“Bon Voyage, Ramona” refers to Ramona’s escape from the Berkshires. After she impulsively throws a “plastic” glass of wine at Kristen, who overheard her talking about her on the boat and splashes her, Ramona comes across something in the woods that sends her off the deep end and out of the Berkshires. I wonder what that could be . . . It’s trees and branches!
In the second episode of Lip-Gate, Sonja and Ramona drive off in the car and leave Luann to check Kristen’s teeth for damage. Ramona regrets injuring Kristen, but says she was provoked and she reacted. Kristen complains to Carole about the incident. Kristen wants to know what’s the deal with Ramona’s hair? Carole says she is into her “blowdries.” Frankly, Ramona’s hair doesn’t look so great so maybe she should switch over to wearing wigs?
Sonja knows that Ramona had a bad childhood and suffered abuse. Sonja is brought to theatrical tears when Ramona compares herself to her father. Ramona says Kristen reminded her of her father and the time he made her throw a glass at him. Ramona washes and blows out her perfect hair.
Heather and Luann discuss strategy: ice for Kristen’s lips and wine for Ramona’s belly. Maybe they can do damage control and save the trip.
Kristen has ice on her lip and a headache. Carole says, “Don’t f*ck with her blow dry.” Kristen sarcastically says, “Thanks for the memo.” Ramona does a “sort of” apology which is not good enough for Kristen as they go to head to head combat. Ramona sums up their issues: You threw water at me and I threw a glass at you. Ramona says she was provoked. Kristen says you cut my lip and I bled. Everyone else is standing by watching the show. Ramona continues to get hysterical about getting wet. I haven’t seen anyone that upset about getting wet since watching the Wizard of Oz and the witch melting! Too bad Ramona didn’t melt. Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn’t Ramona complaining about all Aviva’s phobias and now she is going to freak out over water? Wasn’t Ramona in the pool naked when Aviva and Reid arrived at St. Bart’s? By the way, do I think a plastic glass actually cut Kristen’s lip? No I do not. Those things are very light weight and would hardly have any impact when thrown a couple of feet. I think she bit her own lip so they could milk this storyline for three episodes. Maybe Carole will write a book about the lack of reality in reality television.
Kristen thinks Ramona just hates her. Luann tells Ramona her hair turned out okay after all. Carole says it‘s like a Polish joke, “How many women does it take to rehash an apology not accepted?” Kristen complains the only wine available is Ramona’s Pinot Grigio and she hopes Ramona doesn’t throw the bottle at her. Heather just wants everyone to have a good time and has a surprise planned for dinner. Suddenly, someone pulls up on the driveway and it’s a fat Elvis! Kristen is freaking out. Ramona says, “Is this the best the Berkshires has to offer…she thinks Kristen was going to “do him” right there and then. Kristen really appreciates the surprise and it helped her forget about her lip and the drama.
Then she sees a fallen tree and some branches in a small clearing and Ramona is traumatized. Ramona exclaims, “This is “f*cking unreal.” OMG! Who on earth would expect the see trees and branches in a forest? Ramona says it looks like her backyard when she was a kid. She tells Carole her father brought her mom to the country where no one could hear her scream. Ramona relives her childhood, imaginary friends and mud pies. Ramona is about to have a melt down and Carole needs reinforcements because she is freaking out over Ramona‘s odd behavior. They find Heather and Ramona tells her she needs to leave because she is overwhelmed by her past. Ramona tells Carole her friend is coming to get her at the airport and she needs a ride. Carole is stunned and then laughs because she thinks the whole scene was an act so Ramona had an excuse to leave. Meanwhile, Sonja yells at Kristen because she doesn’t understand what Ramona went through in her childhood. Kristen says she shouldn’t take it out on her. Sonja is hysterical crying. Thank God for Luann, The Countess of Grammar, who explains that they were throwing the word “provoking” around as an adjective when it’s actually a verb! Sonja picks up where Ramona left off, arguing with Kristen. Sonja thinks Kristen wet her intentionally. Adam rescues Ramona from the hell that is called the Berkshires. Carole hugs her goodbye. Carole says Ramona is very dramatic . . . No way, ya think? “Bon voyage Ramona you’ve given us a lot to talk about at dinner tonight,” says Carole.
Carole gets back to the house and tells the others about Ramona’s escape. Sonja is annoyed that she didn’t say goodbye. Kristen is looking forward to a day without Ramona. They go out to the lake and go on a boat. They have a nice young boat captain who is 20 years old of course. Sonja goes into flirt mode even though he is a baby . . . Baby Austin. Carole looks disgusted saying she is old enough to be his mother. Kristen says without Ramona there is no stress or drama. Carole says finally some peace and quiet. Carole Nightingale is obsessed with checking Kristen’s lip. Carole tells her everything Ramona said about her. Kristen gets fired up, but whatever, Ramona is out of there.
Kristen calls her husband and tells him Ramona threw a glass at her face and cut her lip. He can’t believe it. Okay, I hope this is the last time we have to rehash this ridiculously unbelievable story!
The ladies go out to dinner and are dressed to the nines. Carole is not bi-sexual, but if she was bi-sexual she wants to make it very clear that she would not sleep with Sonja because that would mean she would have slept with Harry! Uh oh, Luann gets a text saying Ramona is at a party in the Hamptons. Luann thinks Ramona planned the whole escape just to go to this party. Sonja doesn’t believe that Ramona ditched her. Sonja gets upset because they are all saying Ramona lied to her and knew all along she was going to Molly’s party. Everyone agrees Ramona is rotten and has something bad to say about her. A new text come in . . . it’s a picture of Ramona in the Hamptons at the party and
What I want to know is this, when Aviva rejoins the drama, who will fill her in on Lip-Gate and whose side will she take? I hope she is smart enough not to align herself with Ramona. Enough said.
Picture Credit: Bravo