cards for season 6.

Manhattan. Renee goes to meet Marissa who is getting made up. They know each other through her boyfriend, O.Z. Marissa is doing photoshoot for a jewelry line. Marissa models for Renee. They take a break to catch up on things. Renee tells her about the Mermaid Parade and Brittany. Renee tells her why she feels the way she does, Brittany stirs up feelings for her about her ex-husband and father. Marissa doesn't care for people who cooperate because her boyfriend was sentenced for 5 years for narcotics when someone ratted him out to soften up their sentence. Then Renee invites Marissa to the Hamptons to join the girls. She warns her Brittany has a mouth on her, Marissa says she does too.

Shopping for Health Food

Is not Ang's favorite thing

Big Ang and Drita are go shopping for some health food on doctors orders. They talk about Drita's book. Lee doesn't want her to do it. Ang tells her she should share her story if she wants. Ang says she heard about the Mermaid Parade and how Love said Drita set up Carla. Drita is disgusted that after three years this BS story between Carla and Love is just now coming out. Ang says she doesn't believe a word Love says. Drita says if she was standing there she would have helped Carla. Now Carla jumped on the bandwagon with the others. Drita says Renee and Karen bashed Carla everyday for a year. Carla disappeared off the face of the earth and then came out from Karen's ass and then jumped into Renee's. Ang tells her she was invited to the Hamptons. Drita tells her to go and relax. Ang says right now Drita is the odd man out. Drita says Ang should tell them she has never seen faker girls, never in history. She wants them to talk to her one by one to her face because they are lying.

Storm has no time to talk about the relationship

Karen meets up with Storm. She says they can't move forward until he understands how she is feeling. He is concerned with his business and making money. She wants to talk about their relationship. She doesn't want to argue or fight. He says he is handling his business and money and has no time for this conversation. She wants to build a relationship but he leaves her sitting there. Karen is pissed he can't make time for her. "Enjoy your life Storm." and she leaves. This relationship has has more than it's share of ups and downs. I hope Karen takes the time to think about whether they can move forward or if she should cut her losses. Every woman deserves to be loved and appreciated and listened to.

The girls meet up at Karen's house to go to the Hamptons. Brittany and Renee greet each other. Brittany isn't concerned with Renee and her opinions. Renee still has reservations. Ang, Marissa and Carla are there, Marissa is introduced to Brittany and they all get into the limo to have fun with a few drinks on the way to the Hamptons. Marissa is a killjoy according to Brittany. She is complaining about the lack of air in the car. They finally arrive. The house is beyond beautiful. Marissa doesn't understand the excitement, it's a cabin in the woods and she'd rather be at the Ritz. Carla looks for Renee, she is sleeping. Renee is going to relax while the others go have fun. Marissa says she is reserved and not wild, while Brittany is a partier.  Ang tells them Drita is bugging out about her book and Lee doesn't want he to write it. Karen thinks this is karma for the way she flipped out over her book.

Will Lee ever support Drita?

Carla wants to know why Drita got so mad at Renee. Ang says she said it was all bulls*t. Karen says no, no, no, Love told her a long time ago Drita came to her house and said she was not sticking up for Carla. Carla says Love told her that Drita said she could do whatever she wanted to Carla, she didn't care. Ang asks if she believes Love? Carla says no she doesn't. Ang says Love is just a lying troublemaker. Karen wants to know what makes Drita more believable? Drita has been saying Carla is not a friend "like that" she has the mentality of a "mothball." Karen and Carla consider what Drita said and it seems to give credibility to what Love was saying. Carla said she considered her a good friend of hers and stuck up for her 100% and she talks this way about her, if anyone is fake and phony it's Drita. Brittany wants to know what does it mean that she wasn't a "friend like that?" Marissa is annoyed that Brittany is butting into a conversation when she doesn't even know Drita. Ang tells them that Drita called them all phonies. Carla wants to know why. Ang says because they all hated each other and now they act like best friends. Karen says when she gets back home the first thing she is going to do is call Drita because she doesn't talk behind her back, she has to say it to her face. Carla says they didn't come to the Hamptons to talk about Drita. Karen says Drita doesn't value friendship. Just makes me miss Ramona, who had Drita pegged from day one with her "Flip-floppin' floozie."

Drita's house. Drita is home writing her book and Lee doesn't have her back about the book. Giselle walks in and watches Drita write. Giselle wants twenty bucks for helping her. They have a little chat about "daddy." The story goes from happy to sad to happy she tells her daughter. Reliving her past is one of the hardest things she has ever done. Her two girls always have her back. Drita is determined to write her book whether Lee likes it or not. I'll believe it when I see it.

"Lush" is the new buzz word of Season 6

If you are playing a drinking game tonight, this is the word you want!

Back to the Hamptons, next day. The girls have hangovers and Renee is rested. Brittany strolls in and then Marissa. Brittany keeps talking about drinking and Marissa says she can't hang, especially with this lush. Brittany doesn't know what a "lush" is. Renee explains it's someone who likes to drink and Brittany says she likes to have fun. Brittany doesn't care for Marissa's "sober" attitude. Carla wants to fill Renee in on what happened yesterday. Carla says she didn't just call Renee a fake and phony but everyone except Ang. Renee wants to know why not Ang? Renee says she and Ang had a huge argument and were able to say they were sorry and work through it. So if Ang isn't being a phony to Renee what the hell is Drita's problem? Carla says in the last couple of years Drita has become a whole different person, she acts like she is JLo walking down the street. Renee thinks Drita needs to sit down and talk to every one of them except for Renee because e she doesn't give a flying f*ck what Drita thinks.  Renee is done talking about Drita.

Carla is in the mood for good wine. They are at a vineyard, tasting some wine, and Marissa doesn't like some of the wines while Brittany is busy finishing every glass. Marissa is really tired of Brittany always being focused on alcohol. They go outside and take a walk around the vineyard grounds and have a seat. Carla says she is having a little cocktail party that night with all her friends. Marissa calls Brittany a lush one too many times. Brittany says she likes to drink and have fun, she's good. But Brittany takes offense to Marissa's taunting and wants her to shut up. Marissa is not about to change her tune. Brittany is tired of being judged, she wanted to break her glass and stick it in her throat. Marissa says she was saying it in fun. The two have a little argument, yelling in front of the others. Brittany says don't worry about how many drinks she has. Now, if you are wondering how many drinks Brittany had this episode don't ask me, I was too busy blogging.

P.S. Mob Mistress wants to know why Drita is orange? Or does the color on her television need adjusting.

The RECAP for the first episode Mobbed Up Mermaids  HERE