Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Real Housewives of New York: What The Hell Moments S6 E12

Ramona has earned a dozen nicknames for her behavior!

“Requiem For A Poodle” is the title of episode 12, probably most of the drama will be about the memorial for Sonja’s dog, Milou. Let’s see . . .

LuAnn and Heather are shopping for bathing suits and in comes Kristen. LuAnn can’t wait for the gossip! She wants to know what happened with Kristen’s meeting with Ramona. Kristen tells them she brought her flowers. Ramona said she didn’t reach out to her all week because she wanted to see her in person to apologize. Kristen asks if Ramona ever threw a glass at anyone’s face before. LuAnn doesn’t remember her ever doing that. Did you notice how no one is mentioning it was a plastic glass?  Did you notice how, when they replayed the scene last week, they added a breaking “glass” noise to it? I don’t like Ramona, but I don’t like being made a fool of even more! They talk about all Ramona’s nicknames for all her deviant sides (Singer Stinger, Pinot Polar, Ramona-monster, Ramona-coaster, and Crazy Eyes) and laugh. Then Kristen says Ramona abruptly had to leave their meeting for the Hamptons as usual, and always uses the excuse “my daughter this and my daughter that,” when she doesn’t like how the conversation is going. LuAnn nods and says Ramona always runs for the Hamptons whenever there is a sign of trouble.

Oh goodie, a dog funeral! Let's buy hats!

Sonja calls and wants to have a memorial for her dog’s ashes she is sick of them being on the fireplace. LuAnn, Heather and Kristen are all going to the service. They decide to use it as an excuse to buy new hats. Kristen isn’t interested in the services, but it’s a good excuse to go to a nice house and hang out with the girls. That’s what happens when you’re a full-time mom, you look for any excuse to get out of the house. Sonja rounds up all her interns, they all loved Milou as much as she did. You think so? It can’t be they all want another chance to appear on the show at all, right? They plan the services together. Sonja doesn’t know how to say goodbye to Milou. She had him for 18 years. The funeral will be held on 72nd Street where she first got Milou, those were the good old days.

Kristen and Josh meet with a branding specialist. Her modeling career is ending and she needs something besides RHONY to do. She is auditioning for a workout video, God help her. Kristen is not in as good shape as she thought. Kristen really wants the job. You really have to be prepared for job interviews Kristen.

Can you work a fog machine? Can you do CPR?

Carole pops in to see Ramona, she needs to use her office to interview assistants while her home is being redone. Carole advertised on Twitter for an assistant. I actually saw that tweet and was tempted to apply. Ramona tells her that was the wrong thing to do, you’ll get nuts applying for the job. Speaking of not being prepared for an interviews, applicants walk in for the job without a resume. One of them is a rapper. Carole likes to ask a lot of crazy questions like can you work a fog machine? What is your favorite flower? What do you think of wire hangers? Have you read my book? . . .  no one seems to have read her book. Is it me? If I was interviewing with an author I would read both of books . .  .all two of them . . . and make sure she knew I did even if she didn’t ask.

The Milou Funeral production. Sonja has to separate from Milou emotionally so she goes to a healer, who had twins at 57 years old. Oy vey, are there no normal people on this show? Is that even possible? Medical science has come a lot farther than I thought when 57 year old grandmas start having babies. Then Sonja starts moaning about how resentful she feels about Ramona taking advantage of her this week. She reminds Sonja of her user and manipulating father. She compares Ramona to her sweet loving Milou. Sonja says a few parting words to the dog’s ashes in the box. It makes me wonder how Sonja handles the death of a person?

Why do I keep inviting my father to dinner?
Why doesn't everyone "Shut the f*ck up?"

At Aviva’s house for dinner, we have Sonja and Wendy. Aviva announces her father is coming tonight and Sonja still has the vivid image of his erection in her head. She is not too happy. Who else is there? George shows up, Harry is there, George’s 25 year old black girlfriend, who says they have been together 2.5 years, is also there. I do not believe for a second she is George’s girlfriend for all this time and Aviva hasn’t met her before now. George announces at dinner that he had to get his balls waxed. George tells Reid to put mirrors on his ceiling to spice up his love life. Aviva is getting disgusted with her father’s conversations and wants everyone to “Shut the f*ck up.” George hands his girlfriend a gift. It’s an engagement ring. She looks stunned. She wants to know if he is serious. He makes a joke then says yes. She says yes. Aviva thinks she is happy for her father, but it bothers her that her step mom is 25. I think the “girlfriend” wasn’t expecting a ring because she is not the girlfriend and didn’t know what to say or how to react. When is Bravo going to give us reality instead of lousy scripted material?

"The engagement" (enough said)

Back to Kristen’s workout video. She got the job and is excited. Now the production team gets the use of her house and a free infomercial for their video on RHONY. Maybe that gave Kristen an edge over more qualified fitness trainers who can exercise without getting out of breath? Josh is pissing her off because he is making fun of her while she is trying to work, yet he didn’t have any time for his daughter’s therapy session last week. Go figure. Am I the only one who doesn’t care for Josh? I think he has an agenda. My gut tells me he looking to get a spin off or a reality show of his own for his family or at least keep Kristen on the air for another season.

You call baby Ben's mother and he ended the relationship!

Sonja meets with Ramona and Aviva for lunch. Right now I am praying Aviva does not side with Ramona! Aviva asks them what did she miss while she was away. Sonja says Ramona left her flat on their trip to the Berkshires, and made a call that cost her her young boyfriend, Baby Ben. She tells Aviva that Ramona is a master manipulator. Ramona says Ben was too young. Sonja answers, it’s not about age, when you are sophisticated age doesn’t matter. Ramona tries to squash it. “If you’re happy I’m happy.” Sonja says, “I’m not happy.” Ramona promises not to call anyone any more. A man who works in the restaurant comes to the table and flirts with Sonja and gives her his number. Back to the funeral/ash spreading. Sonja is typing her goodbye Milou speech into her phone. Seriously, can someone get an intern over here to type this for her on a ipad or something!

Gotta love those hats!

Church bells are ringing. Sonja pops out of a car and Harry is already there. Milou was gay, but she brought the macho picture of him holding a tennis ball in his mouth. Here come the girls in black with hats. Stunning! Sonja is predictably unpredictable says LuAnn. Aviva is dressed for a regular funeral not a fashion show. I guess they left her out of the loop? They are all out in the middle of 72 Street. Sonja reads her speech by the house and the river. Here come the tears…a waterfall. Then she pours the ashes into the river after saying a prayer. RIP Milou.

Carole whispers she didn’t know Milou was gay. I love Carole and her little quips. Carole should get a spin off.

Picture credit: BRAVO

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