|Carmela & Tony Soprano|
To tackle whether or not Tony loved Carmela, one should first tackle the question: Is Tony capable of love? Tony is one of the most fascinating characters in recent scripted television history because he was so flawed. Tony adored his father but never was respected by his father. He was the son of a mother who truly dispised the lifestyle that her husband led. Tony was hated by his mother, Livia Soprano. She could not stand Tony. Livia's sole goal in life seemed to be to make all of her children's lives miserable. She even plotted to have Tony whacked. As the boss of the family, Tony suffered a mental breakdown. Maybe his sometimes odd behavior caused people to be wary. Maybe his long term parental issues eventually led him to a breakdown. He never seemed to get the respect he coveted from either of his families. Tony showed respect to most but his conflicted nature would never allow him to love unconditionally. In hindsight I believe respect & love was intertwined for Tony Soprano.
Tony did not love Carmella unconditionally. Hell Tony did not even love himself. He led a self-destructive life and was depressed. There is no way Tony was capable of loving his wife. I am of the opinion that many spouses go through the motions of love. However, there is no true love beyond wanting to spare the kids a divorce or the pain of splitting up assets.
One way to really address the answer is by Tony's actions during season after season. Tony fucked everything and anything on the show. He even seemed to love some of the women. He never seemed as passionate with Carmela. I am trying to remember if Tony and Carmella ever did have sex on the show. I think maybe once, but I am not sure. Some readers may say that sex is not really love. For many men we equate sex with love, especially sweaty sex that lasts all night when you first met your mate.
I never gleamed the passion between Tony & Carmela unless they were arguing. They both seemed comfortable for the most part within the context of their marriage. He brought home the bacon. Carmela fried it. I think as people grow old together, they eventually just become happy coexisting. Not all people who are married simply coexist. They do love each other. Tony didn't feel loved growing up. He never learned how to love. Somewhere in the evolution of this character love was synonymous with respect. Tony Sr. didn't respect Tony. Livia his entertaining twisted miserable mother surely hated him. No one seemed to truly respect him. At the end of the day, Tony didn't have the ability to love. He didn't love himself let alone Carmela. He went true the motions of love. In the end, love was a stranger to Tony he'd never meet. Tony did not love Carmela.
Well some of you will be heartbroken to know there will be no new episode of Mob Wives airing tomorrow night. Take it easy don't shoot the messenger! I wish you all a great holiday weekend.