Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mob Wives: Carmela Soprano vs. Mob Wives

How do you live the life of a mob wife or mob princess for that matter, knowing what your husband and father do in order to earn a living? How do you enjoy that money knowing how it was obtained? It’s been said that mob wives are not told what their fathers and husbands are doing, it’s all very private, but is it really?

Carmela surely knew what Tony did for a living. He told her more than once, that she knew who he was when she married him. Sure she loved him, but she loved the lavish materialistic lifestyle that she enjoyed by being married to him too. The mansion, the furs, the jewelry, the money…sound familiar? Did she know all the details of his “business,” no she didn’t, and she liked it that way. Just like our four mob wives, she used denial and rationalization in order to live with herself.

Of the four mob wives, I think Carla may be the most guilty of using denial and rationalization. A few things have been bothering me about her. When she spoke of her husband’s “stock fraud,” she said she didn’t consider it a crime. She neglects to mention he also was guilty of money laundering and other charges. Carla admits to having an uncle with mob ties, but never mentions her father’s alleged connections except to say that he went to prison when she was very young. She also fails to tell her children that their father was in jail. I get the impression that Carla wants to keep her head in the sand, but her body in designer clothes, expensive jewelry and fur coats (sans sleeves).

What’s up with Drita? How many years can she rationalize waiting for a man to get out of prison? She isn’t getting any younger either. I know of very few marriages that could survived such a long term separation. This couple does not strike me as being particularly devoted to each other. Maybe being with the other three “unattached” mob wives, will finally help her to see the light that she doesn’t have to live in limbo waiting for Lee.

Renee rationalizes her whole participation in the series. She talks about loyalty in every episode. She demands respect from everyone. And yet, when it comes to giving her father loyalty and respect what does she do? She ignores his wishes about being on the show. Just yesterday, she tweets that she is in Star magazine. The topic of the Star magazine interview is about why her father isn’t speaking to her any more. Anthony Graziano is getting more publicity than ever before. I am sure he will be thrilled with his new claim to fame when he is released from prison in January 2012.

That leaves Karen. You have to admit Karen isn’t in denial about her father’s crimes because he spelled them all out in his book. That makes it almost impossible for her to rationalize his crimes, but she does rationalize his snitching. She also has compassion for her father’s victims. I wonder if she would have given them a second thought if history taken a different path for her father?

But, let’s get back to Carmela. Since it’s going to be Mother’s Day tomorrow, I wanted to close with one of my favorite Carmela quotes:

MUTHA'S DAY -- CARMELA (to LIVIA): "I want you to cut the drama. It's killing Tony. ... This "poor mother, nobody loves me" victim crap. It is textbook manipulation. ... I am a mother, too, don't forget. ... You're bigger than life. You are his mother." (

Happy Mother’s Day and don’t forget to catch episode 4 tomorrow night!


Mob Mistress said...

I have to respectfully disagree with you on the Karen situation. For of all telling the truth doesn't need to be justified. However, Sammy the Bull did what he needed to do in order not to fully pay for his crimes. He was rewarded for telling the truth.

Renee knows what her father does overall and she still appears to have little to no regard for the price innocents pay for the alleged crimes of her father.

Carmela was a fictional character. If she had been real she would have been just as distasteful as some of the women cast in Mob Wives. She knowingly lived on blood money. Even when she started to break away from Tony she expected to live off the blood money thinking having being married to him was payment in full.

Now back to Karen does she think of the parents who may have lost their beloved children to the drugs her family allegedly dispersed into an Arizona community?

Do these women have any empathy for the pain their lavish lifestyles have caused other?

Some of the Mob Wives scream and yell respect this and respect that... but they haven't shown much respect to other per each episode of Mob Wives.

I enjoyed the blog entry. It gave yet another angle to look at.

Chiara Soprano said...

You make many valid points Mob Mistress and I hope one day you will expand these comments into an entire blog. PS I can't help but love Carmela! LOL

Love said...

I have to think of my family- oh, non of them have killed someone, but yet, there are plenty of problems. Yet, at 50 still have to say I am a daddy's girl. And he has passed. if I found out he had of killed someone, I can't say I would love him any less, unless it was something extraordinary. These women were probably raised by women that were REALLY enablers that didn't talk about it, so in their own way, they have come a long way to be honest.

Love said...

Sorry for so many errors, should have slowed down!

I, too, loved Carmella. I loved it when the Psychiatrist made her own up to her part in it, and she didn't leave....

Mob Mistress said...

Hello Love!

Many of us make typos; we still know what one another means. LOL! I hope your weekend is going good.

Love said...

I have to add- I think all the ladies have shown empathy for the people hurt- esp. Karen. (In #2 Karen had a big talk about how it hurt her others were hurt. Maybe not Drita so much- yet hers is not a killer)
Isn't what this show is about? Them trying to resolve these feelings of guilt VS wanting the lifestyle?

Mob Mistress said...

I haven't seen most of them showing empathy for the alleged crimes of their loved one(s).

Maybe I've missed something I heard Carla say she doesn't believe stock fraud is a crime. Then she cleaned it up to not a real bad crime. I find getting the elderly to invest in stock with false information a real crime. The elderly more than often are unable to rebound from that financial devastation.

Today we will be only four episodes in... maybe I see guilt, acknowledgement or honesty about the crimes involved with the lifestyle these women live. Right now I don't see it. I see a lot of look what I go through. I agree they go through a lot based for most of them due to their choices.

Chiara Soprano said...

I don't see empathy for the innocent victims. When you see them partying, going on or talking about spending sprees, living in lavish homes, buying six thousand dollar coats, it's very hard if not impossible to have any sympathy for any of them. If the FBI raids their home looking for a criminal and hauls him off to jail, should we feel bad for the wife? She turns a blind eye to what her husband is doing, doesn't question where the illegal money comes from and spends it like it's water. They knew what they were getting into when they married and they still went through with it. I think they should accept the consequences and not whine about it.